


All Your Fault Pt. 1

by Lisa94



Series: Sing me a Story [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Disability, Famous Harry, Kid Fic, M/M, Non-Famous Louis, Singer Harry, Single Parent Louis, Social Media, Strangers to Lovers, Tattoo Artist Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-05-24 00:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 60,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisa94/pseuds/Lisa94
Summary: Found on Twitter: AU where Louis is Harry's fan, they take a selfie together and Harry falls for the cute blue-eyed boy immediately. H pines over him but can't find L anywhere, weeks pass by until L posts this pic on his social media and H finally finds him, contacts him and they fall in love.





	1. We can get high, We can get low (Let me be your friend, Baby, let me in)

**Author's Note:**

> This Story is inspired by a tweet by @kissmeyoufoolLS, the crazy Ed Sheeran Concert in Dunedin and Bebe Rexha's Album 'All Your Fault Pt.1'. Enjoy!

**Ch.01 - We can get high, We can get low (Let me be your friend, Baby, let me in)**

_ I got you - Bebe Rexha (All Your Fault: Pt. 1; 2017) _

 

 

A kitty was looking up at Louis from his cup of coffee. He never would´ve thought that he would spend his days in a hello kitty restaurant eating cat shaped food but that’s what happens to you when you get a little girl. And Louis would do anything to see his little girl with the joy in her eyes that she was spotting right now. 

 

“So, how’s everything in Doncaster?” Briana asked. Louis simply nodded and destroyed the cat by taking a sip of his coffee. 

 

“Good. I’ve got a lot of clients while Lin was with you which is good. Makes paying the bills easier.” Being your own boss definitely has its perks but in the case of Louis his little girl would always come first and he only worked long hours when she was with her mother in L.A.  

 

“Our time will come, Lou. One day our careers will actually make enough money to live a comfortable life. By the way, I’m still waiting for that tattoo you promised me back in college.” Briana grinned. 

 

“Next time you´re in Doncaster you´ll get it.” Louis promised. It’s been planned ever since Louis and Briana had a study session during their college time, both bored and sure about failing every exam anyway. Louis had his first tattoo done a couple weeks earlier and was always drawing new tattoo ideas he wanted next. At one point he started drawing on his skin, which gave Briana the idea of quitting college and becoming tattoo artists. At least for Louis that turned out to be actually his future career.

 

“Alright. I will remind you.” Louis nodded. He gave almost all of his friends at least one tattoo for free. Of course, he would give his child's mother one as well. 

 

“Daddy, can we buy my backpack when we´re back?” Linnea asked when she was done with her hello kitty sandwich, sauce all around her mouth. Smiling, Louis grabbed one of the napkins and handed it over to her. 

 

“Not only a backpack but all the other stuff you need as well! The school sent your letter with all the things you will need while you were with Mommy.” Louis didn´t know how he should feel about his daughter being already 6 and leaving for school this summer, only a few weeks after they’d return to Doncaster. 

 

“I can't believe you're already going to school, Sweetheart.” Briana leaned over to kiss Linnea's perfect braids - definitely Briana´s work. Louis wasn't too bad himself but those looked like on the pictures Briana was always saving on Pinterest. 

 

“I'm a big girl now.” Linnea nodded and emptied her glass of lemonade in only a few gulps. 

 

“You really are.” Briana said almost to herself and Louis squeezed her hand over the table. All things considered, they did really good with their daughter. An unplanned pregnancy at the end of Louis’ exchange year had lead to a big question mark in both their lives. They only knew one thing - they wouldn’t get rid of their child. It took a lot of sleepless nights, discussions and talks with their families but they finally decided on shared custody, Briana staying in Los Angeles, Louis moving back to Doncaster and taking Linnea with him. She fitted way better in Louis’ career plans than Briana´s. They still made sure that Linnea saw her mother as often as possible. That had been the way of doing things for the last six years and as far as the parents were concerned, it had been good for Linnea. 

 

“Alright. I´m going to get going. I have a client waiting and you two a plane to catch.” Briana grabbed her handbag and checked if everything was still in it, a tick she had developed since her handbag had been stolen when she was in her teenage years, as Louis knew. 

 

“Her meds?” Louis asked. Briana pointed to Linnea's suitcase. 

 

“In her bag. You have her emergency pills?” Louis nodded. “Okay. C’mere Sweetheart.” she engulfed Linnea in a bear hug and Louis busied himself with putting their dishes together, making it easier for the waitress and giving mother and daughter some privacy. 

 

“I’ll see you two on your birthday, Lin. Be good for Daddy, okay?” Linnea nodded. “Okay. Text me when you land, yeah?” Briana asked Louis when she hugged him good-bye. He hugged her right back and nodded. 

 

“Daddy, look!” Linnea was already on one of the windows, excitedly pointing to something outside. 

 

“One sec, squirt!” Louis finished his goodbye to Briana and took his own and Linneas suitcase before going over to his daughter. “How do you feel about some pizza when we land, Lin?” he asked but was completely ignored. 

 

“Kiwi!”, she yelled and was out of the door. 

 

“Linnea!” Louis called after her and completely forgot about their luggage when he hurried after her. She was faster then she should be with her little legs and soon she was out of sight. Louis’ heart was beating fast in his chest, which didn’t get any better when he saw his daughter talking to some stranger. 

 

“Linnea Johanna Tomlinson!” Louis called and jogged over to them. “How often do I have to tell you to not run off and especially to not run to some stranger?” he crouched down in front of his daughter, hands on her shoulders to get her attention. “It's dangerous, Linnea, and I don’t want to lose you, okay?” he asked sternly.

 

“But he's not a stranger. He's from the radio!” Linnea told him excitedly. Louis was simply concerned that she wouldn't understand how dangerous it could be to just leave her parents behind. 

 

“I don't care if it's the Queen. Don´t leave without asking.” Louis told her sternly before finally acknowledging the  _ stranger from the radio. _ “I'm sorry for her, normally -” he broke off when he saw who the stranger from the radio was. Of course, Linnea would find in all of Los Angeles the one singer Louis  _ loved.  _ Harry Styles was looking at him with a friendly look on his face, patiently waiting for Louis to be done scolding Linnea. 

 

“I don´t mind. People run at me all the time. You get used to it.” he shrugged with a smile. Why was he smiling? That didn't sound like something someone would enjoy. But it was a nice smile. Louis just smiled back. Better to smile than let his brain take over and tell his celebrity crush a lot of stupid things. “So, your name is Linnea?” Harry asked and the girl nodded happily. “Do you want to take a picture, Linnea?” Harry asked and crouched down next to her when she nodded again. “I'm sure Daddy can take one for you.” 

 

Louis was still shocked by what had just happened that it took a shrieked “Daddy!” from Linnea to get him out of the  _ HarryStylesHarryStylesHarryStyles _ -Bubble 

 

“Yes, sure. Of course.” he got his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans and took a picture of Harry Styles and Linnea. 

 

„Thank you, Mr. Harry.“ Linnea said happily. At least she showed somehow that she was actually raised properly. 

 

„No worries, love. Have a good day.“ Harry gave her a big hug and turned to leave with a smile to Louis. His bicep flexing under his white t-shirt as he picked his bag back up, that Louis hadn’t even noticed. How often had Louis used his social media to get to know every part of Harry Styles’ body in HQ pictures. Pictures!

 

„Hey!“ Louis called out, his brain obviously taking over and not caring about how intelligent it was what would come out of his mouth. „Can Daddy get a picture, too?“ did he just call himself daddy? In front of his celebrity crush? Was it too late to grab his daughter and run? Louis closed his eyes, waiting for the humiliation to be over. 

 

„Sure.“ with an easy smile Harry came closer to Louis to stand next to him. “Of course Daddy can have a picture. How do you want it?” And okay … what?! Did he just say what Louis thought he said? Louis didn’t even know how to answer and simply raised his iPhone and flipped the camera to the selfie mode. Harry came a bit closer and god, he smelled good. This celebrity crush was getting a bit out of hand. „Is that okay?“ Harry asked, waiting for Louis to check the selfie. He simply nodded not trusting himself to talk anymore. „I’m glad. Just wait a couple hours before you post it, please? I’m off today and don’t really want to be mopped.“ 

 

How could anyone like this job? Louis would hate not to be able to go out and just live his life, constantly having his every move followed and archived. It was a good thing he never followed his teenage career in modeling but became a tattoo artist instead. It was a simple, relaxed life.

 

„Yes, of course. I won’t post them. C‘mon Lin. We have a plane to catch. Let’s hope nobody has stolen our luggage.“ The two Tomlinson’s waved at Harry before leaving to the hello kitty cafe. Louis slipped his phone back in his jeans pocket and made sure to hold his daughter's hand. Running away once a day was enough. 

 

“Linnea!” Harry called after them and Louis turned back around after his daughter stopped and simply refused to keep walking after her favorite singer called her name. “And Linnea´s dad that I don’t know the name of.” Did he want to know Louis’ name? Louis really wasn’t on top of his game here. 

 

“Louis.” 

 

“Louis.” Harry smiled. “I don’t mind you posting them. At all. Just wait a bit.” Louis just nodded. He hadn’t even planned on posting them anyway. Harry waved and finally walked away, Louis starting his way back to the restaurant again.

 

“He was nice, Daddy.“ Linnea said, not a care in the world. 

 

„I know, squirt. But listen“ back in the hello kitty cafe Louis made sure to have the conversation with his daughter again, this time without the distraction of a world-famous pop sensation. „I know that you got excited. But sometimes being excited makes you not think about what could be dangerous. So please, ask before you run away. Or at least tell me or Mommy where you’re going.“ 

 

„I’m sorry, Daddy.“ Linnea seemed to understand what she did wrong and looked down on her dirty sneakers. 

 

„It’s okay, honey. Just remember to ask, okay?“ Linnea nodded and Louis kissed her blonde hair. „Good. Now let’s go and find a cab.“ 

 

Briana always tried to get him to use uber, but even if all of America was using the new transportation form, Louis just wasn’t comfortable with putting his daughter in some strangers car. He liked it the old fashioned way that his parents had used - taxis.

 

„Daddy, can I see the picture?“ Linnea asked once they were both in the taxi on the way to the airport. Smiling Louis pulled out his phone and unlocked it, opened the gallery and handed it to the small hands of his daughter. 

 

„When we buy your school supplies we can print the photo, maybe buy a photo frame, and you can put it on your wall.“ Louis suggested.

 

„Yours too?“ 

 

Louis looked down on his phone, where Linnea had swiped over to the selfie he had taken with Harry Styles. It was a nice picture. Relaxed. Louis was glad he didn’t look like the starstruck man he was. 

 

„No, honey. I’ll just keep it on my phone.“ 

 

*

 

Harry was late. He knew that he was late but even if he wouldn’t have been aware of the time the look Liam greeted him with was enough. 

 

“I know that I´m late. And I´m sorry.” Harry told him when he came into the gym. 

 

“It's great that you always take time for your fans, but maybe leave the house earlier to actually be on time.” Liam answered, giving Harry a hug in greeting. 

 

“I just don't want to say no to fans if it makes their day to take a photo with me. It’s a really small thing to do.” 

 

“So … how many fans have there been today?” The two men started walking towards the gym dressing rooms.

 

“Two. I think? Maybe just one.” 

 

“One?! And you´re this late?”

 

“He was cute!” Harry defended himself. 

 

“Oh Harry.” Liam shook his head at him.

 

“I know that dating fans isn't the best idea.”

 

“Dating? You just met him!” Liam cut him off.

 

“Don't you ever see someone and just  _ know _ ?” Harry was a romantic soul. It really wasn't his fault that he could see him living in a house with Louis and Linnea the second he saw the two interact with each other. Linnea was a beautiful girl and Louis was just so  _ handsome. _

 

“Not really.” Liam shook his head and held the door open for Harry to leave the dressing room and start their workout. “So what? Did you already make plans for a date?” Liam was taking the piss, Harry knew that. But he actually felt sad thinking about the ending of their little meeting. 

 

“No.” he almost -  _ almost  _ \- pouted. “They had to leave for the airport. Maybe he doesn't even live here, I don´t know. I´m probably never going to see him again.” 

 

“I would have thought you made some great gesture and asked for his number … or twitter handle.” Liam grinned. He knew that the romantic side of Harry was hard to shut down and it was easier to just go with it.

 

“I should have!” Harry sighed. “I just asked him to wait a bit before posting any pictures in case more fans would´ve come.” 

 

“What’s your plan? To check every picture you´ve been tagged in to find him?” Liam laughed but Harry just pointed at him nodding before leaving his friend to find some weights to lift.

 

“I was joking!” Liam called after him but was ignored.

 

*

 

„Daddy, can I have this one?“ The two Tomlinson’s were standing in one of the cheaper backpack stores. Louis wanted Linnea to make a decision on what she liked best and not what was in Louis’ budget. He loved his daughter and wanted to give her everything, but sometimes that just wasn’t happening. Especially not if the father was a freelance tattoo artist and her mother an up-and-coming designer with not that much money in her bank account either. 

 

Linnea was pointing to a pretty backpack with flowers all over it on top of the shelf. Ever since her ‘Why-Question’ phase and her than knowing that her name was actually inspired by a flower, she was obsessed with everything flower-pattern. 

 

“Let’s try it on first. You´ll have this backpack for a couple years, I want to make sure it feels comfortable.” Louis reached up for the backpack and handed it to his daughter. She looked so big with her backpack, that Louis was feeling funny … almost sad. It felt like yesterday that he held her in his arms, knowing that this was it. His life would change forever now. His priority wasn´t college, work or the next party. It was that little bundle of life in his arms. 

 

“It feels good!” Linnea pulled him out of his thoughts. She was smiling up at him with her big smile, front teeth missing. 

 

“Let’s see how it feels with some weights in it. Your school books will be heavy.” Louis looked around for someone working in the store, and when he found them, raised his hand to get her attention. 

 

“Can I help you?” the young women asked and Louis nodded, pointing to the backpack on his daughters back. 

 

“Yes. Can my daughter try out this backpack with some more weight?” It was a service they advertised with, which was part of Louis’ decision to shop for a backpack in this store. 

 

“Of course. I’ll get some.” 

 

“Can we eat afterward?” Linnea asked.

 

“Sure. We should have everything on the list anyway.” Louis pulled the list out of his back pocket to check. They already had all the notebooks, pens, pencil case and other small things. “We can go visit uncle Niall for lunch, how about that?” 

 

“Yes! Haven’t seen uncle Niall in too long!” Linnea threw her hands in the air like she couldn’t believe how long it had been. To be fair, she had been staying in L.A. for a month and them returning to the U.K. had been a week ago. She really hadn’t seen him in a long time.

 

“Okay, here we have some weights.” the employee was carrying what looked like pillows and placed them in Linnea’s backpack. “How does that feel? It’s about the weight your backpack will have with all the books and everything else a big school girl needs.” she smiled at Linnea who looked at her with big eyes. 

 

“It’s heavy.” Louis couldn’t remember his own first years of school, but he was sure that he had a lot to carry as well. There was a reason for lockers in school. 

 

“Is it just heavy or does it hurt?” the women asked her and Louis stepped back to let her do her job. 

 

“Heavy. I need to work out, Daddy!” she looked determined and Louis couldn’t help but laugh. 

 

“Why’s that?” he asked with a chuckle. 

 

“Uncle Zayn does it all the time because he has a bad back from all the painting.” Louis nodded with a grin. “He does! He said so!” 

 

“I believe he does, squirt. So, working out or not. Do you think this backpack is good? Or do you want another one?”

 

“No, I like this one.” Linnea let the women pull out the weights and proudly walked up to the counter to let the backpack be scanned. After Louis had paid for it the two Tomlinson’s walked back to his car, Linnea still with the backpack on. She was so excited for school and Louis didn’t want to take that joy away from her. It most likely would disappear on his own in a couple of years.

 

Niall was one of the first people Louis had let into his life after he had returned from the states. A lot of his friends hadn’t ditched him but were distant ever since he had brought home Linnea. Everyone had been excited to have Tommo back in the city to have parties and the time of their lives. The little baby in his arms had put a damper on that. Especially the fact that Louis rather spent every minute he had with his daughter was something a lot of his friends needed some time to understand. Louis kept in contact, saw them occasionally and made sure they all met Linnea. But once he was ready to leave his daughter with a babysitter (who was his sister) he didn't feel like going out with his friends but found his way into the new Irish pub. 

Niall was fun and loud and loved to laugh. As soon as he saw Louis alone and tired looking at his bar he made sure to get him to cheer up. It worked good enough that Louis kept on coming back and it wasn’t long until they called each other friends, Niall met Linnea and somehow it was a no-brainer to ask him to be Lin’s godfather. 

 

“Uncle Niall!” Linnea screamed and run up to the bar where her uncle was working. It was still early and the pub mostly empty, once the rush started and all the drunk men started to show up Louis made sure to keep Linnea far away from the Irish pub.

 

“Lin!” Niall screamed just as loud and pulled her in a tight hug, setting her on his hip. “How are you?” And that’s why Niall was the best uncle Linnea could have. Never ashamed of her, always making time for her and being 100% there for her. 

 

“I missed you!” she told him and didn’t let go of her hug. 

 

“Oh, I missed you, too. How was Los Angeles? Did you enjoy spending time with your Mom?” Niall walked them behind the bar to sit her down next to the still empty glasses. It was Linneas place, often helping Niall with his day-costumers, handing him the glasses to fill them up. Louis took a seat at the bar and smiled at the two of them. He knew that she was in good hands with Niall and that he could take a small break from worrying.

 

“Yes! I played lots with Mommys neighbors dog and went to the beach and to the zoo and I met Harry!” she told her uncle, arms flying wildly as she told him of her vacation animatedly. 

 

“Who’s Harry?” Niall asked and filled two glasses with water for his guests. 

 

“He sings Kiwi! Daddy, I need the picture!” Linnea held out her hand to her father who simply raised an eyebrow but didn’t move otherwise. “Please.” Linnea was quick to add and Louis took out his phone and opened the picture before handing it over to his daughter. 

 

“You met Harry Styles?” Niall asked. Of course, he knew who that was. Not only was he and his music everywhere, but his god-child was obsessed with him and everyone around them knew about Louis’ celebrity crush. 

 

“He was so nice, uncle Niall! And sooo tall!” Louis had to laugh at Linnea´s wide eyes. 

 

“How come I didn’t know about this?” Niall asked Louis, for sure now looking at the selfie Louis took with Harry. 

 

“It’s no big deal.” Louis shrugged but Niall gave him an unimpressed look. “Yeah, okay, it’s a big deal. He really was very nice and charming and it was great meeting him.” 

 

“One question - you met your biggest celebrity crush and it’s not all over your social media? You post your kids new shoes because they’re cute but not this?” 

 

“He asked me not to do it right away and then I just forgot.” Louis shrugged. “Try having a six-year-old, you don’t get much free time.” 

 

“Can’t believe you kept this from me.” Niall muttered under his breath and played with Louis’ phone. When he gave it back to the other man and focused his attention back on Linnea and what she wanted to have for lunch, Louis’ eyes grew wide when he saw what Niall had done. 

  
  


“Niall. Why?” It wasn’t the end of the world, of course not. But this was something for Louis to post. Or not to post. He had been perfectly happy with looking at their picture in private moments and not share it with his followers. Who happens to be is friends, family, and customers. 

 

“Because you won’t and Harry Styles asked you to do it.” Niall just shrugged and walked over to the small kitchen to get their lunch ready.

 

“He didn’t ask me to post a picture!” Louis exclaimed.

 

“Well, he asked you not to do right away. Which means you should do it later. C’mon Louis, what’s the big deal? It’s just a fan picture.” Somehow it didn’t feel like a simple fan picture. Niall was right with Louis’ celebrity crush and now that it was out there in the world, it felt different. The privacy of their meeting was somehow gone. And Louis didn’t know how to feel about that.

 

*

 

“What’s up with him?” Nick asked. They had a mans night out - Harry, Liam, and Nick. Well, they call it night out but really it’s just them sitting in a private booth having a couple of beer. Harry, after having enough alcohol to feel tipsy, had turned out of her conversations and was playing with his phone. 

 

“He’s looking for his boyfriend.” Liam told Nick and took a sip of his beer. 

 

“Since when does he have a boyfriend?” 

 

“Oh, his boyfriend doesn’t know about their relationship. Yeah, he’s a fan. Or his daughter. We´re not sure about that. Anyways they took a picture, H is in love and now he’s stalking every picture he’s tagged in on Instagram to find him again. They were leaving for a plane so he could be posting that picture in every time zone.” 

 

“Is that healthy? Harry!” Nick nudged him to get him out of his trance. 

 

“What?” Harry asked, not having heard any of their conversations. 

 

“What you’re doing isn’t healthy. Thousands of people must tag you every day. It must take you hours to find someone who might not even be interested in you. Come back to the real world!” Nick doesn’t give up as easily as Liam and makes sure to give Harry a reality check every now and then. 

 

“He was! You weren’t there.” 

 

“Is he at least gay? Or bi or pan? Anything that makes him attracted to you?” Nick was resting his forearms on the table, giving his full attention to Harry.

 

“I’m pretty sure that he was checking me out.” Harry said in a voice that didn't sound like he was, eyes still on his phone.

 

“Are you serious? Harry, as your friend I need to take away your phone and make sure you stay with us in the real world.” Nick grabbed Harry´s phone and pulled it out of his hands. 

 

“No, no, no, wait! Give me back my phone!” Harry almost fell on the table, trying to get his phone back. 

 

“Whoa! This is exactly why you need to get off your phone.” Nick looked wide-eyed at his friends’ behavior.

 

“No, you don't get it. Let me-” he finally got his phone back and unlocked it, happy to still have the same nine pictures on his Instagram. “I found him. I found Louis!” Harry showed his phone to his friends. 

 

“He looks nice.” Nick told him, not wanting to give him more reason to follow this crazy idea, but also trying to be the supporting friend. 

 

“I know. I’m going to contact him.” Harry, once again, zoomed out of his friends' conversations to write a direct message to Louis. 

 

_ Hello Louis. That´s a nice picture of us. How are you? H.  _

 

That was good, right? Not too much. Louis would totally answer to a message like that. Harry waited for a bit but didn’t receive an answer. Pouting he kept on taping on his display to keep it from locking. 

 

“Why is he not answering?” Harry whined.

 

“Mate, you're a terrible texter. You take forever to answer. Other people might be just like that. Give him some time.” Liam laughed. 

 

“I should write another message.” Harry decided and picked up his phone, only to have it taken away by Nick.

 

“Nope. Louis may not even live in the same time zone. And even if he is, you said he has a child! Maybe he’s actually in bed already. Listen, you’re drunk. And you found Louis, sent him a message and now you wait for him to answer and finally enjoy our night out.” 

 

And with a locked iPhone in Nick’s jeans pocket, Harry emptied his beer and went up to the bar to get another bottle, thoughts still with Louis. 

 

*

 

“Okay, I’ll just put this bandage over it and Rosa will tell you everything about aftercare. You’ll pay out there as well.” It was another successful day of work and with the last appointment for the day, Louis let the young guy go and started cleaning up the room. He only worked half days with Linnea at home with his sister. 

 

“Is it okay if I leave before you?” Rosa was leaning in the doorway. “I can have an earlier shift at the bar and I take what I can at the moment.” Louis and Rosa had started working at the same tattoo parlor and became close quite quickly. Rosa was working at the reception while Louis learned whatever he could about actually tattooing. Once Louis decided  to quit and start his own business he asked Rosa to come with him and she immediately agreed.  

 

“Absolutely.” Louis agreed. “School starts on Monday, I can work longer hours then. Hopefully, that helps with your finances.” 

 

“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Louis nodded and Rosa left him alone in his parlor. Linnea loved her aunt-time which is why Louis wasn’t in a hurry and would get some groceries on his way home. He grabbed his jacket and checked his phone on his way out. With his keys already in his hand to lock up for the day, they almost fell out of his hand when he saw the Instagram notification next to a bunch of likes from strangers. Harry fucking Styles had sent him a message. How did he even found him? He should answer him. 

 

_ Hi Harry. How did you find me?  _

 

He typed with shaky fingers. Re-reading the message he felt kinda rude. He didn’t even answer Harry’s question. Louis was a grown-up man with a six-year-old daughter. How was it possible that a pop star could turn him into a nervous teenage girl?!

 

_ Sorry. I’m good, thanks. How are you?  _

 

„You look like you’re texting with your crush.“ Lottie’s voice came out of nowhere and Louis almost dropped his phone. Turning around he saw his sister with his daughter beside her. Lottie had a shit eating grin on her face, obviously enjoying the moment. 

 

„What? I’m not.“ Louis was quick to defend himself. Too quick. 

 

„You Are!“ Lottie exclaimed with wide eyes. That her teasing was actually based on true facts, she couldn’t have guessed. 

 

„No.“ Louis said sternly. „What are you two doing here anyway?” He finally put his phone in his pocket and locked the parlor. 

 

“We drew all the picture there are. So we thought we pick you up from work.” Lottie shrugged.

 

“Auntie Lottie put all of my pictures on the fridge.” Linnea told her dad proudly. 

 

“Did you? I’m excited to see them all, love.” Louis took Linnea’s hand. “Do you want to come with us to get some groceries?” He asked his sister who shook his head, talking about a meeting with her friends. 

 

While they were grocery shopping Louis’ phone beeped a couple of times but he resisted and gave his full attention to Linnea and her dilemma on which cookies to buy. Father and daughter both weren’t the best examples of a healthy lifestyle and with every trip to the supermarket, both of them were allowed to buy one type of candy. Louis couldn’t resist his sweet tooth and it was only fair to let Linnea pick as well.

 

But as soon as they were home (and Louis had had a tour of Linnea’s drawings) he looked at the new messages, all from Harry Styles. 

 

_ Would it be very embarrassing if I told you that I looked up every picture I was tagged in until I found you?  _

 

_ I’m glad you posted it. I thought you might not when I couldn’t find it the next day.  _

 

_ I’m good, too! Just woke up :) _

 

Louis checked the time, surprised that it was 2 pm and Harry just woke up before he realized that he was still in Los Angeles. 

 

_ Right, you’re in LA. Was confused for a sec. _

 

_ Sooo are you stalking every fan that ever took a picture with you? _

 

“Daddy!” Linnea called for Louis from her room.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Can you help me with my backpack? I want to get ready for school!” She still had the weekend before she actually had to start school but it was cute that she was so excited to go.

 

“I’ll be there in a second!”

 

Just in time, Harry had sent him another message and Louis couldn’t really tell what kind of emotions were running wild in him.

 

_ Just the cute ones :) and where exactly are you if you don’t mind me asking? I guess in a different time zone? _

 

Louis answered with a quick  _ U.K  _ and left the part of him being cute completely unanswered. Harry Styles called him cute and he didn’t know how to handle that.

 

*

“Well, shit.” Harry was still lying in bed scrolling through his conversation with Louis. It was just his luck to meet someone he was truly interested in only to have them live in a different country. Harry did have a house in London but he spent most of his time in his L.A. home mostly because it was easier for the job. 

 

Harry answered with a  _ that’s where I’m from! But I live in la  _ to keep the conversation going and locked his phone to get dressed and start the day with his morning run. On one of his first tours, his management team had decided it was a good idea to have a personal trainer on tour. He would help keep Harry fit and healthy but also promised Harry it would be a good balance to being on stage. 

 

He hadn’t liked it at first and was too tired from touring to also train some muscles he didn’t have. But over time he learned to love it and even when he wasn’t on tour he did some kind of workout each day. He texted his bodyguard his route - a compromise they had made. Harry didn’t want his bodyguard with him all the time and his bodyguard wanted to do his job. The rule was that Harry could do what he wanted but had to let Paul know where he went - and started his run. 

 

The weather was nice in L.A and luckily he didn’t meet any fans. Of course, he loved meeting them most days but this - working out - was something like me-time for harry and he didn’t like to interrupt it for pictures or autographs. 

 

By the time he got back and had showered Louis had answered him. 

 

_ You’re up early if you’re still in LA  _

 

Smiling he typed a reply. 

 

_ Keeping track on my time zone?  _

 

_ Linnea’s mother lives there. I know what time it is in la. Don’t flatter yourself! ;)  _

 

Harry sat down on his sofa and kept on texting with Louis. It was weird how normally Harry would never write like this with a fan. He knew why Liam wasn’t excited for him. Being too personal with a fan could come back and bite him in the ass. But he got a feeling that Louis wouldn’t sell him out to the press or share their conversations on social media. 

 

They kept texting until Harry's phone rang, his PR calling him. 

 

„Hey, Sonya.“ Harry made himself comfortable on the couch, knowing that normally those phone calls could take a while. His sofa was in front of his big window overseeing the ocean and the people enjoying the early hours at the beach. 

 

“Hi, Harry. How are you?”

 

“Good. How are you?” 

 

“Fine, thanks, love. So, remember how we started a contest for schools to win a concert in their town?” 

 

“Of course.” It had been one of the contest ideas that Harry actually had liked. It was original and more than one or two people could win. 

 

“We have our final three. One in Australia, one in Britain and one in Japan. Do you want to come in and see their admissions? We would also like for you to pick the winner.” Harry loved his PR team. They actually had good ideas and didn’t want to do each and every contest only in the US and only for one person to win a shirt. 

 

“Absolutely. When should I drop by?” 

 

“Does tomorrow work?”

 

“I’ll be there.”

 

*

 

Linnea’s first day of school had always been something Louis had dreaded. Not only was his little girl growing up, already six and getting more and more independent, but Louis couldn’t help but worry when she wasn’t in his eyesight. Which is exactly why his first call after both he and his daughter were dressed was to his stepdad. 

 

“I was waiting for your call.” Dan greeted him and Louis could hear a smile in his voice. 

 

“It’s going to be alright, right? I’m being paranoid and nothing bad is going to happen.” Ever since he woke up his mind was playing games with him, showing him all worst case scenarios. 

 

“Louis, this school is perfect for Lin. And she will have Abby! She likes Abby, right? And you trust her?” 

 

“Yes, I wouldn’t have employed her otherwise.”

 

“First days are hard. In your case just this little bit more. But you’ll get through this and each day will be easier.” 

 

“Maybe I’ll just stay at Niall’s for the time she’s at school. I took off today anyways and at least Niall can distract me.” 

 

“That sounds like a good idea. Give it time, Louis. I know it’s hard but you need to trust other people - and your daughter - that everyone will do their best and nothing bad is going to happen.” 

 

„Logically I know that …“ Louis sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

 

„It’s never easy. That’s part of being a parent.“ 

 

„Nobody had told me that being a parent meant to worry 24/7.“ 

 

„Like I said, it gets easier over time.“ 

 

„Thanks. I need to go if I want to get her there in time. See you on Sunday?” 

 

“Of course. We need to celebrate our big school girl.” They had a barbecue planned for Sunday to celebrate Linnea with the whole family. With a family as big as the Tomlinson’s it was hard to find a date where everyone was available. 

 

“Lin! Are you ready?” Louis called after he ended the call and went to put on his own shoes. 

 

“Yes!” She was looking beautiful in her blue floral dress, tights and little converse on her feet. Louis had been too nervous to make anything pretty with her hair and had decided on letting her pick one of her bow headbands. She already had her backpack on her back, ready to leave. With a soft smile, Louis took a quick picture of her and took her hand to get her to school. 

 

The school was a mess out of old students getting into class, new students looking around anxiously and excited with their parents taking pictures and looking for the right teachers. Louis was standing underneath an old tree, the meeting point they had agreed on with Abby. Abby would be Louis’ eyes during the school day, making sure Linnea was okay and carrying the emergency meds for his little girl. 

 

„Hey, Lin! Are you excited to go to school?” Abby asked once she had spotted them and came over. Linnea nodded. “They are meeting over there to go into class.” Abby told Louis pointing to a place next to the school building where a lot of kids were standing. 

 

“Alright. Come here, squirt.” Louis crouched down to hug his daughter. “Have fun today, yeah? Abby will stay with you and if you need me Abby will call me, okay? I love you.” Linnea hugged him back for a second, eager to start school. 

 

“Love you. Bye!” And she was running towards her future classmates. Louis stood still for a second looking after her, being run over by his emotions. His little girl was officially a school girl on her way to be more independent. He pulled out his phone, texting Niall that he would be at the pub soon and then opened his thread with Harry. They had DMed so much over the last days that they stopped using Instagram and started using text messages. Louis wouldn’t necessarily call them friends but they were more than fan and Popstar at this point. 

 

_ Lin is in school. She seems to enjoy it, why is this the worst day of my life?!  _

 

With the message sent he got into his car to drive over to Niall’s to not be alone for the time he had to wait to pick up his little girl again. 

 

*

 

“And they let us write our names! Some needed help that was okay, Miss Sophie said. And then we got a letter for our parents. And Liv has a dog at school! That’s so cool, can we get a dog, daddy? Liv’s name is Olivia but she told me her friends call her Liv and I am her friend.” The little girl couldn’t stop talking about how great her school day had been and now that Louis had her back in his arms he was glad to hear all about it. 

 

“What’s the letter, honey?” Linnea grabbed it out of her backpack and kept on telling Niall about her day. Her uncle had accompanied Louis in picking her up and had gone home with them. Louis had to read the letter twice before he really understood what it said. 

 

“Lin, did they talk to you about this?” He asked and his daughter nodded. 

 

“We all get ukuleles from school and learn Harry’s songs and when he sings for us we can play for him. Maybe we’ll learn Kiwi!” 

 

“Wow, Harry Styles is singing for you?” Niall asked. Louis handed him the letter. 

 

“Apparently the school won a contest and the price was that Harry would give a concert in the winner schools town.” 

 

“And you didn’t know?” Niall asked, reading the letter. 

 

“No. But I never told him what school Lin was going to.” 

 

“Well tell him! You two have been texting nonstop. He’ll be in Doncaster, that’s your chance of meeting outside of the fan-Popstar-bubble.” Of course, Niall was right and Louis didn’t doubt that Harry would find the time to actually meet up with Louis. But Louis wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Texting was simple, he wasn't face to face with a Popstar but Harry who he told how his day was going. What if it would be weird to meet again? What if they could never be friends because Louis’ crush would always get in the way?

 

“Hey, stop it!” Niall was snapping his fingers in front of Louis’ face.

 

“Stop what?” Louis asked. 

 

“Overthinking everything! It’s really simple. For some reason Harry Styles wanted to stay in contact with you, you two have been texting nonstop for the last week and now he’s coming to our town for a concert. It’s time to meet up Louis. Fu- forget” Niall quickly corrected himself, remembering the small children ears in the room “your brain for a second and follow your heart for once.” 

 

“You’re talking like I’m meeting my online boyfriend or something.” Louis murmured.

 

“He could become your boyfriend.” Niall shrugged. 

 

“He's a freaking Popstar, Niall.” 

 

“And you’re a freaking tattoo artist.” Niall said. “What’s your point?” 

 

Maybe Louis was looking for excuses, maybe he had some real deep fears. Whatever it was he didn’t feel like dealing with them. 

 

“I’ll call him later and ask, okay? Now, how about we order some pizza to celebrate Lin?” The girls’ cheer was all the confirmation Louis needed. 

 

That night he got Linnea into bed around 7, cleaned the house a bit, took a shower and got comfy in bed before typing out a message to Harry. He reread the message a couple times before deleting the whole thing and press call. 

 

“Louis?” Harry sounded confused. None of them had ever called the other one so it wasn’t surprising to Louis. 

 

“What are you doing in two weeks?” He asked straight away. 

 

“Ehm … not sure. I would need to check my PR calendar.” Again, Louis was reminded how little he was jealous of Harry’s job. 

 

“I can tell you. You’re playing a concert for my daughters' school.” 

 

“Oh shit, she’s in the winner school?” Now all the confusion was gone and Harry sounded generously excited. 

 

“She is.” Louis chuckled. “So … is there any space in your PR calendar for me? I just thought after all the texting we’re doing it would be nice to meet up?” He was nervous asking. It wasn’t even like he asked him out but for some reason, it was nerve-racking to ask your somewhat online friend to meet. 

 

“Of course! I don’t know for sure what they have planned for me but you can definitely come to the concert! Backstage I mean. I always have some passes for friends.” Louis smiled at that. They were friends now apparently. “But I would love to meet.” 

 

“Yeah, me too. Lin would love a concert. She’s never been.” 

 

“Well, then it’s about time. I can get her one of those ear protection for kids. What’s her favorite color?” 

 

“Purple.” 

 

“I’ll make sure we have some purple ones then. Maybe you and I can go out after the concert? Is there anywhere we can go in Doncaster?” 

 

Louis sighed. “We have some pubs and bars but they will be filled with people after the concert. And I would need to find someone to babysit. Maybe let’s not make a plan just yet?” 

 

“Oh, okay.” Harry sounded as disappointed as Louis was feeling. But really, going out with Harry on the night of his concert in a small town like Doncaster wasn’t really realistic. 

 

“I’m still looking forward to seeing you.” Louis tried to cheer him up again.

 

“Yeah, me too. Talking was nice, I missed your voice. We should do this more often.” 

 

“Sure. I’m gonna sleep now, though. It’s late for the parents in this world and Lin will be up super early tomorrow. She’s still so excited about school it’s weird. She definitely doesn’t have that from me.” Louis laughed and Harry chimed in. After a quick goodbye, Louis fell into a peaceful sleep with a smile on his lips. 

 

*

 

“What do you mean I need to stay outside of Doncaster?” Harry was in a meeting, the last one regarding the winners' concert and had hoped to get time to actually see Louis and Linnea and not just have them backstage with him for maybe two hours while he had to get ready. 

 

“Doncaster is small and they don’t have secure enough hotels for you to stay at. So, you’ll be staying in London. A driver will get you to the concert and back.” 

 

“Great.” Harry sulked. “Can I at least stay at my own flat?” He paid for it, might as well just stay there instead of yet another expensive hotel. 

 

“Sure. But we still want you to let a driver take you to and from the concert. It’s just safer. And I want Paul with you at all times.” It was normal for a concert day to have security with him and really it would be foolish to think he doesn’t need it. Some fans just don’t know what respect and privacy meant. 

 

“Sure. Do I get to stay a couple days in London?” Maybe he could meet up with Louis later. 

 

“I can give you two days but after that rehearsal for the next part of your tour starts.” 

 

“Cool, thank you.” The Meeting was wrapped up shortly after that and Harry left the building and took the elevator down to the underground parking where his car was parked. On his way down he typed yet another message to Louis. They had made it a habit to call each other every other day but still texted a lot, trying to get to know each other. 

 

_ Sooo apparently Doncaster isn’t safe and I have to stay in London. Will only be in Doncaster for the concert. BUT I’ll stay in London for two days. Maybe we can meet up in London? X _

 

It didn’t take long to get an answer but Harry was driving so he hurried back home before reading the message. 

 

_ Not safe? You mean all these ‘Harry Styles weekend’ activities planned could show how insane and not safe for a Popstar this town is? Yeah, i can see that xD  _

 

Harry couldn’t believe it at first when Louis had called him and read to him the article he had found on Facebook about all the things the town had planned for the Weekend of the concert. A small street festival, performances, decorations and Street Art. Louis might be right, it wasn’t hard to see why his team thought Doncaster wasn’t too safe. 

 

_ I would’ve liked to see all of that! It’s annoying that I can’t see what fans do for me because there are too many of them …  _

 

It had always been an up and down with Harry and his feelings towards fans. He loved them, would literally be nowhere without them, but sometimes they were a lot. 

 

_ I’m amazed that you can do this job without being on drugs 24/7. It must be a lot.  _

 

_ About London, neither my family nor Niall can babysit … which sucks.  _

 

Harry just couldn’t understand why Louis made such a big deal out of the babysitting thing. Linnea was six, he must have let her with someone that wasn’t him before so why was it so important that only his family got to watch her? 

 

_ You know there are actual babysitters out there. Whose job it is to look after people’s Kids. They even got a certificate! _

 

_ It’s not that easy. I need to know Linnea is safe.  _

 

Louis needed to let go is what he really needed to do. But Harry wouldn’t tell him that. Not this early on in their friendship and not before knowing the whole story. These trust issues must be coming from somewhere. Harry only wished Louis would trust  _ him  _ enough to let him in and tell him about it. 

 

*

 

“What are you doing? You wouldn’t have to come just to stare at your phone all the time. You could’ve just stayed at the parlor over your break.” Niall was about to snatch his phone out of his hands but Louis was quicker and put it in his pocket. 

 

“Do you think there are nannies specialist for epilepsy?” Louis asked. 

 

“Is this about meeting Harry again?” Louis nodded. 

 

“I really want to meet him in London. But my number one priority is Lin and what if some babysitter who doesn’t know what to do when she has a seizure will watch her when she has one? I wouldn’t forgive myself.” Louis sighed. “I’m a father before I’m me. She comes first. Always.” 

 

“You should tell Harry about her being an epileptic. I’m sure he would understand why you can’t just leave her with anyone. You’re doing good with her. You give her enough responsibility. But she’s a bit young to be left alone that’s true. Even though she hasn’t had a seizure in two months?” Louis nodded. 

 

“I’m so used to people turning their back on us when they realize that I don’t just have a kid but that it’s a bit more complicated.” 

 

“If Harry turns his back on you for who your daughter is he doesn’t deserve to be in your lives anyway. Lin’s not a criminal she’s simply born with a differently wired brain.” 

 

“I know that. It still hurts when you lose people you actually like because of it.” 

 

“Tell him! He might surprise you.” Niall urges him.

 

*

 

Louis had made it a habit to never put his phone on silent, especially not when his daughter was with someone that wasn’t their family or her uncles. Somehow he always expected the call about Linnea having a seizure and Louis needed to pick her up. He was in the middle of giving a young traveling girl her  _ live • love • laugh  _ tattoo when his phone rang, the schools' number on the display. 

 

„I’m so sorry, that’s my daughters' school.“ Louis apologized and put the tattoo gun down.

 

„No, it’s okay. I could use the break.“ Louis smiled at her. It was actually a fairly small tattoo but everyone had a different sensation of pain. 

 

“You’re doing great.” he told her and picked up the call. “Hello?” 

 

“Mr. Tomlinson?” A woman asked who Louis hadn’t talked to before. Maybe it wasn’t about his daughter after all. 

 

“Speaking.” 

 

“I would like to talk to you about the performance our kids are giving on the Harry Styles Concert weekend.” That didn’t seem to be as important as Louis would’ve thought. It really wasn’t professional to let his client just sit there while he talked about something like this. 

 

“Can we maybe do this later? I’m at work right now.” 

 

“I would love to talk about it now. We need to organize the weekend and still have a lot to do.” Louis wasn’t sure why the school was planning so much but it really wasn’t his concern. With a feeling that this lady wasn’t giving up he sighed and left the room for some privacy.

 

“Okay, how can I help you?”

 

“We had the kids color in pictures of ukuleles and write their names and messages for Harry Styles. We were hoping that we could get it to him but that turned out to be more difficult than we thought. But Linnea mentioned that you know Harry Styles? We thought that maybe you would be able to get the little present to him?” Louis couldn’t even be mad at his daughter for talking about Harry. She was six and she met Harry, now his daddy was talking to him regularly, sometimes with her too. He wasn’t a pop star to her but Harry. Louis just hoped this wouldn’t somehow backfire at her with kids that might be jealous. 

 

“I could, yes. I’m sure he would love to get a thoughtful gift like that.” 

 

“Oh, that’s great. Maybe the Friday before the concert when you pick up Linnea we could give you the presents?” Presents? What have they planned? Louis agreed to the plan and quickly ended the call to get back to his client. 

 

“Are you ready to continue?” he asked and picked up the tattoo gun again after changing his gloves. The girl nodded and obviously braced herself against the uncomfortable feeling, maybe - for her - even pain. 

 

*

 

Harry was waiting in a small conference room for the last interview for a while to start. His team had already talked to him about which questions would be asked and made sure Harry knew the right answers. It seemed a bit ridiculous to him that after years and years of media training he still needed to be reminded of each and everything before an interview. For now, he was simply waiting for the interviewer to arrive and kept himself busy with a Video Louis had sent him only minutes before.

 

It was a video of Linnea playing her little red ukulele and singing  _ Sweet Creature.  _ The video was only a couple seconds long, with a message from Louis right after he had sent the video.

 

_ She’s so excited about the weekend and the schools performance. I’m not allowed to let you hear the entire song but isn’t she cute??  _

 

Harry watched it a couple times. It wasn’t perfect and Linnea had made up some lyrics but Louis was right, it was really cute and the mental image of a bunch of kids playing and singing his songs warmed his heart. 

 

_ Sounds great! I can’t wait to hear the entire thing!  _

 

As usual, it didn’t take long for an answer to arrive.

 

_ But didn’t you hear? Harry Styles is not going to be there for the performance, his team has informed the school.  _

 

Harry rolled his eyes. Of course, they had decided to keep him away from everything that was being done for him. He understood it in a way - they just wanted to keep him safe. But from what Louis was telling him Doncaster was small, nothing like London and Harry had a feeling that he would be perfectly safe, walking around the town with just one bodyguard. 

 

_ But don’t worry! I’ll FaceTime you during the performance. It’s for you after all. You should see it!  _

 

Before he could answer the interviewer was entering the room, handbag over the shoulder and looking stressed. Harry put away his phone, not wanting to be rude and stood up to shake her hand. 

 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Harry.” He knew that the interviewer knew who he was, at least it would be good for her job when she knew who she is interviewing. But he had made the experience that many interviewers aren’t sure what to call him, Harry or Mr. Styles, so he had made it a habit to take that decision upon himself. 

 

“Nice to meet you, too. I’m Sam. So sorry I’m late.” Both took their seats and Harry waved her off while she got ready for the interview. 

 

“Take your time. I don’t have anything planned after this Interview.” She got her questions out and used her iPhone to record the interview before starting with the questions. 

 

“So Harry. You are in between Tours right now, right?” 

 

“It’s still the same tour, but yeah I’m on a small break. I did Europe and America and the rest of the world starts in a couple of weeks.” 

 

“Are you excited?”

 

“Of course! Touring is one of my favorite things about the Job. The feeling you have when you’re performing in front of so many people is something you can’t find anywhere else. On that stage, it’s like … no rules apply. You can completely let go.” 

 

“You make it sound as if you have found the dream job?”

 

“For me? Yes. The Job has it’s good and bad sides but for the most part, I want to do this until I die.”

 

“That’s good. I heard that you have one more concert before you start the tour again?” 

 

“I do. We hold a competition for schools to win a concert in their town. They had to send in videos of their students singing one of my songs. It wasn’t about being perfect but creativity and fun. Our winner school is in the U.K. but I won’t tell where. The concert is for this town and I don’t want it to be overshadowed by a lot of fans turning up.” 

 

“That’s a really nice competition. Are you looking forward to it?”

 

“Of course. Not only to sing for some special students but also to have the chance to visit my family again before I’m all over the world.” And Louis. He would see Louis again. Harry still had a small hope that Louis would hire a babysitter to meet him in London the day after his concert. It was less stressful to meet outside of one of their jobs. Sam asked him a couple more of the typical interview questions before wrapping it up. 

 

“One last question sent to me by a fan of yours. They want to know how you write songs when you have a deadline? She wants to work on her first EP but feels like the pressure is taking away her creativity and inspiration.” Harry thought about it for a bit. That had not been one of the normal questions and he didn’t have a ready to go answer for it.

 

“Well for me I’m writing songs all the time. Whenever I feel inspired I write down the lyrics. Sometimes it’s just that - a couple lyrics, but sometimes I write a song in a day. When I’m booked for writing sessions I use those lyrics and try to make something out of it. You need to find a way to forget about the ‘why’ and just write for fun. Or write about the pressure you’re feeling, that’s a good start!” 

 

*

 

Two days before the concert had Harry packing for his short stay in the U.K. He didn’t need much as he planned on relaxing a lot, only visiting his family as Louis was still set on not hiring a babysitter. For the concert, he would be dressed by his stylist anyways. That’s why it didn’t take him long to get his clothes in his Duffel Bag. Before Tour starts up again he would be back in L.A. to pack for real. He stopped being anxious or extremely nervous before a concert a couple years ago. Now all that was left was the feeling of excitement, this time a bit more than usual because he would finally see Louis and Linnea again.

 

As if he knew that Harry was thinking about him, Louis chose that moment to call him. Harry put him on speaker to still be able to pack. 

 

“Hey!”

 

“Hi! What are you doing?”

 

“Packing, why?”

 

“Oh, do you want me to call later?”

 

“You’ll be asleep later.” Harry laughed. They’ve gotten quite good with the time difference but Harry had more than once woken Louis up because he thought he would still be awake. He had learned from those mistakes. “What’s up?”

 

“I just … need to talk to you.”

 

“Okay, talk then.”

 

“No, I mean face to face. I was hoping we could maybe meet before the concert? At yours? I would invite you to mine but I think I can guess what your team thinks about that.”

 

“Oh! Ehm yeah, you could totally come to mine. When were you thinking?”

 

“Tomorrow? You’ll be here, right? I just need to talk to you about this thing and I don’t want it rushed which will probably be the case if we do it at your concert.”

 

“Yeah, but I will be landing only around 5.”

 

“That’s fine! I have work and Lin has school so five works. Maybe just for an hour or two. We would take the train and I need Lin actually awake on Saturday to play you a song.” Louis laughed.

 

“Great. I’m looking forward to it.”

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

*

 

Louis was a nervous wreck on Friday, sure that most of his customers that day were a bit wary about him and he was glad he didn’t have anyone come in with a first tattoo. Even Rosa asked on several occasions if he was okay and if he wanted her to cancel the appointments to go home. In the end, he got through all of his appointments, packed a little snack for him and his daughter to eat on the road and the small bag with toys Linnea had packed before school, picked his daughter up and was on his way to London to meet his Popstar friend. 

 

Over the last weeks, he got to know Harry Styles as just Harry. And he liked just Harry. The person meeting him tonight was just Harry. But he couldn’t ignore the voice in his head telling him that he was meeting up with a Popstar, someone he liked for quite a while - even though for different reasons - and that he might rather hang out with his Hollywood friends. The nervous feeling in his tummy wouldn’t disappear but he felt calmer once both Tomlinson's were actually in their seats on the train and for the next thirty minutes he couldn’t do anything but sit there and try not to think too much about it. 

 

“Daddy, can I go play with Liv tomorrow? After we singed?” Linnea was asking her father without looking at him, too amazed at the world flying by outside her window. 

 

“We are going to see Harry after you sang, squirt.” Louis told her softly. His daughter turned to look at him with wide eyes. 

 

“But we’re seeing Harry right now?” 

 

“We are. But tomorrow we are going to visit Harry at work. He can show us where he sings and we can be backstage with him and meet lots of fun people.” Linnea thought about that for a second.

 

“Can Liv come, too?” she asked.

 

“No, baby. It’s just you and me. But I will talk to her mother tomorrow and we can see if we find a date for you two to play, okay?” Linnea nodded. 

 

“We can play with Max! That’s her dog. He’s so cute and good! Can we get a dog? One just like him.” 

 

“What’s he like then?” Louis asked smiling.

 

“He helps Liv when she’s gone.” Louis didn’t know that. Linnea had started early on to call her seizures ‘being gone’ mostly because she couldn’t remember what happened during the episode and the word seizure was too big for her young age. The father had known that the school was familiar with epilepsy, one reason why he wanted her there. But he hadn’t known that Linnea’s friend was epileptic as well. 

 

“Can he tell when she has a seizure?”

 

“I think? But he keeps her safe. This week we were on the playground during recess and Liv was gone for a bit. I didn’t touch her, because I know I shouldn’t be touched when I’m gone. But before my teacher could come over, Max lay under Liv’s head and she didn’t hurt herself!” That actually sounded like the type of pet that would ease Louis’ mind somewhat. Yet, something in his daughters' words made him think.

 

“Do you not feel safe? Do you feel like you  _ need  _ to have a Max to keep you safe?” he wanted to know.

 

“I’m okay. My friends and my family can keep me safe. But sometimes I want to go play without you and my dog can come with me then.” The time had come that Louis was more or less forced by his daughter to let her be independent and it was hard. 

 

“A dog is a lot of work and costs a lot of money, Lin. We can’t get a dog right now. But I’ll think about it, okay?” he cuddled her close and kissed her head before releasing her. Linnea nodded and looked back out of the window. 

 

“Can I dance on Harry’s stage?” she asked out of nowhere and Louis chuckled. 

 

“You can ask Harry that later. It’s not long now until we’re there.” 

 

It wasn’t a secret where Harry lived, but he made sure to not tell anyone that he was coming to London so there weren’t any fans waiting when the taxi Louis had called stopped in front of the gates. From the outside, you couldn’t see much of the house, a tall brick wall surrounding it. It did give him the privacy he desperately needed when he was at home, Louis thought. 

 

“Why is Harry living in a castle?” Linnea asked, head thrown back to look at the house in front of her, hand in her fathers. 

 

“It’s just his house, Lin. A lot of people like Harry and his music and sometimes they follow him home. This keeps him safe.” Louis let Linnea press the doorbell and pointed to the small camera. Linnea grinned and waved at it, surely Harry had seen her because seconds later the gate opened. Harry was waiting for them in his doorway, a small driveway leading up to it. Next to the house, Louis could see a garage, big enough to fit multiple cars into. He wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. 

 

“Hey!” Harry was smiling widely at them and it hit Louis that the voice he was talking to and the person he was texting with was, in fact, one very famous Harry Styles. Even though this Harry didn’t look much like a famous superstar, in his joggers and t-shirt. It wasn’t logically but for some reason, Louis felt himself blush and getting shy. His daughter not so much. 

 

“Hi Harry!” she ran up to him and hugged the living daylights out of him, much like the first time the two had met. “I love your castle! A dog could run around all day!” she told him happily.

 

“Lin, we are not getting a dog!” Louis approached the two now as well and smiled shyly at Harry. 

 

“Hey.” both men were just looking at each other for a moment, not saying anything. “Why is this weird? It’s weird, right?” Louis asked quietly. 

 

“Let’s not make it weird. Just Louis and Harry, yeah? The same people that have been talking and texting for weeks.” Harry told him softly and Louis nodded. Right. “Do you want to see the castle from inside, Linnea?” the little girl nodded and happily took Harry’s hand and walked inside with him. At times Louis was proud and thankful that his little girl was so open to everyone and would have no problems making friends. At other times it was worrying how trusting she was. 

 

Harry’s house was a lot less than Louis had expected. The man had money coming out of his ass and still, he had a fairly small, homey house. As homely as a house can be when you’re not there very often. Family members were in pictures on the walls, the kitchen was actually filled with food and every room they visited had seemingly actually used furniture in them. Nothing like Louis had imagined.

 

“Daddy, imagen -”

 

“No.”

 

“But, daddy.” Linnea whined.

 

“Linnea, we talked about it. I will think about it, but we are not getting a dog now or anytime soon. If you don’t stop I won’t even think about it.” 

 

“Fine. I’ll think about it then.” Louis didn’t even try to argue with a six years olds logic. 

 

“Why can’t she have a dog?” Harry asked. “It’s good for children to grow up with pets in the home.” Linnea was ready to jump in again but one look of Louis got her sitting down on the living room floor and pulling her toys out of her bag. 

 

“It’s kind of part of the conversation I wanted to have with you.” Louis sighed and waited for Harry to invite him to the sofa for them to have a conversation. 

 

“Is it something bad? You’ve got me worried since your call yesterday.” Harry asked, giving Louis all of his attention. 

 

“Really? Why?”

 

“I care about you.” Harry shrugged. “When something pulls you down it kind of puts a damper on me as well.” Wow. Louis was not used to words so kind from someone he basically just met. Hopefully, Harry really was the nice guy he seemed to be.

 

“Can you remember that? And tell yourself that again after I told you what I want to say to you?” Louis pleaded. Harry’s worried line between his brows only got deeper. 

 

“Spill it, Lou.” 

 

“You know how I don’t want to get a babysitter for Lin?” Harry nodded. “I’m sure you think I’m an overprotective parent that needs to relax and trust other people to look after their child for a couple hours. Maybe I am. But Lin … she had her first seizure when she was 5 months old. I was alone with her and even though I had an idea about what was happening, I didn’t understand it. In that moment I was so shocked that I couldn’t do much else than watch her, listening to her scream. It only lasted for about two minutes and afterwards I blamed myself for not calling the ambulance because I remembered my mom telling me about one of her patients in the hospital that had a big seizure and lost some pretty important brain cells during it, because nobody helped her.” Louis would never forget that day. “I got her to the doctors anyways and they diagnosed her with epilepsy. When she was younger and her meds hadn’t been in the correct dose she had a seizure once a week. We’re seizure free for almost three months now but it can happen at any time and I can’t have her with someone who doesn’t know what to do. She’s too young to go through it alone.” 

 

Louis couldn’t read the look on Harry’s face. It wasn’t the shock he had expected but it for sure wasn’t a welcoming face. 

 

“Now, would be a good time to remind yourself that you care about me.” Louis said quietly, looking down in his lap. 

 

“Why?” Harry asked with complete confusion on his face. “Why would I need to remind me?” 

 

“So, that you consider not kicking us out of your house?”

 

“Oh, Lou. You met a lot of shi- stupid people in your life, haven’t you?” There had been a small space between the two men but Harry closed that now to hug Louis. 

 

“I lost a lot of friends when I came back to the U.K. and wasn’t the party animal Louis that left but single dad Louis. Lost even more after her first seizure. Think a lot of them were afraid to do something wrong with her and not knowing what to do and decided to stay out of our lives to be safe.” 

 

“Like I said. Stupid people. You two are amazing and deserve a lot better than those idiots. But I don’t know what to do either and am planning on staying in your both lives. So, teach me. And don’t worry about babysitters. I get it. That first seizure must have been traumatic. For both of you.” 

 

“It was for me, yeah. They’re never easy. You can’t do much other than making sure that nothing lays around where she could hurt herself. Other than that it’s just waiting for it to stop. She does have emergency meds in case it goes over five minutes. The worst part is seeing her in pain and screaming and not being able to take that away from her. I’m not sure how traumatic it is for her. She always tells me that she can’t remember having a seizure. She can feel it coming sometimes but I’m not sure how much she actually feels during it.” 

 

“Thank you for telling me.”

 

“Thanks for not running away. I like you in my life.” Louis smiled gratefully at Harry.

 

“Daddy! Look, Polly is going to buy a dog!” Linnea walked her doll over the carpet to some imaginary pet store. Louis just groaned and rested his head against Harry’s shoulder. It felt natural and he felt much more relaxed in Harry’s actual presence that he had when they had first arrived. 

 

*

 

“Daddy, can you do my hair like Mommy did?” Linnea was already dressed in her favorite dress that she had picked herself for the Harry Styles Weekend Performance when she stood in the door to Louis’ bedroom with her brush and hair ties in her hand. 

 

“How has Mommy done it? She did a lot with your hair, honey.” Louis chuckled and finished putting on his black tank top. 

 

“The braids!” Louis nodded and sat down on his bed, patting his lap to get his daughter to sit on it. 

 

“Are you excited for today?” Louis asked when he started brushing his daughter's long hair. She nodded and then sat still when Louis started to braid her hair. 

 

“I practiced a lot. I hope Harry will like it. And we will get him his gift, right? Miss Sophie said we have to give back our ukuleles after the performance.” 

 

“I’m sure Harry will like it. I will film it for him so he can see you and your friends play for him. Your gift I have already packed. You can give it to him if you want.” Louis was quick with braiding his daughter's hair. She likes her long hair but wants to have something done with it most days. 

 

“Can we buy a ukulele? Miss Sophie won’t let us keep ours.” Louis knew that he also knew that Linnea loved playing her instrument and had let it slip during one of the many phone calls with Harry. 

 

“If we find a nice one you like we can get one. But we’re not looking for one today.” He quickly added, knowing that Linnea couldn’t wait whenever something exciting was going to happen. 

 

“Can we play the songs again? To be sure I can do it?” Louis nodded, ready to do anything to ease his daughters' nerves. He had learned to play the guitar during high school and had enjoyed playing with his daughter over the last weeks. It was something he was looking forward to be doing more in the future. 

 

They sat opposite to each other on the sofa Louis with his guitar on his lap, Linnea with her ukulele in her arms. Linnea counted to three and they started playing  _ sweet Creature  _ together. It was far from perfect but it brought a smile to Louis’ face. Linnea made them play the song three more times before Louis told her that they needed to leave if they wanted to be there on time. 

 

He could tell that his little girl was nervous, as she was holding his hand the entire time and only spoke to him when she was asked something. It would be the first time for her performing in front of an audience. They couldn’t miss the street festival that was happening in the town center. Fairy lights in every color hung on the walls, music was playing through speakers that were positioned at every other corner, food trucks were selling Harry inspired food and in the middle of it all was a stage were currently some merchandise was given away. 

 

“This is crazy.” Louis said more to himself than anything else and took out his phone to make a quick video of his surroundings before sending it to Harry. 

 

“Daddy there’s Liv.” Linnea pulled her father towards her friend, this time with no dog but her mother. 

 

“Hi, Lin!” Liv greeted her friend, ukulele tight in her arms and just as nervous and Linnea.

 

“Hey, I’m Louis.” Louis introduced himself to both, Olivia and her mother. 

 

“Mary, nice to meet you.” The parents followed their kids towards the stage where they would be performing in a few minutes. Once they were sure that both were safe with their teacher, Louis also seeing Abby in the crowd of kids they discussed a playdate for their daughters. 

 

“She’s really excited to meet with Linnea.” Mary told him, watching as all the students lined up to walk on stage.

 

“Yeah, Lin as well. She wanted to play with her after this. Are you guys not going to the concert?” 

 

“No, I need Livvy to be in bed at the same time each night. It will prevent her from getting seizures.” And Louis thought he was the overprotective parent. 

 

“Surely one night wouldn’t make much of a difference?” 

 

“Maybe not, maybe it will start a seizure. I don’t want her out this late. But they can play together next weekend.” Louis didn’t try to argue. He knew the fears she must have and wouldn’t want anyone talking into his fears. At least not a stranger. 

 

“I’ll ask her if she wants to and that we can talk about a time.” Louis agreed and pulled out his phone and started to record as the kids were about to perform. He had wanted to FaceTime Harry but then Briana and his family told him that they wanted to see the performance and it was just easier to film and then send it to all of them. 

 

Linnea was looking so grown up on that stage and when all the kids started to sing together it brought tears to Louis’ eyes. He could see the exact moment that Linnea got comfortable on stage and that light returned to her eyes, smiling brightly at her father. This would forever be an important moment for Lin he was sure about that.

 

After the performance and them giving back their ukuleles, Louis bought Linnea a Harry snack before they made their way over to the arena where the concert would be. Some of the older fans who desperately wanted to stand in the first row were already lining up. Louis texted Harry that they had arrived and moments later he got the directions to some backstage entrance and with backstage passes around their necks they were led to Harry.

 

“Did you see me play?” was the first thing Linnea asked when she threw herself in Harry’s arms. 

 

“I did! It was so good!” He told her enthusiastically and hugged her tight. It was nice seeing his daughter so at ease with someone who Louis liked in his life and who didn’t plan on leaving them.

 

“I practiced a lot and Daddy helped and now I played on a stage and want to do it again and again!” He had to see if he could get her in some ukulele lessons. 

 

“Being on a stage is fun, right?” Harry had sat down on the couch in his dressing room, with Lin on his lap. Louis simply sat down next to them, giving Harry a smile in greeting, not wanting to disturb their moment.

 

“So much! But I can’t go on stage again. Miss Sophie took our ukuleles.” Linnea told him sadly.

 

“Yeah, Daddy told me about that. And look what I found.” Harry stretched to get something next to the couch and came up with a gift bag.

 

“For me?” Linnea asked with wide eyes. Harry nodded and urged her to open her present. Inside she found a brand new ukulele, white with pink flowers. “Ah! This is so cool!” She screamed and Louis winced at the volume.

 

“What do we say, Lin?” Louis asked her gently and his daughter immediately threw her hands around Harry’s neck. 

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

 

“You’re welcome.” Harry laughed and returned the hug.

 

“Oh!” Linnea suddenly remembered. “I have a gift for you! Daddy, can I have it please?” Louis nodded and handed the bigger gift bag to his daughter. Under the watching eyes of Linnea he opened his gift. First was a self-made book with a bunch of colored in ukuleles.

 

“All my friends at school and me made it.” Linnea told him and looked with him through the drawings until they reached her own. “This is mine.”

 

“It’s very pretty, thank you.” 

 

“There’s more.” She pulled the gift bag closer and Harry pulled out the larger item - a blue ukulele with all the signatures of every kid that had performed today. “You can use it for new music!” 

 

“You know what? I might actually do.” Happily, Linnea cuddled into Harry’s chest and Louis finally got to greet him.

 

“Hey.” He grinned.

 

“Hi.” Harry grinned right back. “Thanks for the videos. It looked like a lot of fun.”

 

“If you forget why they’re doing it, yeah.” Louis laughed. “It’s a bit crazy. You should run out of here before they find you.” 

 

“Nah, I’m good. I actually like it here.” Harry smiled softly at Louis with a look so intense that he had to look away.

 

“Who wants to see the stage?” Harry called out, getting Louis out of his embarrassment.

 

“Me!” Linnea immediately cheered.

 

“Alright.” Harry got up and put Linnea on her own two feet. “Safety first, I got you some ear protection for the concert to not hurt your ears.” He handed the headphones to Linnea who put them around her neck. “And now we’re ready to go!”

  
  
  
  
  


“And this is where I will sing tonight.” The town had done a good Job with the makeshift stage. Doncaster didn’t have a concert arena but a football arena that was big enough to hold a concert. They had somehow managed to put a stage on the grass and make it happen to fit all of Harry’s fans into the arena. 

 

Linnea was walking onto the stage with big eyes. She had never been to a concert. The entire concept was something she had to grasps. Stage workers were setting up the bands instruments and greeted the young girl when she followed their every move with her eyes. The electricians were working on sound and lights.

 

“You made her pretty happy with tonight. This entire day … it will probably be one she will never forget.” Louis was standing at the side of the stage with Harry, not leaving Linnea out of his sight. 

 

“And you? Are you happy to be here?” Harry asked. Louis was still feeling a bit nervous around Harry but felt more comfortable the more he talked to and was around Harry. 

 

“Very. I actually wish we could meet up in London again. Without all of this craziness.” Louis was pointing at everything that was going on around them, people looking busy and important with headsets and clipboards everywhere. “Not that I don’t like it! It’s cool to see the behind the scenes of a concert. But you´re working, yeah? Meeting with both of us actually having time would be nice. And that dog crazy girl not yelling about dogs every five minutes.” 

 

“Hey, it’s okay. No need to defend yourself. I get it, you have a daughter and she is your number one priority. Honestly, it would be the same for me if I had a kid. I’m just glad you two are here tonight.” Harry squeezed Louis’ arm. “And what is it with her obsession with dogs?”

 

“Her friend has one. She had a seizure in school and her dog is trained to keep her safe, basically, he plays pillow for her during a seizure so that she can’t hurt herself. Lin loves animals but I think this is so important for her because she knows it will give her independence I can’t give her right now. But dogs are a lot of work and expensive, especially service dogs, so it’s not happening anytime soon.”

 

“Daddy!” Linnea screamed over the stage and jumped up and down. It didn’t take long for Louis to figure out why she was screaming and laughing and jumping. 

 

“Sorry, but I can’t let her down on our daddy-daughter-dance.” Louis grinned at Harry and stepped up to Linnea on the stage.  _ Shut up and dance  _ was blasting out of the speakers and the Tomlinson’s danced wildly to the song, Louis singing most of it but letting Linnea have her parts - just like it always had been, ever since Linnea had figured out some of the lyrics. Music had always been important to Louis and he had made sure that his daughter was growing up with Music around her, decided that having a dance party every other day ever since she could stand on her own was a good way of bringing music to her. As it turned out, it had been the right way to go. 

 

“If I’m ever in need of a background dancer I know who I’ll call.” Harry laughed, coming onto the stage and giving Linnea a high-five. 

 

„Can I? I can make up dances to all of your songs and dance for you!“ Linnea told him excited.

 

„Why don’t you think of dances and then show me, yeah?“ Harry asked and smiled at Linnea’s excitement.

 

„And you,“ He turned to Louis „have a nice voice.”

 

“Oh stop it. This isn’t a cheesy rom-com were the ordinary guy suddenly sings duets with the famous Popstar. Don’t even think about it!” Louis pointed his finger at Harry with a playful glint in his eyes. Laughing Harry raised his hands.

 

“Still.”

 

“Harry? We need you backstage, dear. We’re about to let the fans in.” One of the important looking ladies told the singer and he nodded and thanked her. 

 

“C’mon Lin! We’re going backstage with Harry.”

 

“So, ehm … you already have your ear protection, Linnea.” Harry told the little girl before looking at Louis. “But I bought them already before you told me about her epilepsy yesterday. I looked it up this morning, you know? And it said that flickering light can start a seizure? I don’t know what classifies as flickering light but maybe we have that at my show? So, I thought you could watch from the green room? But that would be on a TV. Or you could watch from backstage, next to the stage? The lights shouldn’t be too bad from there. Of course, you can go into the family area in front of the stage, I just thought-” Harry’s rambling was cut short but Louis standing in front of him and hugging him close. 

 

“Thank you for researching. I promise you I will tell you everything about Lin’s triggers and answer all your questions when we have more time. But thank you so much for caring.” 

 

“I told you I care.” Harry shrugged. 

 

“Lin, do you want to watch Harry on stage or on a tv? It’s up to you, baby. Think the lights should be alright as long as Harry isn’t trying to light a techno concert.” Louis grinned up at Harry. He had watched concert videos before, knew his album. The lights couldn’t be too bad or triggering for his daughter. 

 

“Can we stay backstage, Daddy? Liv will be so jealous if we do!” Linnea told them excitedly.

 

“We can go backstage, but it’s not nice to make someone jealous on purpose, Linnea.” Louis told her and got her to keep moving, wanting to get Harry backstage before the three of them would stress out the poor lady more than they were already doing. 

 

“I’m just living my life, Daddy! It’s her who has those feelings!” Linnea shrugged and Louis could see Harry’s back shaking, laughing silently. Smiling Louis simply followed the singer. This friendship started to be really nice, even in person.


	2. Ch.02 - I can only take you in small doses, small doses (Loving you, it's explosive, you know this)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm falling asleep writing this so ... enjoy and keep the mistakes. xx

**Ch.02 -** **I can only take you in small doses, small doses (Loving you, it's explosive, you know this)**

 

_ Small Doses - Bebe Rexha (All Your Fault Pt.1; 2017) _

 

_ _

 

„...and all your little things.“ the sound of guitar and ukulele stayed for a second after father and daughter finished singing yet another song of Harry’s. Linnea used nothing in her room as much as her ukulele ever since Harry gave it to her almost three weeks ago. But she refused to sing anything different than Harry’s discography.

 

„Oh, that sounded nice.“ Louis smiled and Linnea nodded. 

 

„We should show Harry! Next time he Skype-faced!“ That was a thing ever since the singer had gone back on tour. Harry gave his all to this friendship and seemed to try everything to show Louis that he won’t leave. They figured out the time difference for each of the countries he would be in so that they could talk almost every day. Linnea was thrilled to see Harry on her daddy’s phone all the time.

 

„You’re ready for that?“ Louis asked and put his guitar to the side. Ever since Louis told Harry about his sessions with Linnea he wanted to hear them sing together but Linnea refused until she could play a song to perfection.

 

„I can all the words and I didn’t miss a chord today! Tell him next time he calls I’ll give him a concert on my Harry ukulele.“ 

 

„Alright.“ Louis laughed and took out his phone to text Harry just that before getting up from the couch. „Do you want some lunch? Leftover tacos?“ Linnea nodded and Louis got to work. It wasn’t long before Linnea came after him into the kitchen.

 

„Can we call Mommy, too? So that I can sing?“ 

 

„Sure.“

 

„And uncle Zayn and my aunties?“ she kept going with excited eyes.

 

„You’re getting quite the list their know, baby. You should just organize your own concert and invite everyone.“ Louis laughed.

 

„Like Harry!“ Linnea exclaimed. „Can we? All my family can come and Mommy can bring uncle Zayn and Harry can come and uncle Niall! I need to make concert tickets!“ 

 

„Okay, Popstar, calm down. We can invite everyone and you can make concert tickets but first lunch.“ Linnea sat down in her seat but was only half focused on her food.

 

„I can sing in the arena!“ 

 

„I don’t think they would let us in there. How about we build you a stage in our living room, mhm?“ 

 

„We need a table with lots and lots of food like Harry has! But no fruit. Pizza! And cookies.“ 

 

„We better make a list, huh? With everything we need to buy and plan.“ Louis loved those projects with his kid. Linnea nodded seriously and put her plates in the sink before running off to her room, no doubt starting on her tickets. 

 

Louis used the quiet time to tidy up the kitchen and work on some new designs for his tattoo shop. The ones he liked the most he posted on Instagram with available times and prices before starting on dinner. Linnea must have a long list of guests if her long time in her room was any indicator.

 

He was just waiting for the water to boil when his phone binged, indicating an incoming FaceTime call. 

 

„Hey, Popstar!“ 

 

„Hey, what are you guys up to?“ Harry’s face wasn’t too clear but Louis could see the smile and relaxed look.

 

„Cooking dinner. Planning a concert. The usual.“ Louis grinned. 

 

„Linnea’s concert for me?“

 

„That was the idea but then her list of people who she wants to sing to grew and now we’re planning a living room concert for friends and family. She’s in her room for a couple hours now, crafting some concert tickets.“ 

 

„She’s so Sweet.“ 

 

„She really is. How about you? What time is it? You look too relaxed to be post-concert.“ Normally Harry would be hyper with adrenaline after a show.

 

„Yeah, I just finished soundcheck. Have about 30 minutes before they want me for meet and greets.“

 

“Did everything go okay?”

 

“Yeah… going to cover the chain tonight for the first time. We rehearsed that a couple times during soundcheck but it sounds really good.” 

 

“I’ll make sure to watch it on YouTube.” Louis smiled. His water was finally ready to add the pasta. 

 

“You could also come and hear it live in concert.” Harry shrugged. Louis sighed. It was something they talked about almost every time they talked. 

 

“I can’t just leave my work and pull Lin out of school just to see a concert in another state,” Louis told him.  _ Again _ . 

 

“Well, you wouldn’t just see a concert,” Harry mumbled. 

 

“I want to see you. But I can’t leave my life to do that.” 

 

“No, I know. Would just be nice to have you two backstage again.” It was at those times that Louis wondered if they were to attached after such a short period of time. “Anyway, what did you do today?” 

 

“Our life really isn’t that interesting.” Louis laughed. “I went to work, had a couple clients, played some music with Lin, planned a concert … nothing special.” 

 

“You don’t even know how special that is. My life and career are great but what I really want from time to time is your life. Doing everyday things.” 

 

“Oh, you can come over whenever you want and borrow my life. No biggie. I’m going to take a long nap during that.” Louis laughed. “Just maybe don’t do my job. I do have a reputation to lose.”

 

“Hey, I tattooed before!” Harry told him proudly.

 

“Really? What did you do?” Louis wanted to know and (Nudeln abgießen) before adding some sauce. He couldn’t be bothered to actual cook tonight. 

 

“Some small stuff on friends … some of mine I did myself.” 

 

“Why?” Louis laughed. 

 

“Dunno. Wanted to and a friend of mine had a tattoo gun. Just small things that seemed easy enough.” 

 

“Are you telling me that your tattoos don’t actually have a deep meaning?” Louis asked with a fake shocked look. 

 

“Some do. Most of them I just liked.” Harry shrugged. 

 

“I could send you so many websites about every tattoo you have and what they mean.” Louis set the table and put his phone against one of the water bottles that were standing on the table to have Harry as part of the dinner. 

 

“My fans think too much, I swear.” Harry laughed. “But I did think about getting new ones. Any chance you’d do them?” And in what world would Louis say no to see Harry.

 

“If you come by, sure.” 

 

“Harry, meet and greet starts in ten.” Some guy’s voice from Harry’s team could be heard. 

 

“Do you want to talk to Lin before you have to go?” Louis asked and Harry nodded. 

 

“Please!”

 

“Lin! Dinner’s ready!” Louis called in the direction of his daughters' room but got no answer. “How many concert tickets is she drawing?” 

 

“Be glad she isn’t watching tv all day.” Harry laughed. They had had a conversation before about how Louis couldn’t do this parenting thing without screen time but was glad that Linnea knew how to play with other things.

 

“Bet she comes running for you.” Louis mumbled and then called “Lin! Harry’s on the phone!” Seconds later her little feet were running towards the kitchen. “Told you.”

 

“Harry!” His daughter climbed on her seat to wave at Harry. 

 

“Hey, Lili.” Harry waved right back. Nicknames are a new thing with Harry and Linnea hadn’t liked it too much that Harry chose a ‘completely new name’ for her. But once she realized that Lili was a flower as well, she loved her ‘special Harry name’. 

 

“I learned how to play little things! And I want to show you but you will have to come to my concert.” Linnea told him excitedly.

 

“Of course I’ll come to your concert! Where do I get a ticket?” Louis loved him for being this engaged in Linnea’s plans. Well, liked. He liked him for it.

 

“I’m making them. You can buy one for … three cookies.” Louis looked at his daughter with raised eyebrows but didn’t say anything. They hadn’t talked about this part before.

 

“Three Cookies, okay. And can I buy a backstage pass as well? So that I can wish you good luck before your show?” 

 

“Oh, I will have to make one. And one for daddy.” 

 

“How much will that cost me?” Harry asked.

 

“Mhm … two more cookies. But they have to be chocolate chip cookies.” 

 

“Okay. How about you keep my tickets safe and the next time I see you I will pay for them and you can give them to me.” Linnea nodded happily and ate her pasta. 

 

“I’ll text you later and we can figure out a time and date for her concert. One that works with yours.” Louis said just when another - or maybe the same - team member appeared on his display, getting Harry to start the M&G.

 

“I have to go back to work. I’ll talk to you tomorrow!” And after one final goodbye the call ended, everyone happy to have had some time together. 

 

*

 

The sound of fans talking, music playing and feet on the floors was deafening when Harry left the stage, pulling his in-ears out and was lead to his dressing room. There had been a time where he would go right to his tour bus but with the new highly expensive designer suits everyone was happy with letting him change at the arena. His time frame to do so was only about ten minutes but that was all he needed to change into some joggers, t-shirt, and sneakers. 

 

Paul by his side made sure that he got safely in the car waiting for him, more bodyguards were with his band that was staying at a different hotel. At as soon as the car door was closed the silence was maybe more deafening than all the noises only minutes before. His mind was still racing, adrenaline still rushing through his blood. 

 

But he knew it would only take an hour and he would fall asleep, completely exhausted. The drive to his hotel wasn’t far and as fans were just leaving the arena nobody tried to stop their car. Harry was grateful for that fact. He could do with some peace after a concert. 

 

Paul accompanied him all through the garage door and up to his hotel room before actually leaving Harry alone, for the first time in hours. He was a social person, loved having people around him, but every now and then he just needed some quiet time. Back in his hotel room, he closed all the curtains - he had to learn the hard way how little respect of privacy some people had - and got naked before taking a hot shower. 

 

His peach shampoo was something he treasured and it was those small things that brought something like home into his hectic and anonymous tour life. After a long shower and his skin care routine - all that stage makeup wasn’t helping his skin - he fell into bed. Like most nights he was drained and his tiredness caught up with him. 

 

He sends a quick  _ goodnight  _ text to Louis, answered a text from his sister and put his phone on the bedside table to cuddle down in the sheets. Tour life could be really lonely and this was one of those lonely nights. All he wanted was Louis by his side and having Linnea run around the room with all the energy that seemed to be too much for her little body. He was attached to Louis he knew that but he wasn’t sure if Louis was just very friendly and clingy with all of his friends or if they both acted on feelings they hadn’t discussed. 

 

Normally Harry didn’t have a problem with asking what he wanted to know. But this was a question that could ruin a friendship or create a beautiful relationship. The right thing to do, for his own happiness and maybe for both of them, would be to ask Louis about his feelings. But for tonight Harry would cuddle his spare pillow, pretending it was someone else and let sleep take over. 

 

*

 

“How’s your boyfriend?” Niall asked. They were out with Linnea, the little girl running around on the playground and getting rid of her energy. 

 

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Louis argued.

 

“He calls everyday, he builds a relationship with Lin, he wants to know how to keep her safe - he’s basically your boyfriend.” 

 

“Niall, he’s a popstar.” Louis sighed.

 

“Louis, you need to stop to use that as an argument to not follow your heart.” Niall stopped them and sat down on a bench to have Louis’ full attention. 

 

“He can’t be what I need in a partner. It was hard to find anyone to date as a single dad. And it’s hard to be a single dad. If I want to have a partner again I need someone to rely on, someone that can take part in the parenting and that I can share my worrying with. Harry is on Tour all the time, he’s amazing, yes, but he can’t be that part for me.” 

 

“But he is! Maybe not in the way you pictured for yourself but as far as he can, he is. He cares for Linnea, he reads on how to keep her safe, he calls every day to be part of your life and know what’s going on. He makes plans to come and see you. Sure, he’s on tour and he might need to be in different cities for work, but as far as he can, he is what you need. I know it’s scary to be with someone this famous. But if it’s what will make you happy, then please Louis, go for it.” 

 

„I just don’t want to bring a boyfriend in Linnea’s life, only for us not to work out. She gets attached so easily, I don’t want to hurt her. Right now Harry is ‚Daddy’s friend‘ and that’s safe.“ 

  
  
„It’s safe for you, too. But by taking a risk you could have more. It possibly not working out has nothing to do with his job, Lou. You could be with a teacher or fellow tattoo artist and it couldn’t work out.“

  
  
„Love is fucking scary.“

  
  
„Date him. You don’t have to call him your boyfriend. Dating is for people to get to know each other and see if a relationship could work. You don’t have to tell Lin about it until you’re sure.“

  
  
„I should talk to him, don’t I.“

  
  
„If you want to be happy? Yeah, you should. You should also tell him that I want to meet your potential boyfriend.“

  
  
„Okay.“ Louis laughed.

 

“You’ll talk to him?”

 

“I’ll talk to him.”

 

“Soon?”

 

“We’ll see.”

 

“Louis!” Niall groaned but before Louis could answer he saw his daughter coming towards him with a sour look on her face. Olivia and her mother not far behind. 

 

“Are you done playing?” Louis asked, softly pulling his fingers through Linnea’s hair. The girl just shrugged and almost climbed into Louis’ lap. “Are you okay?”  Linnea sometimes felt funny before a seizure was starting if that was the case right now he wanted to know that.

 

“Thankfully she is, but something could have happened with her on her own.” Mary told him like she just saved his child.

 

“Excuse me?” 

 

“She was playing and you weren’t there. You wouldn’t have been there if she got a seizure.” Louis could handle parents that had different parenting styles. Even if he didn’t agree with them, he wasn’t really affected by it. But someone calling him a bad father? How does one respond to that? 

 

“I’m able to see the entire playground from where I’m sitting. And Mary, no offense, but if a seizure does start, it’s not stopping just because I’m there. If I get there three seconds later it won’t make a difference.” Louis didn’t want to ruin this friendship for Linnea but there was no way that this woman called him a bad parent and got away with it.

 

“You would help her through it every step of a seizure. And that’s what a good parent would be doing. Keep your daughter safe.” Mary didn’t wait for Louis’ response but left. And Louis just stared after her.

 

“She’s talking shit, you know that, right?” Niall asked Louis quietly, knowing how far Louis had come in his parenting. He had been crazy overprotective and clingy. That he could let her play with him sitting on the sidelines was a huge step. Niall didn’t want his friend to go back to old habits because of some lady’s bullshit opinion.

 

“Yeah...sure.” Louis said just as quietly. Niall didn’t really believe him.

  
  
  


Linnea was quiet for the rest of the day and Louis knew that he needed to leave her alone. She came 100% after him with her loud character and too much energy. But in times like this, he saw so much of Briana in their daughter. Ask her what’s wrong and she will shut down, give her some time and she will tell you all of her problems. 

 

That time came when Louis tucked her in, ready to go to bed himself. 

 

“Daddy? Is it bad to play alone? Mary said it’s dangerous.” She asked with big, thoughtful eyes.

 

“No, baby. Mary is scared. When you have a child, you start to worry the minute it’s born and won’t stop for the rest of your life. Mary is more worried than others and that makes her scared and she tries to keep others safe as well.”

 

“But you keep me safe. I don’t need her! You make sure I don’t run on the street, and tell me all the rules until I know them and make sure I don’t eat food that makes my throat swell up and when I’m gone you’re always there afterward to make me feel better. I don’t need Mary.” 

 

Louis fought back tears at his daughters' words. The time she spent silently he had time to think about what Mary had said, how much of that might be true. Hearing Linnea say that she thought of Louis as a safe person made him believe that he did something right. 

 

“I love you, Lin.” Louis kissed her forehead and got a  _ love you  _ in return before he left her room and went to his bedroom. Normally he waited for Harry to call him, it was easier with his schedule but with his conversation with Niall and what Mary accused him off, he clicked the call button before even checking the time. 

 

“Lou? Everything okay?” Harry sounded a bit confused and Louis couldn’t blame him. 

 

“Yeah … no, not really.” Louis sighed. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked immediately. 

 

“I need an honest answer, okay? Pretend Lin is your daughter. Would you let her play on a playground by herself and watch her from a distance or be with her all the time in case she gets a seizure?”

 

“Eh …”

 

“There isn’t a right answer, Harry. I’m not testing you, just tell me what you would do.” 

 

“Right now? Probably not letting her out of my sight. But that’s because I’ve read a lot about epilepsy and seizures and you told me stuff and I have these mental images that scare me shitless.” Yeah, okay. Louis gets that. “But the regional part of me knows that she should be independent and trusted and be on her own if she wants that. I think I could do that after I’ve seen a seizure. To get a reality to my mental pictures.” 

 

Maybe Louis had kind of tested him. If he let Harry into his life as more than his friend, he needed to know for sure that Harry was good not just to and for him but also to and for his daughter. And he really liked his answer. 

 

“That’s what I thought. I think I’m doing the right thing with giving her freedom.”

 

“What brought this on?” Harry asked.

 

“It’s stupid,” Louis sighed. He shouldn’t have doubted himself about how he raised his own child. 

 

“It’s not. I told you before if something gets you down it gets me down as well. So tell me.”

 

And Louis did. He told him all about their outing, Mary and Linnea’s reaction. 

 

“Please don’t doubt yourself because of someone else’s fears, Lou. You’re an amazing father and everyone who matters knows that.” Harry was so sweet and Louis secretly wished to be able to cuddle with him to get even more comfort. 

 

*

 

Harry was laying on his stomach on his bed, with his notebook in front of him. He wanted to write new Songs, his team wanted him to write new songs, but all he could think about was a little family in Doncaster. Something that always makes him happy at his own concerts were all the signs his fans made. So, instead of writing his next number one album, he looked up fan signs online to come up with a good one he could recreate for Linnea.

 

„Why do you need these again?“ Liam was on Facetime. He got his own share of fan signs which is why Harry needed him on this project.

 

„Linnea practiced my songs on her ukulele and instead of just playing it for me, Louis is organizing a concert for her. And I'm going to make sure this is the best day for her. So, as her number one fan, I need a cool sign.“

 

„That's actually sweet of you.“ Liam told him. Harry looked at him offended.

 

„Because I'm usually not?“

 

„No, you are sweet. And nice and kind. But you have to admit that when you like someone, you go a little crazy. It's nice to see you being done with that and actually getting to know them like a normal person.“

 

„Yeah, well … I'm not even sure if this is ever going to be anything more than friendship.“

 

„Why not? I thought you guys were at least dating by now. You're always talking to them.“ Liam looked actually confused.

 

„When I first met them I was attracted to Louis and I wanted to date him. But with getting to know him … I don't know, he is important to me now and I don't want to lose him or make it weird between us because I ask him out.“

 

„Ever thought about making it better in asking him out? I mean sure it's scary. Asking someone out is always scary. But it can end up in amazing things.“

 

„Can we just concentrate on a sign for Lin?“ Harry knew what he wanted and what he would need to do to get it. But that didn't make it any less scary.

 

„Sure. What about …. 'I'm missing my …. concert for this'“.

 

„That doesn't work the same way like graduations or whatever fans don't go to.“

  
  
  
  


Way later, after yet another successful concert, Harry was back in bed, staring at his phone. He, yet again, was missing a body next to his – preferably Louis'. And he knew that Liam was right. He should just go with what his heart wants. Harry typed a lot of different text messages

 

_ Wanna go to dinner with me next time we're both free? _

 

_ Hey Lou, just wondering how you would feel about a date? _

 

_ Are you free to talk right now? I want to ask you something. _

 

_ I really want to kiss you and hug you and cuddle you. _

 

Sighing he delete his fourth try on a text confessing his feelings and looked around his room, his eyes landing on his notebook. He should just write him a song. Maybe Louis would realize it's about him and talk to Harry about it. That would be romantic, right?

 

_ Hella Cute, Hella fine, be my Hella valentine _

 

Laughing to himself he let his phone drop next to him. He should just forget about this and wait for Louis to make a move. At least then he would know for sure that both men were on the same page here. But before he think that thought through his phone indicated a new text message. Opening the new message his heart stopped for a beat. Or several.

 

**_Louis_ **

_ How are you single _

 

Fuck. He had accidentally sent the message. Oh god, and what meant Louis' answer? What was the right thing for  _ Harry's answer!?! _ Panicking he didn't think of a lot of possibilities, knowing a long gap between texts would look suspicious and typed and send quickly.

 

**_Harry_ **

_ was hoping to change that with that txt _

 

Harry waited and waited for an answer. Long enough to believe that Louis simply deleted and blocked his number and officially moved him out of his life. He knew he shouldn't have asked. It had only taken eight words to ruin a great friendship. Harry felt like crying and screaming and banging his head against the next wall, all at the same time. That was until his phone rang …

 

*

 

Louis wasn't sure if he should laugh, cry or freak out when I got Harry's message. Was it a joke? Was it just a typical Harry text message that didn't make much sense but contained whatever went through Harry's brain at that moment? Did he actually mean it? Louis decided to play it safe with his answer but was left speechless with Harry's very obvious answer. Okay. So he didn't actually have to start the conversation like he had told Niall. Harry had done it for him and was on the same page as Louis when it came to feelings.

 

„Lin, I'll be back in a minute, okay? Daddy has to make a phone call. But read your pages and I'll ask you questions about it when I'm back, okay?“ He was supposed to help his daughter with her homework. That was what he had been doing before this mess of text messages. The only thing left was the pages Linnea had to read and she could do that by herself. There was no way that Louis could concentrate on anything until he had talked to Harry.

 

„Okay, Daddy.“ Linnea got comfortable with her book on her bed and Louis left her room and pressed the call button next to Harry's name on his way to the living room.

 

„'llo?“ Harry sounded a bit uncertain and to be fair Louis hadn't given him an answer yet.

 

„How do you expect me to be your valentine in late October?“ Louis asked with a smile, hoping Harry caught the light mood and relaxed.

 

„It's not that long until February.“

 

„Mhm … so did you ask me in advance?“ He was a little shit, not giving Harry a real answer, he knew that. But it was easier than coming straight to the point. His nerves were making him feel sick.

 

„No, I … I didn't even want to send you that text.“ Harry sighed. And okay, so Harry wanted someone else as his valentine?

 

„Oh.“

 

„No! I mean … I do want you to be my valentine. But that's not for another four months and maybe … ehm, you would want to go out with me before that?“ Louis had to bite down on his bottom lip to not squeal. The wide grin couldn't be hidden though.

 

„I'd love to, yeah.“

 

„Oh, good. I was so nervous to ask you.“ Harry laughed. He was way more relaxed, Louis could tell.

 

„Shouldn't have. Niall was bugging me for days that you were basically already my boyfriend and that I should finally talk to you about it.“

 

„I'm very glad that I accidentally send that message.“

 

„Me too. So, what does your popstar calendar say about a date?“ Louis asked.

 

„Would that date be in Doncaster? I'll be there for Lili's concerts but after that, I'm booked for some writing sessions in L.A. I know you don't want to travel, but -“

 

„No, ehm.“ Louis interrupted him. „I know I said that and I stand by it. But this isn't you being on tour, but you being home. And your home is in America. We both need to put effort in this, yeah? I can't expect you to come here all the time. Even though I probably won't be able to come a lot, 'cause it's expensive. Anyway, what about the next long weekend? I can bring Lin and she can stay with her mom?“

 

„Yeah, sounds great. But you know … I can pay for your flight.“ Harry sounded hesitant and Louis was glad he at least didn't expect him to be okay with it.

 

„I'll pay for it. But thank you.“

 

„Sure, let me know when that changes, okay? And I can't wait to see you.“

 

„Me neither.“ Louis smiled. „I text you later, yeah? I was in the middle of helping Lin with her homework.“

 

„Of course! You could've called later.“

 

„I really couldn't.“ Louis laughed and with a lighter heart and smile on his lips, he said his goodbye and went back to his daughter.

 

*

Unofficially dating someone sounded nice, especially because they could now text all those things to each other that they had felt could be too much before their talk, but the reality sucked. They had never talked about being exclusive and Louis couldn’t help himself but think with every new picture of Harry online, was he seeing that person he was with? Louis was jealous, always had been, and sometimes that jealousy took over and made his rational thinking part of the brain shut down. It didn’t help that after a month of this maybe dating they still hadn’t actually been out on a date. And the first time they would see each other would be tonight at Linnea’s small concert - with all of Louis’ friends and family around them. The tattoo artist was probably more nervous than his daughter. 

 

“This looks so cool! You’re the bestest Daddy ever!” Linnea exclaimed after they turned their living room successfully into a concert arena. Louis had put a blanket in their door frame, leading to the small hallway that connected bathroom, bedroom and Linnea’s room with the rest of the house, to give her the VIP area she wanted. Their couch table was put in front of it, with a tablecloth on it, that would work as a stage. They had found some foil balloon letters at the dollar store and bought enough to spell out ‘LINNEA’ over the makeshift stage. The little girl had also brought her two beanbags and helped Louis move their couch to get everyone seated in front of the stage. 

 

The kitchen table had been moved to the living room and was loaded with sweets and soda and whatever Linnea had fancied at the grocery store. The pair had also made some pizza that was currently in the oven to stay warm. Louis wanted his daughter to be happy and have a great day, but part of him - the jealous part - also wanted to show Harry how fun it was with them. To always chose this over some model and expensive champagne. 

 

“We did a good job, didn’t we?” Louis smiled and took some pictures on his phone. This was just like Linnea’s new shoes - he liked to brag on Instagram when he felt he did something really good in fatherhood. 

 

“Daddy, I have your Pass! And Harry’s.” 

Linnea had two black paper passes with glittery 'VIP' on it in her hands. She even remembered that their passes at Harry's show had a lanyard and used some kind of yarn so that Louis and Harry could put it around their necks.

 

„Thank you. I will make sure that Harry gets his.“ Louis took his and put it around his neck, putting Harry's in his back pocket for safe keeping.

 

„And his ticket!“ Linnea gave him another piece of black paper, this time with a glittery 'LINNEA' written on it. „But he has to give you the cookies first!“ Laughing Louis nodded.

 

„You did really good with these.“ Louis praised and Linnea smiled widely. Their moment was over when their doorbell rang.

 

„Oh! I need to go to my room. Call me when everyone is here!“ Linnea hurried behind the 'curtain' to her room.

 

„Do you want Mommy in there?“ Louis called after her.

 

„Just Harry! Mommy is not VIP!“ Laughing to himself Louis went to let their guests in. Linnea had always been focused on one obsession at a time but it had never been this extreme. He kind of enjoyed it, though. When the doorbell rang again Louis hurried to put Harry's ticket in his pocket and opened the door.

 

„Took you long enough.“ Niall grinned and made to go past Louis.

 

„Ah! I have very strict instruction to not let anyone in that doesn't have a concert ticket.“ Niall looked at him for a minute before searching his jacket pockets for the piece of paper Linnea had given him weeks ago.

 

„You guys are pretty serious about this, huh?“ Niall grinned. „Where's the superstar then?“ he asked after Louis finally let him inside.

 

„In her dressing room.“ Louis pointed behind the 'curtain'. „And only VIPS can go in there.“

 

„You have way too much fun with this.“ Niall laughed. Before Louis could answer the doorbell rang again, this time with Briana and Zayn. Louis had met Zayn when he was in College in America and the three of them had been attached by the hips.

 

„Hey! It's good to see you guys.“ with kisses on the cheek Louis welcomed his old friends and almost forgot to check and rip their tickets before letting them in.

 

„Oh wow. I did not expect this.“ Brianna laughed once she saw their living room.

 

„It's cool, though.“ Zayn agreed. It didn't take long for his stepdad and siblings to arrive after them and once everyone was in the living room, with food on paper plates, Louis started to get anxious. The only person missing was Harry and Louis was so nervous for him to meet everyone important in his life, but also nervous about how they will act towards someone they see regularly on TV and magazine covers.

 

„So, Louis. How come I had an NDA to sign in my mail?“ Fizzy asked. Louis probably should've told them about Harry coming … or the situation between them.

„Ehm … well.“

 

„We know it's about Harry. His name is in the NDA.“ Lottie said. Louis knew that his sisters were just teasing but he didn't know what to say to that. Harry is my friend and he's coming? Linnea wanted Harry here? We might be dating and I wanted to see him? Louis didn't know. And normally he couldn't bite his tongue.

 

„Wow.“ Phoebe chimed in. „You're out of words. Is it serious?“ Cool. They were already convinced that they were dating.

 

„I don't know what it is. We agreed to go on a date, but haven't yet because of his tour and … just be nice, please?“ Louis almost begged.

 

„'Cause we are.“ it was a bit concerning that his five-year-old sister told him that, probably not even understanding why she was supposed to be nice. But before Louis could beg his family not to fuck this up for him the doorbell rang again - no doubt with Harry on the other side. 

 

He looked tired but happy to be here, duffel bag over his shoulder and piece of paper in his hand. Louis couldn’t stop staring. Harry looked good, the sun in the various countries he had been to had given him a lovely tan and he looked so comfortable and at home with his oversized jumper and skinny jeans. 

 

“Don’t forget his ticket!” Niall called from the living room, still not over the fact how serious Louis took this concert thing. But it got Louis out of his bubble. 

 

“Right. Hi!” Louis felt stupid for just standing there and went right in to hug Harry and kiss him on the cheek. Or was that too friendly? Should there have been a kiss? Harry seemed to have the same thoughts and in the end, it was just an awkward mess out of arms and lips. 

 

“Hey. It’s so good to be here.” Harry grinned but Louis could see that he was unsure, he had that look in his eyes. 

 

“Lin is very strict about admission.” Louis said, trying to get them back to being comfortable around each other. Harry was supposed to be spending the night. It shouldn’t be this awkward. He pulled the ticket and VIP pass out of his pocket and handed them to Harry. With a playful look in his eyes, he put the yarn around his neck and followed Louis to the living room. 

 

“Everyone, this is Harry. Don’t be weird.” Louis introduced him and then went to tell him who’s who, sure that Harry wouldn’t remember anyway. 

 

“What’s that?” Zayn asked and nodded towards the piece of paper Harry was carrying. 

 

“Oh! One of my favorite things about my concerts are the signs fans bring to the show. I thought it would be nice to bring one for Lin. Make it authentic.” 

 

“Louis, you need to keep him.” Briana stage whispered and Louis was happy that she could see that Harry made an effort with their daughter. She was in no position to tell him how to live his life but they had to be on the same page when it came to parenting and close people in Linnea’s life.

 

„Lin‘s also waiting for you.“ Louis took Harry’s hand and walked through their makeshift VIP entrance to his daughters' bedroom. 

 

„Look who I found!“ he sing-songed and let Harry into the small room. 

 

„Harry! You came!“ Linnea threw herself into the singers' arms. 

 

„Of course! I wouldn’t miss your concert. And I have your payment.“ He pulled a box of chocolate chip cookies out of his duffel bag. „I know you said five but I like to tip generously.“ Harry winked and Linnea grinned. 

 

„Is everyone else here?“ 

 

„Everyone is ready for you.“ Louis told her smiling. Linnea nodded and grabbed her ukulele. 

 

„Where can I leave my bag?“ Harry asked, standing back up. 

 

„My bedroom. C‘mon I’ll show you.“ Louis led the way to the room next to Linnea’s. The flat was tiny compared to Harry’s London home. Louis didn’t really want to know how his LA home would look, where he actually spend time. His room wasn’t much and with one look you knew what you got. 

 

„It’s cozy.“

 

„It’s tiny. But it’s home.“ Louis shrugged.

 

„Cozy. Like I said.“ Harry put his bag on the bed and turned to Louis. „why does this feel like the first time when you came to visit me in London? It shouldn’t be awkward Everytime we see each other.“

 

„I’m sorry.“ Louis sighed. „I just don’t know how to act around you. We talked … feelings. But we haven’t been on a date. Are we dating? Is it okay to kiss you? Can I introduce you to my family as a potential boyfriend? I haven’t done this-„ Louis pointed between him and Harry „in a very long time. Not since Lin and I’m afraid I’m a bit shit at it.“ 

 

Harry simply looked at him with his unfairly pretty eyes, right to his soul and didn’t break eye contact as he walked closer to Louis until he could cup his face. His eyes lost Louis‘ for a second but only to focus on his lips. And Louis was so ready for that kiss.  His hands found his way under Harry’s jumper and caressed the soft skin on Harry’s back. 

 

„You’re amazing at everything you do. You’re not shit at a relationship.“ that was probably a lie and Louis had some thoughts to that but his brain was empty the second Harry’s full lips met his thin once. It wasn't a perfect kiss, first ones rarely are, and Louis didn't feel fireworks or butterflies in his body. Instead, he just felt calm. And that was everything he needed right now. Harry broke their kiss but rested his forehead against Louis'.

 

„I guess we're dating. Do you have to go on a date for that?“ Louis just shrugged and laughed lightly. He was already feeling better, knowing somewhat what was okay with Harry. „Let's make our own rules and say we're dating.“ Harry decided and Louis simply pressed their lips together one more time before releasing Harry from his hug and took his hand instead, intertwining their fingers.

 

„As much as I would love to keep kissing you, I have a daughter that really wants to go to her own concert and we're the only people keeping her from that.“ with a smile Louis walked back to the living room, Harry in tow.

 

„Oh, look who decided to join us!“ Niall laughed and Louis gave him the finger and told Harry with a gesture to sit wherever he wants.

 

„Lin! We're ready!“ Louis called and grabbed his own guitar, knowing that his daughter wanted to perform her first song with her father. Seconds later Linnea stepped out of her backstage area and onto the 'stage'. Her family clapped loudly and just the big smile on her face made all the work worth it. Without saying much – obviously nervous – Linnea looked down on her ukulele to get the chords right and started with  _ Little Things _ . Louis reacted immediately and sat down on the edge of the table – too big to stand on their stage – and played with his daughter. They played like they practiced every time over the last couple of weeks. Both playing, both singing but Louis a lot quieter than Linnea to make sure that she could be heard.

 

After the first Refrain, he was sure that Linnea was confident in her playing and singing and looked over to their audience. Everyone had a smile on their face, Lottie her phone in her hands, no doubt filming the whole thing for her ever-growing Instagram Account. But what made him smile the widest was Harry in the back with the biggest smile on his face and a sign in his hand that made Louis almost laugh.

 

He had decorated his sign with a blue background and painted a plane on top of it and wrote Destination: LIN TOMLINSON TOUR. He even wrote down how many miles he had flown to be here from wherever his last concert had been. Louis had seen a lot of signs since he made his first social media account and a lot of them were funny but definitely not appropriate for his six-year-old daughter. This one though was cute and thoughtful and something Linnea would for sure want to hang on her wall.

 

God, he was so lucky that he not only found someone that was okay with him being a single father to a special needs child but was also so invested in said child that he would make her a freaking sign for her own living room concert. And not just a written sign. He had fucking crafted this sign.

 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when their audience clapped and whistled and Louis got up from the stage to let Linnea play the three other songs she knows on her own. Now that she had played one song she was okay with doing it on her own. Just like her first school concert – if she was sure that she could do it, she didn't need a helping hand.

 

Louis put his guitar back and made his way through his family to sit next to Harry. The singer immediately pulled him down on his lap, sign still proudly up in the air but with the other arm secure around Louis' waist.

 

„I thought you'd never play a concert?“ Harry asked quietly as to not disturb Linnea's version of Sweet Creature and kissed Louis on the back of his head. Louis leaned back into Harry's chest and turned his head to be able to whisper in his ear, his lips brushing Harry's skin.

 

„I'd never sing or play in front of thousands of people that I don't know. Like you. But this is my family. This is fun.“ Harry wanted to say something Louis could see it in his eyes but he was interrupted by the cheers of everyone else and he quickly chimed in. Two more songs and his daughter left her ukulele on the stage and got her hugs and praise from all her family. Harry and Louis were last and after Louis gave his daughter a big cuddle she jumped right into the arms of Harry, no Louis-less.

 

„You did so good!“ he cheered and picked her up. „And did you see my sign? I made it just for you.“ Linnea gasped and pulled the sign to her chest. For sure now one of her favorite things next to her Harry ukulele. They soon all settled down with some more food and now pizza („Look, Harry! Just like at your concert! But with good food. Daddy and I made Pizza!“) and talked, everyone getting to know Harry. Louis – tucked into Harry's side – saw his sister nonstop taking pictures, and as much as he would love to have memories from today, he was a bit worried about Harry's privacy.

 

„Lotts, don't put everything on Instagram, yeah?“

 

„Of course I don't. Nothing about Harry will be in my Story. Just pictures of everyone else and Videos are mute so you can't even hear him talk. Relax, Lou. I signed that NDA didn't I? I don't have the money to pay for the fine.“

 

„My team send them already?“ Harry asked shocked and everyone nodded. „I knew they would, but -“ he rubbed his hands over his face. „I just wanted to talk to you all about it before that happened. Guess they did what they want again.“

 

„Hey, it's okay.“ Louis intertwined their hands. Now that he could, he didn't want to stop to touch Harry.

 

„It's not, though. This isn't a business relationship. I'm serious about you, Lou. How does it look if you have to sign an NDA before I even know your names?“ Harry was getting worked up.

 

„Like your team wants you safe. We don't mind. I've already talked to Lou's siblings and none of them would post anything about you that could harm your career or safety and if your team needs that in written form than that's fine.“ Louis was glad that Dan talked to Harry about it, he himself was still hung up on Harry's declaration that he was serious about them when they haven't even really talked about them.

 

„Still.“

 

„Okay! Let's change the subject.“ Briana clapped in her hands, her mother instinct taking over and making sure irritated Harry got his smile back. „Louis, when do I get my tattoo? You promised next time I'm in Doncaster.“

 

„You promised me the same thing!“ Harry's smile was back and he turned around to Louis.

 

„When do we get our tattoo's?“ Phoebe asked and Louis shook his head.

 

„No. I'm not tattooing anyone under eighteen and even if you get Dan's signature, you two are going to wait until I say it's okay.“ Louis looked sternly at his sisters. He had quite a lot tattoos himself and some of them were stupid and he wouldn't get them again. Under eighteen was way too young to know what you want to have on your body for your whole life. „And for you two, I'm not doing anything today, but we can talk about tomorrow.“

 

„But Zayn and I are leaving tomorrow, Lou.“ Briana pouted.

 

„Well, then you will have to wait until Lin's Birthday.“ Louis smiled sweetly at her.

 

„I'm leaving tomorrow evening ...“ Harry said quietly.

 

„If you know what you want, we can go to the studio tomorrow.“ Louis shrugged and Harry happily cuddled into him. Louis was so happy and comfortable with Harry's warm body pressed against his own that he didn't hear the faint „Daddy“ coming from his daughter. It took her eyes to lose focus and Zayn's „Lou! Lin!“ for him to look up and immediately walk over and pick up his daughter.

 

„Niall, can you get me a towel? The thick one?“ he instructed with a calm voice, already on his way to his daughters' room.

 

„On it!“ Niall was up and running for what Louis had asked.

 

„I'll get her meds.“ Briana was on her feet as well, knowing just like Louis all the steps that needed to be done.

 

„Harry, you're coming with me.“ Louis said and waited for a wide-eyed Harry to get up and follow him. Seconds later Niall was back with a thick towel and laid it down on Linnea's bed, Louis laying his daughter on top. She had already lost consciousness, her body had gotten stiff. 

 

„It's okay, baby. Just relax. I'm here and Mommy is here and Harry is here.“ Louis said with his calm voice and went to throw all of her teddies and throw pillows on the ground.

 

„Lou, what's going on?“ Harry asked quietly.

 

„She's having a seizure. Or it's coming.“ Louis kept one Hand in Linnea's hair, making sure she knew he was there for as long as possible.

 

„Should I?“ Harry pointed behind him to the door where Briana was just coming in.

 

„No. If you want to be with me – us – this will happen often when you're around. I need you to know what to do when it happens.“ Louis told him. It was never easy for first-timers to see Linnea during a seizure, but it was the only way for Louis to be sure that everyone close to them knew what to do in case he wasn't there.

 

„Her meds.“ Briana put them down on Lin's bedside table. „I'm going to leave you two to it. The fewer people the better. Everyone else has left. Call me tomorrow when she's better.“ Louis nodded and Briana squeezed Louis' shoulder on her way out.

 

„What do I do?“ Harry asked his voice sounding unsure.

 

„Do you have your phone on you?“ Louis asked and Harry nodded, pulling it out of his pocket. „Once the seizure starts you need to check the time. More than five minutes and we need to call 911. Other than that … make sure she lays down and that nothing's around her where she could hurt herself. And then ...“ Louis shrugged. „just wait. There's nothing we can do other than make sure she knows we're here and that she's safe. Once the seizure starts don't touch her. Oh, and she most likely will wet herself. It's normal, but that's why we use the towel.“ It started in her hands, as always. Tremors were shaking the little body and Louis sat back down on his knees next to her bed, hands in his lap.

 

„Keep an eye on the time.“ Louis said and saw Harry hit the stopwatch. He then got down on his knees, scooting close to Louis, no doubt looking for some kind of comfort. By now Linnea let out a loud cry and the shaking took over her entire body. Harry flinched next to him and Louis took his hand.

  
  


 

 

„Are you still serious about us?“ Louis asked later when both of them were laying in bed. Harry hadn't talked much after the seizure and Louis felt like this was it – the point where everyone left. He had hoped Harry would be different. Foolish hope. Louis looked over at Harry, who was laying on his back, staring at the ceiling.

 

„How do you do it?“

 

„It's never easy. She seems in pain and you feel … helpless. But I'm doing this with her for six years. You get used to it. I know her signs and by now I work on autopilot, you know? Like Niall knew where the towel is I need and how Bri knew that we might need her meds.“ Louis rolled over on his side to have a better look at Harry. „I know this is scary. But you can't forget about every other thing that makes Lin, Lin. This is just one, small, unfair part of her. She's so much more than her disability.“

 

„Of course she is.“ Harry furrowed his eyebrows. „I had this mental image of her having a seizure. Now that I've seen it, I don't know what was worse. What I thought would happen or what happened.“ The singer seemed to come out of his bubble and turned on his side to be eye to eye with Louis. „I'm not leaving if that's what you're thinking. But … but I don't want to be alone with her for a bit, yeah? I … I don't want to fuck up. Let me be sure about what I'm doing before that happens. And I know that we basically just met and you probably wouldn't leave her with me at the moment but … just to clarify. I can't do it yet.“

 

Louis smiled and cupped Harry's cheek, caressing the skin with his thumb. He looked into the green eyes until he could see some of the uncertainty and horror vanish. Only then did he close his eyes and press a soft kiss to Harry's lips.

 

„I'm just glad you're not running.“

 

*

 

The next morning found Louis in an empty bed. His brain instantly told him that Harry had changed his mind and that he had left early to go back on tour. But then he heard the soft voices of some TV Show and there was no way that Linnea was already awake. He didn't bother with putting on more clothes than he was wearing, which was simply some joggers, and went to find Harry. Louis found him sitting on his couch, still facing their hallway, cuddled up in one of the throw blankets, watching something on his phone.

 

„You could've used the TV.“ Louis told him and sat down next to him, taking the other blanket to keep warm. Even with the heating on, it was a bit chilly in the flat. Harry shrugged and leaned against Louis.

 

„Didn't know if it would be okay.“

 

„Make yourself at home.“ Louis told him and kissed the top of his head, hair sticking up in every direction. „You okay?“

 

„Yeah, just jetlagged. What time will Lili be up? I thought about making breakfast.“

 

„That's sweet. But she will be knocked out for a few more hours. Seizures are exhausting for her.“

 

„So are we having a Disney Channel and Junk Food day before my driver picks me up?“ Harry asked and looked up, Louis smiling sweetly down at him. It was so nice to have someone that put the family first, even though it was Louis' family.

 

„We can. But I thought you wanted your tattoo?“

 

„Not if Lili isn't well. If it's better for her to stay here, then we'll stay here.“

 

„I'm so glad you tried to find me.“ Louis told him and kissed him quickly before checking the time. „But Lin will be okay. She will be extra cuddly today and needs to take it easy, might be a bit disorientated but she will be fine coming to the studio with us. She's there quite often, she has her drawing stuff over there.“

 

„Where are you going?“ Harry pouted when Louis got up.

 

„Lin needs her meds. She'll probably fall right back to sleep but I need her to take her pills around the same time each day. I'll show you how later.“ It was quickly done, Louis did this for years now, and he soon found himself back with Harry on the couch. It was their first morning together and Louis already adored the soft and cuddly side of Harry. The singer fumbled with his phone for a bit, enjoying Louis' short nails scratching the back of his head, before looking up at him.

 

„Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer.“

 

„Is it about last night?“ Louis asked.

 

„Kind of?“

 

„What is it?“

 

„I was just wondering … you always talk so much about your Mom and how she helped you with Lili and everything … did you two have a falling out? Because she wasn't here yesterday?“ Louis stopped his fingers but started up again when Harry looked at him worriedly. He hadn't told Harry about this part of his life, not because he couldn't but because it wasn't something he just told people.

 

„Mom was my best friend. She had me quite young and it was just the two of us for so long … we were always really close. I'm probably the biggest Momma's boy there is.“ Louis grinned. „She always wanted grandchildren and I'm happy that I was able to give her that, even if it wasn't the best way. But ehm … when Lin was a couple months old Mom got diagnosed with Cancer. We spend my daughters first birthday at the hospital with Mom and … a couple weeks later she died.“

 

„That's shit.“ Harry said with furrowed eyebrows and this unexpected answer made Louis laugh.

 

„That's not the normal reaction I get when I tell people about Mom.“

 

„My Stepdad, who had been there basically my entire life, died from cancer about four years ago. I just hate when people say 'I'm sorry' because they don't know what to say. And I mean, it's true, it is shit.“

 

„It really, really is. I mean I'm really grateful for Dan, that he kept the family together. His biological kids are Doris and Ernest, my other sisters are from my first Stepdad. Sure, he married my Mom but he wasn't really obligated to make sure the family stays as that, you know? And he does his best to be the person I can come to for parenting advice. But sometimes I wish I could talk to Mom about things.“

 

„We just need to try and keep them alive somehow, you know? Make sure that Lili knows about her Grandma and stuff.“ Harry shrugged.

 

„Yeah, we do that. Celebrate her Birthday and everything. Lin was convinced for the longest time that we were celebrating her birthday twice a year.“ Louis laughed. „ Everyone was all over Lin whenever it was Mom's Birthday because they wanted to make sure that she was okay. I don't even know why, she didn't know why we were having cake that day, but she loved it. I tried to explain death and everything to her last year. She knows her own – child-friendly – version but I think it's good to be honest about those things.“

 

„You're a really good Dad. No matter what some Mary Lady says.“ Harry told him with so much love and fond in his eyes that Louis felt himself blush and kissed Harry quickly to hide it.

 

„By the way. Is this okay? With Linnea? Or do you want us to not be couple-y with her around?“ Louis loved that Harry asked about it. Before yesterday Louis wanted to keep this to him and make sure it's what he wants before telling Linnea. But all of his worries had disappeared and he was just happy to have Harry actually here that he didn't even think about it again.

 

„Maybe let's not kiss in front of her. But I don't see why we shouldn't be cuddling and stuff. She knows I cuddle with my friends.“ Harry's eyes immediately darkened which made Louis grin.

 

„Don't tell me you're jealous.“ Harry just shrugged and looked down. God, Louis was a lucky man.

 

„Daddy?“ Linnea was standing in the doorway, still looking exhausted but at least up on her feet.

 

„Hey, squirt! Wanna come cuddle with us?“ Louis asked and made a bit more room between himself and Harry when Linnea nodded and crawled between them. „Feeling better?“

 

„Sore.“

 

„I bet.“ Louis hugged his daughter close. „Harry wanted to make us breakfast, how do you feel about that?“

 

„Can you make pancakes? With Chocolate Chips? Do we have whipped cream?“ Linnea shot her questions at Harry who simply laughed.

 

„If you have all the ingredients I can do that.“ Linnea cheered quietly and Louis sighed.

 

„After breakfast, we need to clean up in here. It's a right tip.“ With Linnea's seizure and Harry's state afterward they had simply gone to bed without cleaning anything up.

 

„Just leave it, Daddy. It's always clean in the morning.“ Linnea told him with a serious face and Louis saw Harry over her shoulder trying not to laugh out loud.

 

„Mhm … but since we don't have house elves, it's Daddy who does all the cleaning. Today the three of us are going to do that, and then we're going to the studio before Harry has to leave, okay?“

 

„Do you have to work?“ Linnea didn't look too happy with the days' plans.

 

„No, baby. Harry wants a tattoo and I'm going to do that before he has to go.“ Even though it wasn't really working to Louis he could understand why Linnea saw it as that. He was at the studio and he was tattooing. So, in her eyes doing his work.

 

„How about we do something you want after that? I still have a couple hours before I have to go the airport.“ Harry tried to get her mood up. Linnea nodded.

 

„Can we watch a movie?“ That was a typical after-seizure activity for Linnea so Louis wasn't even surprised by her wish. Harry nodded enthusiastically before get rid of the blanket to start on breakfast. Louis watched him with raised eyebrows. He really had thought about Linnea, now wearing a lot more clothes than last night in bed.

 

Two hours later they had had breakfast, cleaned the living room and were in the studio. Louis locked the door behind them and made sure to close all the blinds to give them - but mostly Harry - some privacy. 

 

„It looks really cool.“ Harry said, looking around in the small studio. Linnea was already behind the reception counter to find something to draw on. 

 

“Bottom drawer, Lin.” Louis told her. During one of the slower days, Rosa had spent a couple hours organizing the reception area and had added a drawer with things for Linnea. 

 

“Do you know what you want? Like, do you have a design ready?” Louis asked. 

 

“Yeah, I have a picture on my phone.” Harry pulled out his iPhone to find it. 

 

“Cool. Can you send it to me via airdrop so I can print it?” Louis wasn’t a fan of computers and used iPads in his studio. It was easier to draw certain designs as well. Within seconds Louis had a clear picture of two laurels. It wasn't the weirdest of Harry's tattoos or any tattoos Louis had ever done. But …

 

„Leaves?“ he asked anyway. Normally he didn't care much about the meaning of tattoos. If someone was getting a tattoo it had a reason and just because Louis was the one giving that person a tattoo, it didn't mean that he needs to know sometimes very personal meanings.

 

„Laurels. They're pretty, aren't they?“ Harry smiled with a tilt to his head and looked down on the iPad.

 

„I guess they make a nice tattoo. Where do you want it?“ Louis send a first version to the printer while Harry pushed his shirt up.

 

„On my hips. One here and one here.“ he pointed to the region, quite low on his upper body, and Louis gulped. That will be an interesting tattoo session.

 

„So, quite big, yeah? All the way to here?“ with fingers on Harry's skin he got more personal than he would with any other client. Harry nodded and looked deep into Louis' eyes.

 

„Daddy! Do you have cookies?“ Linnea called from the room attached to the main area. Louis took a step back a got busy printing out a bigger version, before finding the tin of cookies and gave them to Harry with the instruction to find his daughter. As nice as it was to have Harry half naked in front of him, his daughter was in the room. This really wasn't the time to have any thoughts. With the design, a couple bottles of water and some papers for Harry to sign, Louis followed into the room. Harry was standing next to Linnea, both of them happily eating cookies and discussing the girls' drawing. This was sweet Harry. This was what Louis should be thinking about.

 

„Did you find something you can draw?“ Louis asked and prepared the chair for Harry to sit.

 

„It's a surprise! Something for Harry when he sings to the world.“ Linnea said and grabbed another cookie.

 

„Well, then Mr. Styles. Surprised are not to be seen in the making. Take a seat.“ Louis grinned and sat down on the roller stool. „I also need you to sign this.“ It was the normal health and safety form. Official client or not, Louis took his Job seriously. After Harry's signature, it didn't take long for Louis to start on the tattoo.

 

„If it's too much just let me know. We can take a break whenever.“ Louis told him, concentrating on the work in less on the placement. He started at the top near Harry's rips to get the most painful part over with.

 

„It's okay. I kind of like it. The feeling of getting a tattoo.“ Harry looked weirdly relaxed for such a delicate placement.

 

„A lot of people do. I don't really get it. It's not really painful but not a great feeling either. With every tattoo I have, I was glad when it was over.“ Louis laughed.

 

„Hey, Lili! What movie are we watching later?“ Harry asked the girl.

 

„Lion King.“ Linnea told him without giving it a second thought or looking up. Louis smiled fondly. His girl was crazy about musicals for some reason.

 

„I love that movie!“ Harry exclaimed happily and Louis had to put a hand on Harry's stomach to keep him from moving too much. He just looked at Harry with raised eyebrows.

 

„I'm trying not to mess up.“

 

„Sorry.“ Harry grinned cheekily. „But I can teach you how to play Can you feel the love tonight on your ukulele, Lili.“ That got her to turn around.

 

„Can you? That would be so cool!“

 

„We probably don't have time today, but next time I see you we can do that.“ Louis was wondering when that would be. At this point, he wouldn't want to miss Harry in his life. But it sure wasn't easy with him being so far away for his work all the time. The three of them stayed in the studio for close to three hours, Harry needing a quick break after Louis was almost done with one of the laurels, only to find a very prominent bulge in Harry's very tight jeans („You're down there, Louis. What did you expect?“).

 

Back home Louis gave Harry some of his baggier Joggers to not irritate the freshly done tattoo too much and they settled down to watch the Disney movie of choice. Linnea brought the Cookies that Harry had paid with for his concert ticket and Louis allowed it. They could start eating somewhat healthy again starting tomorrow. This was what Louis had hoped a relationship could give him. Cuddled up to Harry, Linnea on his lap, Harry's arm around Louis' shoulder and one over Linnea's legs. This closeness was what he had longed for without really knowing it. But now that he had it, he didn't want to miss it and knowing that Harry would leave them again in a few hours had him already feeling sad.

 

Harry just had time to pack his duffel bag before his driver texted him that he was out on the street. With a sad look on his face, Harry put his bag over his shoulder.

 

„Well, I had fun. Hopefully, I see you guys soon.“ They hadn't talked about the next time they would see each other but Louis hoped they would find something soon. It was already November, maybe they could work something out over the Christmas Break.

 

„Harry, where are you going next?“ Linnea wanted to know.

 

„America, Sweety. And then Mexico and then I'm going home to my family over Christmas. Next year will be all about writing new songs. No touring.“

 

„Will you call?“

 

„Of course. I'll call Daddy as soon as I'm landed, okay?“ Linnea just nodded and hugged Harry tightly. „I will put your drawing on the wall next to my bed on the tour bus and then I can see it every day.“ Linnea released Harry and walked back to the couch. She wasn't good with goodbyes, never had been.

 

„I'll walk you out.“ Louis said and Harry led the way to the door.

 

„Might be best if we … you know?“ Harry said and Louis knew what he meant. Even though they hadn't seen a single fan in the two days Harry had been in Doncaster, you never knew. And Louis didn't want to be in the public eye more than he had to. Louis hugged him tight before softly kissing him.

 

„I'll miss you.“

 

„I'll miss you, too.“ Harry hid his face in the crook of Louis' neck for a minute before straightening up. „I'll call you.“ And with one last kiss, the singer was out of the door and Louis felt as sad and Linnea looked curled up on the couch.

 

*

 

Harry was glad that he went straight back to the busy life of soundcheck, performing and driving to the next venue. It meant that he hadn't as much time to think about how much he missed Linnea and Louis. This was why he was never keen on relationships. They were hard in this business. But he had a feeling that Louis was worth it. One thing he couldn't get out of his mind though, no matter how much else was going on, was the seizure Louis made him watch. His body had wanted nothing more but run away, give the responsibility to someone else, but he knew he had to be there. He wanted to be in the Tomlinson's life, he needed to know what to do in those moments. That didn't make it less scary.

 

Something that Harry thought about a lot was the conversation they had had about a service dog. He had thought that he understood why a dog would help with Louis' worry and Linnea's independence but only now did he really understand what a service dog could do for the family. Ever since coming to the resolution that a service dog would be the best thing for the duo right now, Harry had researched everything he could about the topic. And after being one hundred percent sure about it, feeling like he could answer any possible question, did he bring it up one night post-concert in a phone call to Louis.

 

„Do you remember Linnea being obsessed with getting a dog?“ he started. Louis laughed on the other line.

 

„Of course. She still is, just doesn't ask as often.“

 

„If I pay for one, would you take it?“ Harry asked straight out what he wanted to know. It was quiet on the line and Harry started to worry his bottom lip.

 

„Harry, do you have any idea how expensive a service dog is? You don't just buy a dog, the training is so expensive and takes a long time.“

 

„I know. Ever since I'm back on the road I have researched everything I could about the topic. But Louis, do you have any idea how much I make with what I do? Without wanting to sound like a dickhead, but I can easily afford it. I'm not going to lie, seeing Lili seizure scared the shit out of me and I'm sure you feel much more of that angst every day. It would help everyone so much.“

 

„Harry ...“ Louis sighed.

 

„I can go online right now and find a gofundme page for a service dog and donate how much money they need. It wouldn't hurt me or my bank account. But I want to do this for you. Give Lili more independence and you a peace of mind. It would actually ease my mind as well.“

 

„Okay, fine.“ Louis finally agreed.

 

„Really?“ Harry smiled.

 

„Yes.“ Louis laughed. „You're right. It would help us and if you promise that it's not too expensive.“

 

„I swear it's not.“ Harry was quick to soothe Louis' worries. „I actually already looked online for some dogs and agencies that looked good.“

 

„Came prepared, huh?“ Louis teased and Harry would bet that he was smiling.

 

„At this point, I could write a guide about service dogs.“ Louis laughed with Harry before getting serious again.

 

„Thank you.“

 

„Of course. How about getting her one for Christmas? Like I said I already have one puppy in mind.“

 

„That would be your Christmas present, I really can't afford to contribute to that.“ Louis sighed.

 

„Buy a collar or something.“ Harry shrugged. It wasn't about who spend more money, it was about the gift itself.

 

„So, do we see you over Christmas then?“ They hadn't talked about a set date yet but Harry was dying to see his boy.

 

„I can't leave Christmas, my Mom would kill me. Maybe the day after?“ Louis paused but answered just before Harry could get worried again.

 

„Yeah, sure. We don't really have any plans.“ Harry was off until the new year. Maybe he could stay a couple days with Louis. Or they could stay with him in London. They could watch the Christmas Lights with Linnea.

 

„You know, Lin's Birthday is at the end of February. Do you think you could come to that? We have a small gathering with the family. Her friends come on another day.“ Harry couldn't help but grin. He was a family man, always saw himself growing old with a lot of kids and grandchildren. It felt so good to be invited to family obligations – and that before their first date.

 

„Absolutely. I will let my team know that they can't book me for anything on her birthday.“ he then giggled. „We really need to go on that date. We're moving really fast here, Lou.“

 

„I know! And I want to see you and kiss you and go on that date. I'm this close to get Lin out of school for two days just to come to see you wherever you are.“

 

„I wouldn't even want to stop you.“ Harry sighed. „But you were right, Lou. You can't do things like pulling Lils out of school just because you want to see me. We'll find a date that works.“ In Harry's mind, an idea already formed. He needed to see Louis and he needed to see him happy.

 

*

 

Louis wouldn't say that he had a shitty day, but it missed Harry, he had another discussion with Mary about how the way he was raising Linnea would only cause her harm and Rosa had to work an emergency shift at the Bar and left Louis to the studio completely on his own. Between clients and ringing phones he couldn't really concentrate and by the time his last client had left he was irritated to no end. Even though Rosa usually took care of new clients and everything that was administrative, Louis could've sworn that they never had this many phone calls in one day.

 

Louis was just about to leave the studio, not even caring about calling anyone back when his phone binged with a new text message. In all the hours he had spent at work today he hadn't had a chance to check his phone once.

 

**Lottie**

_ I can watch Lin for the night, don't worry. Have fun! Xx _

 

Confused he unlocked his phone to check his calendar app. Did he forget something? He really hoped Lottie had confused some dates and that he could just go home, shower and sleep. Before he could open his calendar app he got another text.

 

**H.**

_ There's a driver waiting for you. Trust me, he isn't kidnapping you. _

 

What the hell was Harry planning? After the day he had, Louis didn't even care and grabbed his stuff, locked the studio and looked for his kidnapper. The man waiting in front of the black Mercedes was hard to miss and the driver opened the door for Louis when he came closer.

 

„Thank you.“ Louis made sure to be polite even if his mood was as south as it could go. „Am I allowed to know where you're kidnapping me?“ he asked after the man had taken his seat behind the wheel.

 

„Harry told me you're funny.“ was the only answer Louis got. Great. So he won't get an answer to his question. Louis relaxed into the seat and scrolled through his Instagram Feed. Between a bunch of selfies of his sisters, Bar pictures from Niall and the random celebrity posts he found out just why his phone wouldn't stop ringing today. Harry had posted a picture of his new tattoo and linked Louis' tattoo shop.

All those new clients for sure just wanted to have their tattoo done in the same studio as Harry Styles. Louis didn't want to take Harry's money and Harry knew that, so he got him financial help with buying the dog they need or advertising his tattoo studio. He couldn't even be cross about it.

 

„We're here, Mr. Tomlinson.“ the driver told him and opened his door once again. They had parked in front of a fancy looking restaurant – for sure not in Doncaster, but Louis hadn't focused on where they had been going. Was Harry here? Had he planned a surprise date for them? With a funny feeling in tummy, Louis thanked the driver again and stepped into the Restaurant.

 

„Hi, how can I help you?“ The lady working front of house asked him.

 

„I'm not sure. Is there a reservation for Tomlinson?“ How do you find a table you didn't even know about?

 

„Yes! Mr. Tomlinson, we're set up for you. If you would follow me, please.“ She grabbed a menu and led the way in the back part of the restaurant, where no one else was sitting. Louis was a bit taken aback when he found not Harry but a table set for one with a Macbook on it.

 

„Here's your menu. When you're ready to order just raise your hand and one of our waiters will be with you shortly.“

 

„Thank you.“ Louis sat down and almost jumped when he saw Harry's face on the display, obviously facetiming.

 

„Hey, babe.“

 

„Is this our date?“ Louis asked.

 

„I don't want to wait until our calendars align. So, given our distance, this is the closest thing I can give you for a first date.“ Harry shrugged. Only now Louis realized that Harry was sitting in a restaurant himself, candle illuminating his face.

 

„I feel so underdressed.“ Louis laughed, seeing Harry in a black, simple suit – or at least a blazer.

 

„You're perfect. How are you?“ Harry already had a drink and food before him and Louis quickly waved a waiter over to order before answering Harry's question.

 

„My day was actually pretty shit. Nothing worth mentioning.“ Louis shrugged. He did already feel a lot better just seeing Harry and knowing that someone took the time to do something like this for him.

 

„Are you okay? We can talk about it.“ Harry offered but Louis shook his head no.

 

„Just the typical Mary Drama. Oh and somehow crazy many people know about Room 28 and my phone wouldn't stop ringing. You wouldn't know anything about that?“ Louis asked with a grin.

 

„I just marked the location where I had the laurels done. If people like it and want a tattoo to be done by you, that's a nice bonus.“ Harry shrugged.

 

„I can see why my daughter likes you so much.“

 

„How is she? And you? I miss you.“

 

„We're good. We miss you. I wouldn't want to change anything but this distance thing had been easier just being friends.“

 

„But it's worth it, right?“ Harry looked so insecure where usually was his confident self.

 

„So far, yes. I might take one of those quizzes, though. You know, just to be sure that I end up with you and not Ryan Gosling.“

 

„You're mean.“ Harry stuck his tongue out and Louis couldn't contain his giggle. He was falling for this man on the screen and he wouldn't want to change it.

 

*

 

One thing that had been sure for Louis after his date with Harry was that he needed to hold and kiss his man. It was so sweet of Harry to organize their cyber date and it had been so nice to have him childfree in a nice setting and not just their flat. But the longing to feel Harry's actual body near him was stronger than his willpower. Louis had spent a week studying Harry's schedule that he had sent him to find the best date to visit him. Niall was happy to take Linnea for a weekend, Lottie agreeing to babysit when Niall had to work. Louis knew that Linnea would be safe with her uncle and aunt.

 

It was nice to have more clients and to be able to put away some money but with the new found fame for Room 28 it was a bit tricky to find space to travel for three days but Louis and Rosa finally worked out a long weekend for Louis to take off. With a packed suitcase and another drawing for Harry from Linnea, Louis was finally on his way to Mexico for Harry's concert. After getting a surprise date Louis felt like it was only fair to surprise Harry as well. With a smile on his face, he sat on the plane, excitement rushing through him. He didn't have an exact plan, just knew in which Hotel Harry was staying and a number for his bodyguard.

 

Landing in Mexico was exciting. Louis, of course, traveled to the U.S. quite often but other than that he didn't have the money to take Linnea on overseas holidays. This was a first for him and he couldn't wait for his weekend getaway. Walking through the Airport Louis used the wifi to finally turn his phone on again to check if anyone wanted something from him because of Linnea. And indeed did he find a text message from his sister.

 

**Lottie**

_ I just saw the videos and pics? Are you guys okay? _

 

Confused Louis opened Twitter to find some answers and looked up Harry Styles. With the first pictures of Harry getting heavily mopped Louis felt sick to his stomach. He didn't even want to see more than the first pictures on his feed. Of course, Louis knew that celebrities get mopped, but this was on another level. Fans were on the car, for fucks sake. The urge to see Harry was coming from somewhere else and Louis quickly put his phone away and called himself a taxi. On the way to the taxi, he called Harry's bodyguard to make sure that he would be let in. They probably had some heavy security at the hotel after such a horrible welcome to Mexico.

 

Luckily he got an answer that someone would wait outside for him. Louis wasn't sure how good of an idea that was after arriving at the hotel and seeing all the fans standing outside of the hotel, singing Harry's songs and screaming at every car that drove by. This sure as hell was bad for the Hotel's other guests. Why didn't they call the police? Why did those fans think this was a good idea in the first place?

 

Louis' heart started beating in an unhealthy speed and he wasn't sure what to do after paying for the ride. Should he get out and hope that he could just hurry inside? But even his new clients new that he had some kind of connection to Harry, they always asked about Harry. If just a handful of these fans knew who he was, this could escalate so fast. Before he could decide on the best thing to do, he saw a couple security guards coming his way, parting the crowd. One of them took care of his suitcase, the others made sure to get Louis inside. There was still a lot of pushing and yelling and Louis was honestly terrified. Paparazzi were somewhere in the crowd, the flashes quickly blinding Louis and he had to look down, trusting the security guards to get him into the hotel in one piece.

 

„Sorry about that. The Hotel isn't cooperative. Won't call the police, wouldn't let us use the garage door for anyone that isn't famous.“ The Bodyguard told him. Louis could just nod, still in some kind of shock. „Today was really bad. I'm glad he won't be alone tonight.“ Louis was just some random person trying to get into the hotel and  _ he  _ was glad that he didn't have to be alone. It must've been a lot worse for Harry.

 

„Can I?“ Louis asked, pointing to the elevator.

 

„Of course. Room 203. Here's your key.“ Louis took the key and his suitcase and made his way to Harry's room. The first thing he noticed after entering the room was the screams. The fans were so loud that you hear them inside. How is anyone supposed to rest like this? The suite was dark, curtains shut and Harry curled up in a small ball on the bed. It honestly broke Louis' heart to see him like this. He stayed at the edge of the bed, not sure in what state Harry was and what he needed right now.

 

„Harry?“ Louis asked quietly, not wanting to wake him up in case he actually was asleep. But Harry stirred and looked up.

 

„Lou?“ Harry asked brokenly and that was all Louis needed to lay on the bed next to Harry. The singer immediately cuddled close to Louis, his head on Louis' chest.

 

„I came to surprise you. I saw what happened after I landed. I'm so sorry.“ Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's wild curls and pulled him close, starting to scratch his scalp. That was something that always soothed Linnea.

 

„Hate it when that happens. Scares me.“ Harry sniffed and god, Louis just wanted to protect him from the world.

 

„I bet. Scared me, and I'm not even the famous one.“ Another kiss.

 

„What?“

 

„Your security team had to help me from my taxi into the hotel. The crowd outside is insane.“ Louis shuddered remembering the scene.

 

„I'm sorry.“ Harry almost whined.

 

„No, honey. This isn't your fault at all. Your fans should know that celebrities need to have their privacy and deserve as much respect as anyone else.“

 

Harry nodded sadly but looked up at Louis anyways. And having him this close, Louis could see his face for the first time since it was so dark in the suite. Harry's eyes were bloodshot and swollen and Louis didn't even want to know for how long he had been laying here by himself, crying and scared.

 

„Thank you for coming.“

 

„Of course. Let's try and sleep, okay?“ Harry got comfortable, half laying on top of Louis and the older man wrestled the blanket out of underneath them to get them properly into bed.

 

„They're so loud, Lou.“ Harry murmured and Louis reached into his jeans to get his phone.

 

„Let's listen to some music, okay?“ Louis clicked on his latest playlist and laid the phone between them. Happiness by The Fray was playing, something slow to get them to sleep. It wasn't loud enough to not hear the fan screams, but it gave them something else to focus on. Louis rested his head against Harry's, not feeling tired. His mind was on everything he just experienced. The mopping. The fans pushing. The screaming. The state Harry was in. The camera flashes. Louis couldn't see how he was supposed to keep Linnea safe in this world.

 

Louis had found happiness in Harry. But his daughter should always be his first priority.


	3. Ch.03 - And I can't blame myself for getting lost inside the promise of you, And I can't blame you leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short & sad. I'm sorry. xx

**Ch. 3 - And I can't blame myself for getting lost inside the promise of you, And I can't blame you leaving**

 

_ Atmosphere – Bebe Rexha (All Your Fault Pt. 1; 2017) _

 

Louis hurried through the people in Doncaster to get to his studio. November had changed to December and even though it wasn't snowing, it was freezing cold. Especially Louis, who was always cold anyway, felt like he would never be warm again. Before the tattoo artist could reach his workplace, he could already see the group of teenagers standing in front of it, cellphones ready to take Louis' unasked picture. If all of them would be waiting to get a tattoo, that would be one thing, but no – these teenagers were Harry's fans that travel to Doncaster just to get a picture of Harry's rumored boyfriend. And that irritated Louis to no end.

 

He wasn't sure if this whole stalking thing wouldn't just get worse if he and Harry ever decided to come out to the public. Not that there was anything to come out as. They still hadn't crossed the line of casual dating to boyfriends and right now Louis wasn't sure if they even should. Louis felt uncomfortable and rude walking past the small group of fans without reacting to them, but it was a lot. Harry was used to this, Harry had earned his fans. Louis was nothing but a potential boyfriend and he didn't feel like they were actually here for him, but just for the fact that he might be linked to their idol. And that was simply rude towards Louis and nothing but invading towards his privacy. At this point, he didn't even bring Linnea into work or let Lottie bring her over. He still wasn't sure how to handle all this undeserved fame and his daughter and wasn't sure how they could exist in the same world.

 

„Morning, Lou.“ Rosa greeted him. „They're getting more each day, huh?“

 

„I don't know what to do about them.“ Louis sighed.

 

„If they don't leave, I guess we could call the police.“ Rosa shrugged.

 

„They aren't doing anything. But it's still irritating and bad for business.“ Louis said defeated. How could someone so loving and innocent like Harry bring so much stress and worry into Louis' life?

 

„We can put up heavy curtains, block out any light.“ Rosa grinned.

 

„Not sure that will be helpful.“

 

„I'm sorry. You didn't sign up for this. By the way, thanks for telling me that you had Harry Styles in the studio without telling me.“ Rosa didn't know about Harry and Louis dating and for now, Louis wanted to keep it this way. She knew about the rumors, she spends too much free time on Twitter, but she didn't know how true they were.

 

„It is what it is. I'll figure something out.“ Louis finally got rid of his jacket, thankful that Rosa started early and got the heating running, and prepared the tattoo area for his first client.

 

„Your first one is Ryan. He wants the cover-up you've been working on. That will keep your mind of things for a couple hours.“ It was true. Whenever Louis was at work, working on a piece, he concentrated simply on that and on distracting the client from the feel of getting a tattoo. It was his little safe space. But as soon as he looked out the windows and saw the small crowd waiting, he felt the stress coming back. But for now, he concentrated on getting the stencil ready and focus on his clients. He tried his best to keep his back to windows and to block out his new reality.

 

After a successful working day, Louis felt tired and ready for some quality time with his daughter. But before he could leave, Rosa hold him back with a concerned look on her face.

 

„What?“ Louis asked, immediately worried. „Did something happen? Do you need to go? I can close the shop.“

 

„No, I'm fine. But … I know your Instagram isn't private and you post about Linnea, so maybe this isn't a big deal to you. But those pictures of her are all over Twitter. Even baby pictures. No idea where they found those.“

 

„What?“ Louis reached for Rosa's phone so fast that it almost slipped from both their hands. Her Twitter feed was still open and it was full of his daughters' pictures. Some of them private, they shouldn't even be online. Did someone hack his icloud?! „I need to handle this.“ Louis murmured and hurried out of the shop and home.

 

Lottie was sitting on the couch with Linnea next to her, reading to the girl, when Louis rushed inside. Both looked up with startled eyes, but soon enough Linnea's changed into a look of happiness.

 

„Hi Daddy! Aunty Lottie is reading to me!“

 

„That's nice.“ he said with a forced smile before concentrating on Lottie. „Can you stay for a bit longer? I need to make some calls.“ Lottie nodded and Louis hurried into his bedroom and closed the door to have some privacy. Before calling anyone he opened his Instagram App and went into his settings. His finger hovered over the 'delete' button but he wasn't sure. The pictures were already out there and he did enjoy Instagram. Instead of deleting he put his settings to private and closed the App before calling Briana.

 

„What's wrong?“ She asked instead of a greeting and Louis realized that she most likely had been sleeping. Every phone call this late meant trouble. 

 

„We need to talk.“ Louis said.

 

„Last time you said that we broke up. Last time I said that I was pregnant. What's wrong?“ Briana sighed and Louis could understand why. He would prefer not to have to deal with all of this, too.

 

„I think someone hacked into my cloud or something. Someone put pictures of Lin on Twitter and they're not just from my Instagram. There are baby pictures of her out there.“

 

„Are they bad? Like, naked pictures of her or something?“

 

„No. I don't even have those. But we never talked about how we wanted to handle Lin and social media. I was okay with her being on my Instagram but ever since Harry is in our lives there are a lot of people looking at our little girl. And there are sick people out there, Bri.“ Louis felt like the ceiling was slowly crashing down on him and he wished for his Mom to be here. Tears burned in the back of his eyes. The entire situation was starting to be too much.

 

„Yeah, I know. We probably should stop posting about her for a while. Who do you call when you get hacked? Apple?“

 

„I have no idea. I never was hacked.“ Louis fumed. Briana shouldn't be the target of his anger, but Louis couldn't hold back right now.

 

„Ask Harry. I bet he knows what to do.“ Briana told him calmly.

 

„He's the reason for all of this.“ Louis blurted and knew immediately how untrue those words are.

 

„Louis!“ Briana scolded immediately. „Stop being an ass. You knew who Harry was before you started dating him. You knew this wouldn't be easy. This is a side effect of his Job. But it for sure isn’t his fault. Don't blame him for this!“

 

„Sorry.“

 

„You better be! I get that you're scared and that this is a lot. This isn't just your life or our life, but the life of our innocent, six-year-old girl. But being angry at Harry won't make it better. You guys are in a relationship. You should lean on each other when it gets tough, not fight over it.“ Briana had always been the first person to put Louis in his place when he messed up. It had been one of the reasons why he knew that she would be a great mother.

 

„I know. I just don't know how to have a relationship with Harry and make sure Lin is safe at the same time.“ Louis voiced his concerns for the first time.

 

„I can't help you with that. For now, we need to make sure that not more pictures are getting out. If this relationship is something that you want is something you need to figure out yourself.“ Louis desperately wanted something of Briana's calmness.

 

„Okay. I call him and we stop posting about her. I will tell my family to stop.“

 

„We should talk about this more later, okay? What we can post, what not. Let's just take a break from it now.“

 

„Yeah. I'll call you.“

 

After ending the call Louis tiredly lay down on the bed. He should call Harry and tell him about his worries. They should find a solution together and find the happiness again they had shared before the Mexico incident. But too many emotions were running through his system and he didn't want to end up screaming at Harry. Instead, he texted him and went back out to cuddle his daughter and let Lottie go home.

 

**H.**

_ I got hacked. They put private pictures of Lin on Twitter. Please do something about it. _

 

_ * _

 

Harry didn’t know what he had done wrong. The only thing he knew for certain was that Louis had been a bit distant and seemed unhappy every since he had visited him in Mexico. Harry could imagine that it was a lot for Louis to be put in that situation. He had told him about the fans that would just stand in front of his workplace to take his picture and now someone had put private pictures of his daughter on the Internet. It was a lot to handle, Harry knew. It was a lot for him and he was used to it. But he didn’t know if this was all - Louis wouldn’t talk to him. They barely talked on the phone, every time Harry asked if everything was okay Louis told him yes - Harry didn’t know what to do. But he was scared for his relationship. 

 

“He’s so cute.” Gemma gushed over the puppy that was running around in Harry’s living room. His sister had come to visit him a couple days before Christmas to get the presents for their mom ready. They both had bought half of it and still needed to complete the gift basket with all the things their Mom loved, plus a coupon for a Weekend Getaway wherever she wanted.  “What’s his name?”

 

“He doesn’t have one. It’s Lili’s dog, she gets to pick a name.” Harry shrugged and got up from the couch to lay down on the floor to play with the puppy. 

 

“You care a lot about them, mhm? I mean you always try to get thoughtful gifts and don’t really care about what it costs but a dog for someone you haven’t known that long is big.” Gemma sat back down on her heels to look at her younger brother.

 

“I do. It hasn’t been long but I can see a future with Louis and Linnea is everything. But dating with my Job is hard, I’m not sure it will work out.” Harry said and looked sadly to the floor. The little puppy came running over to lick over his face. 

 

“Are you guys okay?” Harry sighed and rolled on his back, letting the puppy climb all over him. He should have bought a toy and not let Louis buy them all and store at his place. 

 

“I don’t know. I’m okay. But Louis came to visit in Mexico and he saw the mess and he got scared. Of course, he got scared! I got scared and I get mopped all the time. Ever since he’s … distant. We don’t talk as much and when we do I just know that something is bothering him but he won’t tell me what. And then he got hacked and his daughters' pictures got spread all over twitter. It’s a lot and I … I mean I hope not, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he broke things off because of it all.” 

 

Gemma left the dog alone for the first time since she arrived to look at her brother. Her serious look on her face let Harry know that she was going to give him some sort of advice. 

 

“As your big sister who doesn’t want to see you hurting I’d say fuck him if he leaves you. You deserve someone who will be by your side through the tough times. Being famous brings certain negative things and your partner needs to be okay with that. The rational part of me knows that it is a lot. It was a lot for me and Mom and Robin when you first got famous and for some reason, we were just as interesting as you. You get used to it and you figure out what you want to share and what not and you learn how to live your life with everything. But you need time to figure that out and to be fair, Louis had a lot of shit happen in a very short amount of time. I don’t think he had time to figure anything out.” 

 

“You haven’t even met him, why are you on his side?” 

 

“I’m not! I’m trying to help you. And what do you mean, his side? Nothing has happened yet, has it?” 

 

“I guess not. I just don’t want this to end. His birthday is on Christmas Eve and I wanted to surprise him, you know? Just for a couple hours before going home but I’m not even sure if he would like that.” Harry shrugged. 

 

“Oh come on, H. You guys are dating. I’m sure he wants you there. It’s always nicer to have you at home than some restaurant or something. You know … without cameras. Especially after the shit in Mexico, I’m sure he will love to have you home.” 

 

Gemma was right. They were dating, hopefully on their way to being boyfriends. He shouldn’t hide from Louis because they had problems but get his ass over there and help Louis through this. 

 

*

 

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to my best Daddy, Happy Birthday to you!” Getting woken up by his daughter on his Birthday never got old. Linnea was awake before Louis on most days and took full advantage of that fact to wake up her Daddy just like Louis did for her on her Birthday. Smiling Louis opened his eyes and took in the sight of his daughter with a Birthday muffin in her hand. She even had put a candle in it but didn’t lit it. 

 

“Thank you, Baby.” Louis let her crawl into bed and under the covers with him. “Where did you get the Muffin?”

 

“You always get me cake for my Birthday and it’s sad that you don’t get cake. I asked Uncle Niall when he picked me up yesterday to buy a Muffin for you but I didn’t use the lighter because you said no.” No matter what some Mary Lady said, Louis was really proud of his daughter. 

 

“Thank you so much, baby. Wanna share?” he was about to rip off part of the Muffin but Linnea’s screamed “No!” stopped him immediately. 

 

“Okay! Why not?” 

 

“You need to make a wish first, Daddy! You’re grown up, you can use a lighter.” Louis smiled at his daughter's innocence and threw the blankets of their bodies. 

 

“Alright. Let’s go to the kitchen.” Linnea hurried into the kitchen and waited at the table on her chair by the time that Louis got there. He found a lighter in one of the drawers and lit the candle. 

 

“Make it a good wish, Daddy.” Linnea whispered, watching closely, and Louis closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure what he should wish for, his life right now was a big enough mess that one wish alone wouldn’t be enough. He decided on  _ being happy  _ and blew out the candle. Linnea cheered for him like she saw him do for her for the last six years and was out of the door. Louis let her and ripped the muffin in half to share with his daughter before their actual breakfast. 

 

“I got you a gift! Aunt Lottie helped when you were working.” She handed him a small package and happily ate her half of the muffin while Louis took the box and opened it. In it, he found a small gold keychain. Only when he took a closer look he saw his daughters handwriting engraved.  _ I love you, Daddy _ . Louis felt the tears coming and hid them by hugging his daughter close. 

 

“Thank you, Lin. It’s a perfect gift.” 

 

“Aunt Lottie saw it on her phone and I wrote it so often! It had to be perfect for you.” Linnea told him and Louis’ birthday already couldn’t be more perfect. 

 

“I love you, baby. I’m going to put in on my keys right after breakfast. And we will decorate for Christmas!” Linnea cheered and jumped off her seat to start setting the table. It was their little tradition. Ever since Louis had Linnea he hadn’t really celebrated his Birthday. Linnea made sure to get him a gift but other than that he didn't do much. The day was reserved to prepare for Santa. But spending his Birthday with his daughter was a perfect thing for Louis. 

 

After breakfast, the small family went out to get a Christmas tree and started decorating for Christmas. Louis had put on some Spotify Christmas Playlist but after an hour of  _ Here Comes Santa Claus  _ and  _ Falala  _ Linnea asked for the Matilda Soundtrack. It was the school’s drama club production of the school year and Linnea had been cast. She was obsessed with the Soundtrack and wanted to learn every Song even the ones she wasn’t even in. His daughter was singing  _ Revolting Children  _ at the top of her lungs while Louis put the last ornaments on the tree, to high for the small girl to reach, when the doorbell rang. They didn’t expect anyone, everyone was with their families. Louis had been clear that he didn’t want to keep anyone from their families just because it was his birthday. 

 

Linnea was still doing her one-woman show on the couch but Louis went to get the door. That he was surprised and shocked at the same time when he saw Harry on the other side was an understatement. 

 

“Happy Birthday.” Harry looked so unsure and Louis wasn’t sure why. But he had a cake in his hands, a bunch of candles lit up on it. Just because it was Harry Louis was sure that there were 28 candles. On his wrist hang a gift bag. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Louis asked. “Sorry, come in.” he stepped aside and closed the doors behind them. 

 

“It’s your Birthday. You said you don’t do much but I wanted to get you a cake and your gift.” Harry shrugged. Louis felt all warm and fuzzy inside and blew out the candles to kiss Harry without the danger of burning. 

 

“Thank you. I didn’t expect anything today.” Louis took the cake and brought it into the kitchen. 

 

“Harry!” Linnea screeched as soon as she saw the singer and jumped right into his arms. “Daddy said you only come tomorrow!”

 

“I’ll come tomorrow. But I couldn’t miss daddy's Birthday, could I?” Louis heard Harry say. 

 

“It’s a very important day.” God, Louis loved his daughter. 

 

“Shouldn’t you be with your family?” As happy as Louis was to have his Harry back, he didn’t want to keep him from his family on the holidays. 

 

“I’ll be with my family. But I wouldn’t miss your Birthday, Lou.” There was something more in Harry’s eyes but Louis couldn’t say what it was. Harry wouldn’t say more either but held up the gift bag. “I got you a gift.” Louis took the bag with hesitation. He knew that Harry was very comfortable and didn't have to worry about money. That fact worried Louis in terms of what Harry got him for his Birthday. He got Linnea a bloody dog for Christmas! 

 

Louis sat down on the couch, Linnea to his left looking expectantly at the gift, Harry to his right, thighs touching. Without looking Louis put his hands in the bag and got the first thing his fingers touched. Pulling it out he saw an expense looking Notebook. 

 

“I knew you wouldn’t want anything extremely expensive. But I thought a new book for all your tattoo ideas might be nice. Look, I made them put your initials on the front.” Little gold letters spelled L.W.T. on the black leather. 

 

“Thank you. This is really nice.” Louis didn’t want to kiss Harry in front of Linnea, not when he wasn’t sure about their situation but he cuddled into his side to show Harry his affection in another way. 

 

“I’m glad you like it.” Harry put his arm around Louis and started to draw lines on his upper arm. 

 

“I’m glad you’re here.” Louis whispered something that Linnea didn’t need to hear. He felt so much more at peace and content knowing that Harry was here just for him and not for him to share with crazy fans and rude paparazzi. This was what Louis knew how to handle. A normal relationship. But leaving the flat with Harry would quickly turn into something more, something that Louis didn’t know how to handle. But this - having Harry’s warm body next to his own, Linnea on his other side back to singing Matilda, was a perfect Birthday. 

 

*

Christmas was busy. With Harry being on tour or in L.A. as much as he was he didn't have much time to see his family. Christmas was the one time they all got together and his family made sure to come and see their favorite boy. Harry was a family man and loved having all of his family members around him, but they could be a bit much. Especially when his mind was somewhere else. Spending the last day with Louis had been amazing. The other man had been the relaxed and happy version of himself that Harry knew and it felt like everything was okay again between them. They still hadn't talked but Harry felt more secure in their relationship. Linnea had performed all of the songs she would need in the musical she was in – Harry had already written down the date to make sure he could come – and after the girl had gone to bed he had helped Louis getting the presents under the tree and the couple had eaten the rest of Louis' Birthday cake. Only then had Harry driven home to his parents' house, but he wouldn't have changed any of it.

 

Now, after a loud and busy Christmas day with his family, he was ready to get back to Louis and Linnea and see how the girl would react to the still unnamed puppy. Harry had been calling him 'boy' and 'puppy' and was a bit worried that the dog would only listen to those names if they wouldn't find an actual name for him soon.

 

„Tell Louis that I want to meet him and that I need to see this cute fella again.“ Gemma spends more time saying goodbye to the puppy than to Harry. Maybe for her birthday, he should get her a dog of her own. Even though he might not like Gemma's cat.

 

„I'm actually sure that he isn't supposed to meet too many people while he's in training.“ Harry frowned. „But at one point you will see him again.“

 

„Alright. I'll see you on your Birthday.“ Gemma hugged him close and made room for Anne to hug her son.

 

„Tell Louis and his daughter a happy Christmas.“ Anne told him before sending him on his way. Harry had driven his Audi from London and used the same car to drive over to Louis'. Not sure about how Louis wanted to surprise Linnea with her puppy he sat in his car in front of Louis' building and texted him, asking what to do with the dog. He didn't really want to leave him in the car.

 

**Louis**

_ Just bring him up. I'll tell Lin that you got her gift :) x _

 

Smiling Harry left the car and took the dogs leash. It was excited and ran around as much as the leash allowed and sniffed in every corner and peed once before Harry could press the doorbell. It was a good thing, but wouldn't stop the dog from peeing again in Louis' flat. He had pissed a lot in Harry's house whenever he got excited. Harry had learned from it and let him meet everyone from his family in his mother's garden.

 

Harry could hear Louis tell Linnea that she could open the door for a surprise and Linnea telling her father that she already knew that Harry was coming over. Grinning at the girl Harry wasn't surprised when Linnea opened the door and tried to jump into Harry's arms like she always did.

 

„Careful, Lils! I got your Christmas present.“ Harry laughed and only then did Linnea see the dog to Harry's feet.

 

„For me?“ She yelled in excitement, falling to her knees and letting the puppy lick all over her face.

 

„Yeah, for you. You asked for one, didn't you?“ Linnea nodded wildly. 

 

„Lin, can we let Harry in?“ Louis appeared behind the girl cuddling her new dog on the floor, smiling at Harry.

 

„Here, take his leash.“ Harry handed over the leash and watched Linnea run into the flat with her new dog.

 

„I guess she likes him.“ Harry laughed and pulled Louis into a hug after closing the door. It felt so good to have him back in his arms.

 

„I hope so after all the asking she had done. This will help so much. Thank you.“ Louis had to slightly raise to his tiptoes to kiss Harry. It was a short kiss, both men knowing that Linnea could come running back at any time. Harry still took the time to smile in the kiss and pull Louis that much closer.

 

„You're very welcome.“ he pressed another kiss to Louis' temple before stepping away and getting rid of his jacket and shoes.

 

„Harry, what's his name?“ Linnea asked once both men walked into the living room. The young girl had unclipped the leash and the puppy was running around, exploring his new home.

 

„He doesn't have one, yet. You can name him whatever you want.“ Harry sat down on the couch.

 

„I'm gonna call him … Simba.“ It kind of fitted the small dog, but nevertheless, Harry wouldn't argue with it. It was Linnea's dog, she could call him whatever she wanted.

 

„Baby, we're going to go to school with Simba. He's going to be your special dog, okay? So you can go out by yourself with your dog.“ Louis had come back into the room, handing Harry a cup of tea before sitting down next to him.

 

„Really?!“ The look of pure joy in her eyes was enough to bring Harry joy for the next weeks.

 

„Yes. You're almost seven. It's time for you to get more independent and for me to stop worrying.“ Louis told her with a sigh.

 

„You're good at worrying.“ Linnea nodded with a serious look on her face.

 

„Simba can help both of you.“ Harry chuckled.

 

„Hopefully. Lin, go and check my bedroom. There are some more gifts.“ Louis told his daughter and watched her running into the direction, Simba hot on her heels.

 

„What other gifts did you get her?“ Harry asked.

 

„Just some toys for Simba.“ Louis shrugged. „Other than that I got her some lessons with a ukulele teacher in town. She loves to play and wants to learn more songs. Oh, and a weekend in Brighton. My family has a house there and Lin loves going there.“

 

„Sounds nice.“

 

„It is. Even though it's not a fancy holiday it's still nice and I think Lin enjoys it more because she knows that I'm all hers and there is no way that I could work late or something like that.“

 

„You do work a lot.“ Harry said quietly but not in a taunting way, Louis knew that. But he still felt the need to explain himself.

 

„Lin will always come first. But to give her all that she needs I do need to work. Now that you kinda gave my tattoo studio fame we have a lot new clients. I do work more but I also make more money to get Linnea things she will enjoy and things she asks for. I don't want to be the parent who's always away working but I also don't want to be the parent who has to say no.“

 

„I know, Lou. And I told you before, I think you're doing a pretty amazing job with Linnea. You know that she doesn't like it when you work and you give her what she needs in a weekend away. You're a great parent.“

 

„I just don't want to fuck her up. Or our relationship. Mom always said that the first child is the one you fuck up or practice on and then with the next ones you know how to do things. And that I shouldn't be afraid of messing up.“

 

„You're her first one, aren't you. She didn't mess you up.“ Louis wanted to argue but Linnea came back into the room with a soft toy in her hand, Simba jumping around her.

 

„He's the best dog ever! It's a good thing I won't squeeze him as much as I want to, or he'd go Bang!“ she screamed out and threw the toy, Simba running after it. The Tomlinson Household had never been a quiet one, but with the new family member, Louis was sure that even the rare quiet moments were now history.

 

*

 

Louis' good mood held on until close to New Year's Eve. He was just about to go to the park with Linnea to look one more time at all the Christmas decorations before they would put them down when he got a text message from Niall.

 

**Niall**

_ There's an article about you and Harry. They figured out Lin's name and that she has epilepsy. I don't know how they found out but they aren't writing very nice things. Do you want the link? _

 

Louis hadn't been worrying about his life with Harry and what it would mean over the last couple of days. Ever since his Birthday, ever since Harry had been back, Louis had been simply happy to have Harry close. Having him in his flat where he knew how the rules were and how to act correctly everything had been great. But the real world had caught up and it was throwing Louis back into the black hole that was his thoughts and problems.

 

He didn't even want to read the article. Knowing that it existed was enough. He could get used to people talking shit about him but his daughter was a different story. She was too young to really understand what was happening and she was too innocent to get written about in a rude way. Louis knew that he needed to talk to Harry about it. He needed to figure this out. He needed to find a way to exist in this new world.

 

„Daddy, can we go?“ Linnea was already dressed in her small winter boots, long hair under her beanie and her winter coat making her the cutest girl in Louis' eyes. He decided to deal with the article later, locked his phone and put on his own coat. Today was for him and Linnea and he wouldn't let anything rune that.

 

Hours later, after a hot chocolate, a Disney movie, dinner on the couch and two bedtime stories, Louis had gotten Niall to come over and babysit so that he could drive all the way to London to talk to Harry. Louis had thought a lot about their situation and came to a decision that he didn't want to discuss over the phone.

 

„Do I need to bring ice cream? Alcohol?“ Niall had asked before coming over. He was the kind of friend that just knew what was going on without Louis needing to say it out loud.

 

„I don't think so.“ Louis had answered but now that he was sitting in his car in front of Harry's house he wasn't so sure about that. He felt like crying already and nothing had happened yet! Trying to calm himself down he finally got out of the car and pressed the bell. Harry obviously hadn't expected him – or anyone – as it took him a while to answer the door. Louis wanted to cry again when he saw Harry standing in his doorway, the light showing his silhouette perfectly, making him look so much more special. 

 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Harry asked with a mixture of confusion and worry. He still hugged him close and Louis fell into the hug and breathed in the familiar scent. 

 

“I need to talk to you.” with that statement alone Harry knew what was going on. His eyes immediately turned sad and he nodded, closing the door and getting them both into the living room. 

 

“What’s going on?” Harry asked quietly.

 

“Too much.” Louis said shakily. “I don’t know how to handle any of it. You’re everything, Harry. I know that what comes with your job isn’t your fault and I know that you did everything you could to make me happy. This is 100% my problem.” Harry took Louis’ hands in his and even though this didn’t make it easier, he wasn’t going to pull them away. 

 

“I’m … so many people at once, Harry. I’m a father and I have the responsibility to keep my daughter safe. I don’t know how to do that right now. I’m dating you and want this to grow and us to be happy but I don’t know how to give myself to you when I don’t know how to function in your world. I don’t know how to act and what decisions to make to make just  _ Louis  _ happy. Harry, I just want to be happy.” he didn’t even try to hide his tears at this point. “And I don’t know how.” 

 

Harry didn’t react but held Louis’ hands a bit tighter and Louis was thankful. He needed to get this off his chest before he got too scared to do it. 

 

“I’m not trying to hurt you, Harry. But I need to figure this out and I want to do this in my time. I don’t know how long it will take me to find a solution but I want to be fair and … not keep you in this mess.” Harry was silently crying and it broke Louis’ heart this bit more. “Let me take my time, get used to everything and make sure Lin is safe and happy. Live your life and if you find someone …” Louis couldn’t help the sob escaping him. “If you find someone then that’s okay.” 

 

“I don’t want to.” Harry cried. “I want you to be happy but I don’t want to lose you.” 

 

“I’m not breaking up with you, I’m just-”

 

“Breaking up with me.” Harry finished Louis’ sentence and he couldn’t really argue. 

“I’m so sorry.” On pure instinct, Louis rested his head on Harry’s shoulder and cried into his shirt. Harry wrapped his arms around the smaller man and Louis could feel his tears damping his hair. Breaking up sucked. The small part in Louis that was convinced 

That this was the right thing to do grew smaller and smaller and all that was left was pain and heartbreak.

 

*

 

Harry had seen it coming. Even though Louis' Birthday and Christmas had given him back some hope, he had known that Louis wouldn't want to stay with him. It was too much. He wasn't family. He didn't have a responsibility to stay and deal with it. Louis was simply a fan that discovered that all of this was too much.

 

Only that Louis wasn't just a fan. He was the man that Harry wanted as his partner, boyfriend, husband, soulmate. Louis was the man Harry was slowly falling in love with. Louis was also the man that broke Harry's heart a week ago.

 

Even though Louis had asked for time to make sense of everything and didn't kick Harry out of his life, Harry couldn't deal with Louis in his life so soon after their break up. The logical thing to do was to leave the country – at least in Harry's mind, it was. His team wanted him to write for the next album anyway, so why not fly to L.A. earlier than planned and start writing. At least he wouldn't have to see Louis and hurt even more than he already did.

 

Writing wasn't really happening, though. He showed up at the studio and sat down with his little notebook and pen and he wrote and wrote and wrote. Lyric after Lyric. Song after Song. None of them were approved by his team, apparently all of them too sad and depressed. Harry wanted to through his notebook at them and yell at them that this was what happened when you got dumped, but didn't. Instead, he went home and lay down in his dark bedroom. His shirt rides up a bit when he lay down, high enough to show his laurels tattoo. The fucking tattoo Louis had done. It had been such a nice day with them having something like a family day. It had been the first time that Harry had seen what his future could be. His family. A life with child drawings, Disney movies, and family outings. But that was over. Louis had decided that he wasn't worth it, that he should find someone else. Who could ever compare to  _ Louis _ ?!

 

Hot tears were rolling down Harry's face he didn't try to hold back or brush off. His heart had been broken, he felt more alone than ever and he wished more than anything that the day in Mexico had never happened. He just wanted Louis. Happy, Smiley Louis. Even Sad Louis, as long as he was  _ his Louis.  _ Harry fumbled for his notebook, always in reach, and wrote down some lyrics. It was a mess, he didn't turn the light on and with the tears in his eyes, he couldn't see much anyway. But he had to get his feelings out and he only knew how to do that with Lyrics. Nothing could compare to Louis and he needed the man to know.

 

_ Since you been gone I can do what I want _

_ I can see whomever I choose _

_ I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant _

_ But nothing _

_ I said nothing can take away these blues _

_ 'Cause nothing compares _

_ Nothing compares to you _

 

*

 

Louis did his best to stay strong. Everything in him hurt and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in his bed and cry for days but he had a daughter. And she didn't need to see her Daddy crying and falling apart. Not that crying was something bad, but she didn't need to worry about her Dad. Niall did his best to help both of them. He took Linnea to a lot of playdates to give Louis a couple hours to cry his eyes out and always made sure to stay late to be the best friend Louis needed after Linnea was in bed.

 

It was how they found themselves on Louis' bed, each with a bottle of beer, talking about life. Or Louis talking about his life and how messy it was.

 

„What do I do, Niall? Be happy and not care about my child's safety or care about her safety and die of heartbreak.“

 

„First of all, you won't die of heartbreak.“

 

„You can! I read something about that.“ Louis argued.

 

„Stop reading shit. Honestly, if you'd stop looking up weird stuff about yourself, you wouldn't know what people say about you and you wouldn't worry.“

 

„And how do I keep Lin safe when I don't know what people say?“ Louis asked.

 

„Every time this one kids' mother talks shit, do you want her to just disappear?“ Niall asked and yes, of course, Louis would love for Mary to stop telling him how he fucks up his daughter.

 

„And do you change because of what she says?“ Niall kept asking.

 

„I don't know. Maybe? I do question myself as a father.“ Louis shrugged. 

 

„But that's a fear you have ever since I met you. No matter how many people tell you how good you are as a father and how amazing Lin turned out, you find that one negative comment and use it show the world all the things you think you're doing wrong.“

 

„Your point?“

 

„My point is, that your fears and insecurities aren't new. And you know how to deal with them as long as everyone around you is positive. It takes a Mary that sends you spiraling into this mess. And right now all over Twitter are thousands of Mary's that have an opinion about how you raise Lin. Of course, you question yourself, this is all you know to do.“

 

„I don't know how this helps me.“

 

„You want to be happy, Lou. And I think that you won't be for as long as you haven't worked through those insecurities. They keep you from Harry, they keep you from being a proud parent and they keep you from truly being you. You don't question yourself as much when you don't see negative shit. My advice? Delete your social media. Get rid of everything that can hurt you or Lin. Don't post about Lin, don't give them new information that they can use against you. Live your life, do your job, raise Lin and forget social media exists.“

 

„I should look into therapy or something. Make my life easier for myself.“ Louis mumbled and took a sip of his beer.

 

„If you feel like you need it, do it. I can watch Lin while you're in sessions. I'd still try to get rid of social media.“ Louis reached for his phone that was lying next to him on his bed and went from Twitter to Instagram to Youtube and deleted all of his accounts. He didn't feel much of a difference but Niall was right. He did use every negative thing he saw to show the world how shit he was at being a father, how he wasn't keeping Linnea safe enough. Louis needed to learn to be a proud father, proud of what he was doing, confident in his ability.

 

Louis sighed and lay down on his back. Hopefully, this helped. Therapy would be really expensive, something that he couldn't afford. Not with Linnea and her puppy around. Even though he still had a good amount of clients every day thanks to Harry, he couldn't pay for weekly therapy.

 

Harry.

 

„I really miss Harry.“

 

*

 

„He deleted everything, Gem! What does this even mean? Is he okay? Even his business Instagram was deleted.“ Checking up on Louis every day on social media wasn't going to help anything, but Harry didn't even plan on getting over Louis so whatever. But seeing that all of his accounts had been deactivated and Harry had no resource to check up on Louis threw him in a state of panic.

 

„You could call him and ask.“ The same useless idea she had pitched to him a couple times now. Harry sighed into the phone annoyed.

 

„He wanted space, Gemma. How am I giving him space when I call to ask something stupid like that?“

 

„I've been in his shoes, H. It's not really space from you he wants. He wants space from this life. You just want to press pause until everything makes a bit more sense. I promise you, if you would call him and offer to help him figure this out, or just offer to be there for him, he would rely on you.“

 

„He knows that.“

 

„Does he? Because if you didn't tell him, jetting off to Los Angeles doesn't really say  _ I'm here for you _ .“ Harry could feel his sister judge him.

 

„I don't know why I thought you would be on my side.“ Harry mumbled.

 

„If you want to be cuddled and told how mean the world is, go talk to Mom. I'm just telling you the truth, Harry.“ It's why he had called his sister in the first place. She didn't hold back with her opinion.

 

„You're my little brother, H. Of course, I want you to be happy. But you need to decide what you want to do. Fight for your relationship, be there for Louis and deal with all of it together, or forget about it. But if you want to move on you really should stop checking up on him on social media.“

 

„I have to stop it, he deactivated.“ Harry whined. At the same time that Gemma sighed annoyed through the phone, his doorbell went. „Nick's here. He wants me to go out to find a rebound.“

 

„You might want to think about what you want to do about Louis before you find one. You're still famous. If you go home tonight with someone, Louis will see.“

 

„Why does everyone think it's that easy to find someone else? I gotta go, Gems. Love you.“ he said a quick goodbye when his doorbell went again. Harry wasn't to keen on leaving his house and didn't put any effort into his outfit.

 

„You do not look like someone who wants to get fucked.“ Nick told him as soon as the door was open.

 

„Because I don't want to get fucked, Nick. I want Louis.“ He threw himself on the couch and Nick sat down next to him.

 

„Your loverboy dumped you last year, Harry. It's time to get over him and stop writing songs that get everyone depressed.“

 

„It's January. It hasn't even been a month. And anyway, the last song I wrote was good! The label liked it.“

 

„Great! Then we are going out for drinks to celebrate that! C'mon, Harry! I'm not trying to be mean but you need to leave the house.“

 

„Fine. But only one drink and no matchmaking.“ Harry warned Nick and went to put on his shoes.

 

„Promise!“ Nick called after him and got busy calling them a driver.

 

Nick broke his promise an hour into their night out. After one drink and Harry sulking in their booth, Liam turned up and got him convinced that they should get a drink together. From there it just got worse. Harry quickly figured out that he felt a lot better with alcohol in his blood, everything was a bit fussy and he felt happy.

 

„H, the guy at the bar just asked for your name.“ Liam told him when he came back with another round of drinks. Harry happily grabbed one and drank half of it before putting the glass down.

 

„Who?“ he asked. Liam pointed at a pretty redhead who was already looking at them. He looked nice. Harry waved at him to be polite. The pretty redhead waved back at him. Louis was prettier. His thoughts still with Louis, Harry didn't even realize that the guy was coming over.

 

„Hey, I'm Roger.“

 

„'m Harry.“ The pretty redhead – Roger – sat down next to Harry in their booth. His hair looked so soft, just like Louis'. He needed to touch, so he did just that, but pulled his hand back immediately when he felt the stiff strands.

 

„What?“ Roger laughed.

 

„Your hair's not soft. I don't like it.“ he pouted and drank the rest of his beer. The alcohol made his vision go crazy.

 

„Harry.“ Liam laughed.

 

„Was that rude?“ Harry asked with wide eyes. „Mom raised me not to be rude. I'm sorry if I was rude.“ the singer rested his head against Roger's shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment, waiting for the world to stop spinning. „I'm so drunk.“

 

„Want to lay down?“ Roger asked and laying down sounded like a great idea so Harry nodded. „My flat isn't far.“ and what? No, he didn't want a stranger's bed. He wanted his bed that had Louis' shirt in it that still smelt like him.

 

„Need my Louis.“ he drunkenly slurred against Roger’s shoulder.

 

„What's your Louis?“ Roger laughed and Harry sat up frowning. Nobody was allowed to laugh at his Louis.

 

„He's everything.“ he told him. „And I need him. Liam?“ he whined to his best friend.

 

„Okay, let's get you home.“ When Roger wouldn't move Harry slit all the way around the booth to exit from the other side. The world wouldn't stop spinning and he had to catch himself on Nick's shoulder to not fall over.

 

„Harry!“ Nick wasn't the best at standing either, Harry detected. But after a second he balanced himself and helped Harry. „Let's get you in  _ your  _ bed.“

 

His bed with Louis.

 

*

 

„So, you're okay with occasional pictures?“ Louis asked. He had come to work early to talk to Briana about how to deal with Linnea in the public eye. It was something he needed to discuss with his ex in private. Linnea was, in their eyes, too young to have an opinion on the matter.

 

„If you want to be with Harry, Fans and Paparazzi will take pictures. I don't plan on keeping you from Harry, so there isn't anything we can do about it. We can't hide her and I wouldn't want to. I guess it's still okay to post pictures about her, just maybe not as many and not any pictures that might embarrass her when she's older.“

 

„Right. How do you feel about nasty articles being written about her? Because I hate it. She's innocent and a little girl and the media shouldn't write shit about her having seizures or anything.“ He also didn't like how the media likes to paint him as a bad parent, but he didn't say that.

 

„Again, we can't do anything about them. The best we can do is ignore them. You'll get a lot of attention and can use it to spread awareness about Epilepsy. I think that would be nice. But it doesn't help anyone if we start fights with the media.“

 

„Are you really okay with me being with Harry?“ Louis asked quietly. „Because of Lin?“

 

„You know my dream is to be actually successful and famous with my work. I want to design for the rich and famous. If that should ever work, I'm not going to hide my daughter. I don't want to put her in the spotlight, but I will live my life as a mother with her child. Now, you're the famous one and I still think that it's the best way to handle this with Lin.“

 

„Thank you.“

 

„For what?“ Briana laughed.

 

„For not giving me another reason why I shouldn't be with Harry.“

 

„It's a lot and it's shit that our child is in the middle of it, but I'm sure you can figure this out together. He knows his life and this business, Lou. Now that you know how I feel and we know how we want to handle this, you should talk to Harry about what his idea for her safety is.“

 

„Everyone keeps telling me that I should just be with Harry. But it's fucking scary, Bri.“

 

„I know. But if he's worth it, you're going to do it anyway.“

  
  


Louis still thought about that an hour later when Rosa arrived. Harry had asked him before if this was worth it and Louis had said yes. He had meant it and deep down he knew that Harry would be worth it. Niall and Briana were right as well. He kept asking himself how he was supposed to keep Linnea safe when the person who knew everything about it was right there. He was also the person Louis had pushed away.

 

„Hey, Lou. You okay?“ Rosa asked and Louis smiled and nodded. He was good. He would be really good after talking to Harry.

 

„So you don't care about what the girls out there are saying?“ she asked and Louis got a bad feeling.

 

„What are they saying?“

 

„That Harry's cheating on you. I don't know if you're really dating or if it's just a rumor but there are pictures everywhere of him with some guy in a club.“ For twelve hours Louis' life had been good. He had made a decision that would get him happiness in the end, he deleted everything that was toxic in his life and for once he felt good about what he was doing. All of that didn't matter though when Rosa pulled out her phone to show him the pictures. Harry seemed to have taken Louis by his word and found someone else.

 

Louis had fucked up.

  
  



	4. Ch. 04 – Even though I'd die to see you, I don't trust myself to meet you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot the little mood board at the beginning. I'll post it later!

**Ch. 04 – Even though I'd die to see you, I don't trust myself to meet you**

 

_Gateway Drug – Bebe Rexha (All Your Fault Pt. 1; 2017)_

 

 

Two weeks without social media could really change you, Louis learned. When Niall told him that he focused too much on other people's opinion of himself, Louis had known that it was true. That wasn't new information. He knew that he always felt bad about himself after checking comments on his pictures or simply seeing other people pictures with supposedly perfect lives. It got worse when Harry's fans found him and all of the sudden the entire world had an opinion about him. But to what extend Niall's statement was true, Louis only realized in those two weeks. He was way more in the present, he was more focused on Linnea and what the two of them needed and how they enjoyed their time together. And he was happy with his decisions. With nobody around to tell him that chocolate after dinner is a bad parenting move, he felt good about it.

 

In those two weeks, he felt happier. Without scrolling through his social media feeds whenever he had time, he had now time to think about everything in a calm matter. He had known that being with Harry was what he wanted. He had talked to Briana to make sure that she was okay with it. He had the feeling that he was prepared. Now, that he hadn't spoken to Harry in so long, he realized that he would have been absolutely unprepared two weeks ago. He never ended up texting or calling Harry. The only reason would be to try their relationship again and as much as it hurts to know that he was stupid enough to end something that made him happy, only for someone else to see it and take it, he knew that it was Harry's choice and he needed to respect that. Maybe they could be friends one day, but for now, it simply hurts to even think about what they could have had but lost. He didn't need a Harry in his life only to be reminded all the time that he had a boyfriend that wasn't Harry.

 

But some fans out there didn't want this to end. They were strong believers that Louis and Harry were meant to be and that they just needed a break. Other's were convinced that they were still a couple and this guy in the pictures was for PR reasons. That's all that Louis had found the one day he had cheated after seeing the pictures. But whatever the reason for their beliefs was, they were still waiting for Louis in front of his shop. Louis had thought about that, too. All the time that he spent complaining about them, he never thought about what the situation really was. Every single fan that was there, was respectful enough not to scream or jump him or mob him. Sure, he wasn't a fan of pictures taking without his consent. But other than that they were really peaceful and calm fans. One thing Louis wanted for his daughter was to grow into a strong, kind and brave young woman. The young father realized that he should start acting the way he wanted his child to be.

 

„Good Morning!“, he greeted the small group of fans. They weren't a lot, most of them had disappeared after he stopped spending time with Harry. But he had started to be kind to the ones that were left.

 

„Hi Louis, I hope you have a good day.“ one of the girls told him. This was nice. Louis should've started this sooner.

 

„So far it is.“, he answered and took three pictures with fans before entering his studio.

 

„You tamed them." Rosa greeted him with wide eyes.

 

"Looks like it." Louis laughed.

 

„You only have three appointments today and the first one is in an hour. But-“ she grabbed a bunch of paper to hand Louis. „I have a lot of paperwork for you to sign.“

 

„Fun times.“ Louis laughed and grabbed the papers, a pen and walked into his tattoo room to read everything at the table he had in there.

 

*

 

„ _And if you like going places we can't even pronounce_

_If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about_

_Baby, you're perfect_

_Baby, you're perfect_

_So let's start right now.“_

 

„We got it, thank you!“ Mark, Harry's producer, told him through his headphones and the singer gave a thumbs up back and left the recording booth after pulling off his headphones.

 

„Can we listen back before we leave?“ Harry asked and picked up the water bottle to get rid of the dryness in his mouth from all the singing he had done today. The album was coming together nicely. Most of his songs were about break-ups and the hope for a relationship but that was what took up Harry's time at the moment and his team was happy enough with the outcome. It was a win-win situation, really. He could finally make sense of his feelings, his team would get the album they wanted and his fans would have new songs to love.

 

„Sure.“ Mark pushed a couple buttons and the opening notes to Perfect – how Harry had named the song – started to play. Harry was a perfectionist. Especially when it came to albums, simply because he wanted to sound good on the medium that would be available to people forever. But he had to admit that for a first run-through and this late after a lot of singing, it wasn't too bad. „Lyrics and Melody work really nicely if you ask me.“ Mark told him.

 

„Yeah, I agree. It's also the first song that isn't screaming 'I'm heartbroken'.“ Harry chuckled even though it wasn't really funny.

 

„Whatever your inspiration is, I hope it stays the way it is until the album is finished. This is going to be a good one.“ Mark stopped the song and looked to Harry for further instructions.

 

„I like it. I do want to record it again tomorrow with a fresh voice and I think I want to change the music a bit. But I'm too tired, now. It would just be half-hearted and I don't want that.“ Harry started packing up his things while Mark shut down the music and recording system.

 

„Sounds good. Have a nice night.“ Harry thanked him before leaving the studio and taking the lift to underground parking where his range rover was parked. He felt too tired to actually drive home and just sat in his car for a bit, checking his phone. His Mum had texted, a couple friends asked if he wanted to go out and someone from his team had called. He texted everyone back but decided to call back his team in the morning. He was done being Harry Styles for the day and his team had to accept and respect that. Lastly, before finally going home, he scrolled through Twitter. He wasn't big on actually posting but he liked to read what his fans or friends had to say.

 

He still followed some of the self-proclaimed Larry Fans. He had found joy in their tweets back when the two actually had been an item. Now it mostly brought back memories that would end up in a song. As they couldn't get new material to gush over they had mostly talked about things that already happened. But today Harry had pictures on his timeline with fans and Louis. The singer couldn't believe that Louis actually had taken pictures. He saved some and zoomed in on them. Louis looked … happy. Relaxed. Even his eyes were smiling in the pictures. What Harry confused the most was that Louis hadn't contacted him. All that Louis had asked for was time to find his place in Harry's world. From the look of it he had found his place. Why wasn't he knocking on Harry's door? Why was Harry not with Louis?! Flying over to the U.K. And knocking on his door might be a bit much, but Harry needed to know. He had given Louis the space he wanted but now it looked like they might actually be ready to try this again. Before he could chicken out and think it over on his drive home the singer sent a text to his ex.

 

**Louis**

Hey! How are you? I saw some pictures and you looked happy :) x

 

*

 

Louis had been so good at ignoring Harry's existence that his text message threw him off guard. What was he supposed to do? Answer that he was happy? That he found his own way to deal with the little fame he got? Should he address Harry's new relationship? Congratulate him? Simply having the text message on his display brought back all the feelings Louis didn't want to feel. Mostly hurt and anger at himself for letting Harry go, _telling him_ to find someone else and Harry for actually listening to him.

 

Harry was an incredible human being. He was kind. He treated everyone with respect even though the world was far from giving him respect. He always made sure his loved ones were safe. He gave so much attention to everyone, that even a stranger felt important around Harry. He was fun. He was caring. He was loving. Everyone should have a Harry in his life. Louis should be thanking the stars that Harry still wanted to be with him and accept what Harry was giving him. But there was the pain. Louis wasn't over Harry. Far from it. And he didn't know what to do.

 

„Are you looking at sad puppy posts?“ Niall asked and pulled Louis out of his thoughts. They had a little family outing, Louis, Linnea, and Niall. A new indoor playground had opened in the next town and Niall had taken it upon itself as part of his Job as godfather to invite father and daughter. Linnea was happy running around and playing with kids her age while Niall and Louis sat on one of the benches, enjoying cake and coffee.

 

„No, why?“ Louis asked and put his phone down.

 

„You look tortured. What's going on?“ Louis sighed. Of course Niall knew about their disaster dating phase but he – as far as Louis knew – was under the impression that Louis was over and done with Harry.

 

„It's Harry's Birthday.“

 

„Okay … and?“

 

„And he sent me a text a couple days ago and I don't know how to answer. I'm not over him, Niall. I don't think I want to be. But he's got this boyfriend and I don't want to ruin that but I also don't want to play best friends with Harry and having to see all the time how someone else was happy and got what I voluntary lost.“

 

„Whoa, wait a second. Since when does Harry have a boyfriend?“ Louis looked at his friend unimpressed. He was the one with deleted social media. Niall was able to see new pictures of the happy couple every day.

„Rosa showed me. They were at some club a couple weeks ago.“

 

„Yeah, but that was a one-time thing. They didn't even leave together. And ever since he was only seen on his own and as it seemed he does nothing but work in the studio.“ Niall knew crazy much about Harry's life and he made sure to tell him that. „I follow a very reliable source on Twitter. It's a Harry Update Account.“

 

„Seriously?“ Louis laughed lightly, but really, he probably would do the same.

 

„Does it matter? You're not talking to Harry because of that guy? There is no guy, so pick up your phone and call him. Or at least text him a happy birthday, the poor lad is probably waiting for it.“ Louis couldn't believe Niall. Not because Niall wasn't trustworthy, but because he had experienced first hand how the media and fans took one picture and made someone completely else out of it. But ignoring Harry on his Birthday was probably a bit too rude.

 

**H.**

I'm fine thanks. Happy Birthday! I hope you have a nice day.

 

It wasn't the most personal text message but for now, Louis didn't want to give Harry hope where was none. He needed to find out more about Harry's relationship status, just to be sure.

 

„Done. I texted Harry.“

 

„Is Harry coming to visit us again?“ An excited Linnea asked, running up to them. She obviously only had heard the last bit of their conversation.

 

„No, squirt. I just wished him a Happy Birthday.“ Louis told her and gave her the piece of cake they had saved for her. Her face was red from all the running but she looked so happy that Louis couldn't help but take a picture of her. It was weird to not immediately share it with the world but at the same time, it was also nice to have it for himself.

 

„It's Harry's Birthday? I don't have a gift! Or made a card.“

 

„Baby, you don't need to.“

 

„We're friends. Can I send a card? I will write to him that I'm sorry that it's late but he's the bestes Harry and happy birthday.“ Linnea nodded to herself and dug into her cake. The girl had never really asked about Harry and why he wasn't around or called anymore. Talking about Birthday cards was the first moment Louis really realized how much his daughter must miss Harry. He had been a part of their lives, not just Louis'.

 

„Sometimes it's worth taking the risk.“ Niall whispered and Louis knew that. Doesn't make it any less scary.

 

„Daddy, in the school show Matilda punishes her parents because they did something bad. Did Harry do something bad? Are you punishing him?“ God, where did Linnea's mind go?! Sometimes, having a kid was brutal. What was the saying? Only kids and alcohol tell the truth? Well, Louis agreed to the first one.

 

„You know, Lin. I think I'm punishing myself. How about, on our way home, we pick up some small gifts for Harry and send him a birthday package?“

 

„Yes! I can make the card, too!“ Louis smiled at his daughter, heart beating faster knowing once more that he might have a chance after all. Niall next to him squeezed his arm and Louis understood it as the _I'm proud of you_ that Louis hoped it had meant.

 

*

 

Louis was straightforward with his feelings. He might overthink everything – and drove Harry crazy doing it – but once he was sure about his feelings he made sure to give people around him nicknames and got touchy-feely and just showed verbal and non-verbal how he cared about people. Which is why Harry was ready to give up every hope he still had after Louis' birthday message. No smiley, no kisses, no nicknames. It was like they were strangers again. Well, that was a lie. Even in their early messages, Louis had been way more friendly. But then again, he did wish him a happy birthday. He hadn't given up on them completely. All his life Harry had been the romantic that feel too hard too fast but always knew where he stood. But with Louis Harry almost never knew what was happening. It made this thing more exciting but also made him anxious and frustrated.

 

He took it out on weights and the boxing sat whenever he'd go to the gym. Some days he rather ran until his thoughts stopped spinning around _LouisWorkLouisWork._ Sweaty but Satisfied Harry got back from the gym to Tom, who worked in the Lobby, handing him a package. His heart started beating almost painful against his chest as soon as he saw the children drawings all over the box. He had a couple friends with children but even without looking at the sender Harry knew that it was from Linnea. Instantly happier and anxious to open the package Harry thanked Tom and hurried up to his apartment.

 

He didn't even bother with a shower, just left his bag, jacket, and shoes at the door and sat down on the couch, sweaty as he was. His long, sweaty hair kept falling down in his eyes and not for the first time he just wanted to cut off his curls. With his keys, he cut the tape and opened the package. Instantly he felt tears burning in his eyes. Father and daughter and glued blue paper on all four flaps and wrote on them 'A little something out of the blue'. The box was filled with little things. This had been made with way too much love for Louis to not care anymore. One after another Harry pulled out the gifts. A box of his favorite tea with a note 'for the late nights in the studio'. A Birthday card from Linnea. A photograph of Linnea with Simba and the note 'for your office'. A picture of Louis and Harry, being happy and looking lovingly at each other with the note 'cherish the memories'. A cake mix with the note 'have some birthday cake!'. A picture frame that had 'family' engraved with a picture of the three of them with the note 'we want you to be part of our family'. Lastly, there was a letter addressed to Harry in Louis' handwriting with his little smiley face that he doodled everywhere. Harry already felt so many things, he wasn't sure how to survive a letter written by Louis.

 

_Harry,_

 

_Linnea asked me today if I was punishing you for being bad. To be honest, I think I'm punishing both of us and I want to stop. No matter in what way I can have you, I will be happy to take it. You are so important to me and to Lin. And we really miss you. I have a shit ton of thoughts right now and if I write them all down this is going to turn into a novel. I'd rather talk to you. So … if you still want us … me … call me? I promise I will pick up._

 

_Lou xx_

 

Harry didn't waste any time. He brushed away his tears, grabbed his phone and texted Louis.

 

**Louis**

I'm coming to London. When are you free? I want to hear those shit ton of thoughts of yours :) Miss you, too! Xxx

 

*

 

„Listen to uncle Niall, okay? I'll pick you up tomorrow morning.“ Louis kneeled in front of his daughter making sure she really heard him. But the little girl was too excited about her sleepover at her uncles to really listen.

 

„Yes, Daddy! Bye! Love you.“ And gone she was, Simba running behind her, ready to play.

 

„Thanks for Babysitting.“ Louis told his friend after getting back up on his feet.

 

„Of course. We're going to have lots of fun. And I hope you will, too.“ Niall raised a pointed eyebrow.

 

„Me too. I do plan on making this work, you know?“

 

„I know. But I'm not the one you need to tell this.“

 

„Alright, Smartypants.“ Louis laughed. „Her meds are in her bag. Make sure she takes them. And let me know what time I should pick her up.“

 

„I know her for six years, of course, I won't forget her meds. Go, Louis. Have fun. Get your man.“ Laughing Louis hugged Niall goodbye and left his building. Nerves were kicking in as soon as he was back home, staring at this closet. After Harry's text, they had decided on meeting at a restaurant that Harry would organize. They wanted to have privacy but it felt right to be on neutral grounds to discuss everything. But knowing Harry, and Harry's bank account, Louis was pretty sure that it wouldn't be dinner at some fast food restaurant that his day to day clothes might make him underdressed.

 

But his closet only gave so many options. After sending pictures to his sisters he finally decided on black jeans, a black shirt and a thin Jacket that wasn't made for the cold February air. It was the best he could do for an expensive setting. He had to combine it with his sneakers but oh well. Harry knew him and what he could afford. With a beating heart, he locked the door and went downstairs where his uber was already waiting. This felt like a big night and he didn't want to spend an hour on a train.

 

His suspicion was confirmed when his uber driver pulled up in front of a restaurant, a worker waiting to park his car. Yep. Expensive. The entry looked like a hotel entrance, ferry lights gave it all a beautiful light. It must be popular with the rich and famous as Paparazzi were standing around the entrance, waiting for guests that would pay for their lives. With a deep breath, Louis opened the door. He wanted Harry and this was part of his life. He should get used to it. Louis thanked the driver and left the car with a tight smile to the TYP. It was obvious that you don't normally arrive here by uber. Louis went inside and asked for a reservation under Styles and was let to the back where a nervous but beautiful looking Harry was already sitting in a private booth. It was in a corner and no windows around them. Perfect, for what they came here for.

 

„Hey, Harry.“ he said, a bit unsure, before sitting down. Harry's head flew up, his long curls bouncing, and looked wide-eyed at Louis. „You didn't expect someone else, did you?“ Louis asked with a smile and Harry shook his head.

 

„Course not. I'm just so glad to see you.“ Louis smiled and put off his jacket. In all black, he felt like he could actually fit in here.

 

„I'm glad you texted.“

 

„I'm glad you sent the package! I was starting to lose hope.“ It could've been a joke, but nothing in Harry's voice or mimic suggested that he was joking. Okay, the heavy conversation just started.

 

„I just didn't want to interfere with your relationship. Or have to hear about it all the time.“ Harry looked at him confused but before he could question Louis the waitress came with their drinking order. With two glasses of wine in front of them, Harry leaned forward to ask Louis „What relationship?“

 

„I don't know who he is, but I saw a picture of you two in some club.“ Louis shrugged. It seemed like Niall had been right and he felt a bit stupid for even bringing it up.

 

„And you believed what the media said?“ Harry actually looked hurt.

 

„I don't know what the media said. I deleted all my social media, Harry. Rosa showed me those pictures and I was ready to ask you to try this – us – again that day. But it looked like you had found someone else, so I stopped and kept my distance.“ Louis ended his rant with a big gulp of his wine.

 

„I don't even remember his name. Nick wanted me to get laid. I went along, I got drunk but all I could think about … was you. Nick and Liam took me home. I know that I get touchy-feeling when I'm drunk but I would never do more than look for a cuddle when I'm with someone.“ Harry looked so sincere that it almost hurt Louis.

 

„You could have. You weren't with me.“ Louis said quietly.

 

„You broke up with me, Louis. But I can't just forget someone like you. All I wanted was for you to find your way in this crazy world and come back to me. And those fan pictures looked like you found your way.“ Harry almost asked hopefully.

 

„I'm still not sure about things but I need your help with those. I did think a lot about it though.“

 

„Your shit ton of thoughts?“ Harry asked with a smile after the waiter took their meal order.

 

„Yeah.“ Louis laughed.

 

„Okay, tell me. I want to hear them all.“ Harry encouraged him.

 

„Well, my biggest concern in all of this is my daughter. I can make the choice to be with you and I know what that brings with it. Lin doesn't. She would be forced into your world. But I thought about it and I talked to Bri and we decided that we're okay with it. Of course, we want to keep her and her privacy as far away from everything as possible, at least until she can make a decision herself about it. But we don't want to hide her. When it comes to her safety I need your help. I don't know what I can do but you have a lot of experience. My main concern is what if we are out, all three of us, and there is a big group of paparazzi. All the flashlights could trigger a seizure and I firstly don't want her to have a seizure to begin with, but definitely not in front of so many cameras.“

 

„I thought about that, actually. When I was reading those books on epilepsy.“ Harry told him and Louis was almost surprised. But then again – this was Harry. „I think it's only really bad when it's dark as well, right? The easy solution is that we don't go out when it's dark. Or, something that would also work with her privacy, she gets carried and can hide her face in your neck.“ That didn't sound too bad. „I don't think you will have any problems with fan mopping when you're without me, but if it ever comes to that point, I, of course, will give you two security. That's not even a question, I need you two safe.“

 

„Thank you. Another thing is, that I don't really know what my role in your life is.“

 

„Well, you're my partner, if you want that.“ Harry shrugged.

 

„I know. It's more like … I have a job. During work hours I'm Louis Tomlinson Tattoo Artist. When I go home I'm Louis Tomlinson Father. But work Louis stays at work. It's different with you. Even when you're home and just Harry you will still be Harry Styles. And if you come home to us from recording all day, and we decide to go out to eat, you're workday isn't done because there will be fans and paparazzi. It's not bad or a dealbreaker. I've gotten to terms with it. But I would feel better if I knew what was going on and who works with and for you. Your Job is part of your personal life and I just … ask you to not shut me out of that part.“ Their dinner had arrived and Louis started eating while waiting for an answer.

 

„If you want to meet everyone on my team, you can. I'm pretty sure they will want to know you, simply to discuss our relationship. You can spend work days with me if you want. I'd like that. But you also should know that I'm being seen because I want to be seen. I can stay for a month mia if I want to. Everyone wants a piece of me all the time, that's true. But I also know how to keep my privacy.“

 

„Those are the things I want to learn about you. But we have time to learn everything about each other. So, what are your expectations?“ They should talk about both of their wishes before starting and ruining this again.

 

„Mostly I just need your trust. I had a lot of relationships, some serious, some not so much, but it always ended in fighting about stupid shit the media said. It's like that guy at the club. I need you to trust me that I won't cheat and ask me before believing what the media says.“ Louis could see in Harry's face that the man had been hurt before. Louis was part of it, he knew that, but he also didn't plan on hurting Harry even more.

 

„I don't plan on getting new social media accounts. I won't read what the media says about you or us.“

 

„Thank you. I also need you to communicate with me. There are so many rumors about me and I'd rather you talk to me about them instead of overthinking it. Like you breaking up with me. I might have been able to help you work through all of this.“

 

„Communication, Trust, Getting to know each other, Safety. Those are the main things we care about, right? I think we can work on those.“

 

„I hope we can. I really miss you.“ Harry sighed.

 

„Me too. All I want is to fall asleep with you in my arms and wake up to those curls in my face.“ Louis smiled.

 

„You better enjoy those curls. I think I'm going to cut them.“ Harry grinned.

 

„H, no!“ Louis frowned.

 

„They're starting to get in the way.“ Harry shrugged. „Anyway. I'd love to fall asleep in your arms.“

 

„Niall has Lin for the night.“ Louis winked. „Your's isn't too far away is it?“

 

„I'll pay the bill.“ Harry hurried to find a waiter.

 

„H, we're just sleeping. With our clothes on.“ Louis made sure that Harry understood what tonight would be happening and what would one hundred percent not happen.

 

„I know. But I missed just holding you.“

 

After Harry had paid for their dinner, Louis didn't even try to argue, he had seen the prices, the two men left the restaurant. It somehow had gotten even colder during the hours they had spent eating and Louis shivered in his thin jacket. Harry saw and shrugged off his suit jacket to drape it over Louis' shoulder. Louis felt so happy that they had talked it out, that he even smiled for the Paparazzi waiting outside for them.

 

*

 

Harry was hot when he woke up. At first, it was just uncomfortable and he tried to get the duvet off of his body but the more he woke up the more he realized that it wasn't the duvet that made him so hot but Louis' body around him. The memories came back after that. They had gotten home to Harry's house in London, had another glass of wine (the only thing that he still had in his house) and laid down in bed just talking before falling asleep. With a smile on his face, Harry rearranged himself in Louis' arms to get more comfortable and just watched Louis sleep. He had hoped for an outcome like this, to have Louis back in his arms, but didn't want to get his hopes up. But now, everything felt right again. They just fit and Harry didn't want to lose this feeling of love and safety ever again.

 

Harry tried to move back a bit to give Louis space once he stirred awake, but Louis' arms simply pulled him back in until Harry was laying almost on top of Louis.

 

„Stay.“ Louis' raspy morning voice made Harry's heart flutter and he hid his giddy smile on Louis' chest. They were still wearing their clothes from last night, Harry only had gotten rid of his suit jacket, which was another reason for feeling so hot. He was used to sleeping naked.

 

„Morning.“ his voice was crazy deep in the morning and he cleared his throat out of reflex to get it back to normal. „Did you sleep okay?“

 

„I had you all night in my arms, of course, I slept okay.“ Harry looked up, his chin resting on Louis' chest. Louis looked so soft in the morning. With a smile, Louis cupped Harry's cheek in his hand and pulled him up while leaning down himself a bit. Harry went willingly and let himself be kissed. Right at that moment, he knew that this was it. This was what Home felt like. With a happy sigh, Harry broke the kiss and rested his head back on Louis' chest. He could feel Louis move underneath him and looked up to see the other men on the phone.

 

„Niall needs me to pick up Lin and Simba around one.“ Louis told him and put the phone down again.

 

„So, we can have breakfast? I think I only have cereal and tea in the house but it's something.“ Harry shrugged. If he would've known that he would come and stay he would've gone grocery shopping.

 

„Sounds like a Tomlinson breakfast.“ Louis laughed and Harry rolled off of him to dress into something more comfortable than his suit. He decided on some joggers and a hoodie and gave Louis the same. He would probably drown in them, but it was still better than the clothes from last night. While Louis got changed Harry checked his own phone.

 

**Sonya**

Pictures of you and Louis looking very friendly are out. What do you want me to do? Confirm? Deny?

 

Of course pictures were out. There had been so many Paparazzi out yesterday, but Harry was too happy with Louis by his side to really think about what it really meant.

 

„Hey, Lou? My PR team wants to know if we want to confirm anything or deny us. Pictures from last night are online.“ Harry worried his bottom lip. They had had such a good morning and bringing his work life into this felt like almost ruining the mood.

 

„Hey, stop that.“ Louis told him and came around the bed to stand in front of him. With his thumb, he pulled on Harry's bottom lip until he released it. „This is what I was talking about. I don't mind you having PR. I'd like to meet them and know how this really works. Do you do what they say? Do they do what you say? This is a part of your job that will affect our relationship. So, tell me.“ Harry hugged Louis close before lacing their figures together and walking him to the kitchen to get breakfast started.

 

„My first team was a nightmare. All they cared about was making Harry Styles the Brand famous. They did that and without them, I wouldn't have my career but they also decided everything and I had very little say. I knew that I wanted a new team as soon as my contract was over and I found them. My team now is amazing. Each and every one of them does everything to keep my career going but they also respect me as a private person enough to let me make decisions. My main contact for PR stuff is Sonya and she has a team working for her.“ Harry handed Louis his bowl of cereal and a cup of tea and led the way to his dinner table with his own breakfast. He loved this corner of his house. The table was right in front of a big window, overlooking London.

 

„That means when you say that you don't want to hide us she doesn't discuss it but puts a statement out?“ Louis asked.

 

„Basically. Of course she tells me what her opinion is and what she would do but in the end, it's my decision.“

 

„What's your decision on us?“

 

„It's not my decision, Lou. It's our decision.“ They ate breakfast in silence and Harry didn't even try to interrupt Louis' thoughts. He himself had been in this situation a couple times and knew what he wanted. Louis was new to all of it and in the end, it would be Louis' decision.

 

„I don't want to hide.“ were Louis' first words after finishing breakfast. „I don't want to be careful about what I say or do or constantly think about who might hear something when I talk to Niall at the pub. But I also don't think we should be telling the world before we aren't serious.“ Harry furrowed his forehead. He was very serious about Louis.

 

„I mean … I want to be with you. But we also … this is still the dating phase. And I haven't even told my own daughter. There are things that need to happen before I feel comfortable with being Harry Styles' boyfriend. Let us enjoy some Louis and Harry time before we go there.“ Louis still needed time. But this time he wanted Harry by his side for it. And Harry would be stupid to say no to that.

 

*

 

Louis felt a lot more happy and relaxed after his meeting with Harry, especially the outcome. He hadn't really said anything to Niall about it but he was pretty sure that Niall knew anyway. Louis couldn't keep a smile off of his face and Linnea was enjoying her time with her 'happy daddy'. The two Tomlinson's spent a lot of time practicing Linnea's songs and dance moves and lines. She was really excited about the show. Louis was just happy that her interests laid in something creative. He didn't care about what her future job would be, he wouldn't even mind if she ended up in an office. But with two creative parents, he felt like they did a good job as long as Linnea would always find joy in creative projects.

 

Louis had left work a bit earlier today, giving Rosa the chance of a break between her two jobs, and got groceries before collecting his daughter at her school. It was a sunny day, not as cold as it had been during the last couple months and Louis already had plans of playing with Linnea outside after her school work was done. He waited with all the other parents outside the school.

 

„Oh, Louis! Chloe asked if she could play with Linnea sometime this week? Apparently, they made plans to walk her new dog?“ One of the mothers asked Louis as they waited. It wasn't that Louis never tried to make friends with the other parents, but with his work hours and him being a single parent and then the Harry chaos, he didn't really have time to do so. That's why he had no idea who the woman talking to him even was.

 

„Ehm, sure! Lin hasn't mentioned it to me, but if both girls want to do that, why not? Shall we exchange numbers and talk about a playdate?“ Louis offered and the woman, who turned out to be named Sandra, typed her number in his phone.

 

„Daddy!“ Linnea came running at him with full speed and he put his phone away just in time for his daughter to crash into his arms.

 

„Hey, squirt. How was school?“ Louis asked, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She had still to reach her 'I'm too cool for my dad' phase and Louis was taking full advantage of it.

 

„So good! We learned new numbers and look!“ Linnea hold the piece of paper so close to his face that he couldn't really see what was written on it. „You need to ask everyone to come and see me sing!“ Louis put his daughter down to read over the paper. It was the information about their school play, times and dates, asking to write down how many tickets each family would like to buy.

 

„I don't think we can bring the entire family, baby. The other kids want their family there, too. And you have a lot of family. But we will definitely ask who wants to come, yeah?“ Louis folded the paper and put it in Linnea's backpack before taking her hand and walking home. They only had time for a quick lunch before Linnea had to go to her ukulele lessons. She really enjoyed it, and as long as she wasn't exhausted because of too many hobbies, Louis was glad to give her what she wanted. They took Simba with them to the lesson, so that he could go to the bathroom on the way and run around a bit.

 

„I'm going to wait here. Want me to call Mommy and see if she can come down for the play?“ Louis asked. It was a long shot, flights were expensive, but she was her mother and with her being in L.A. She never really got a chance to see her daughters performances.

 

„Yes, please. And can Harry come? You're not punishing him anymore, right? And uncle Niall? And Grandpa? And all my aunts?“ Linnea asked Ukulele in hand, ready to go in her lesson.

 

„I can ask everyone. But like I said I'm not sure they want so many people with one kid.“ Louis didn't want to make any promises. When he was a kid there had always been a rule that only three family members for each kid were allowed. As soon as Linnea was in the room, he went back outside to let Simba walk around some more and pulled out his phone. After sending a text to his family asking if they wanted to come, he called Harry. He answered on the first ring.

 

„Hey, you're fast to pick up.“ Louis greeted with a chuckle.

 

„Well, I'm on break. I wasn't planning on being in London and all my songwriting stuff is still in L.A.“ Louis almost felt guilty.

 

„If you have to work I don't want to keep you.“ he told him. In the end, it was Harry's choice but Louis didn't want to stay in the way of Harry's work or schedule.

 

„Nah, it's okay. Being with you in London gives me new inspiration for songs. My team will love it.“ Harry was writing songs about him?

 

„I'm actually calling because of Lin. Her school needs to know how many tickets each family needs for the show and Lin was asking if you would come?“

 

„Of course! My team already knows that I will be in London for the show, same with her birthday.“

 

„That's nice, she will like that. She set on getting the entire family to come to her show. I'm not sure if Bri will be able, though. I mean, she's already coming for her birthday and when she came last year for her little concert that hadn't been planned. Booking flights this late is expensive.“

 

„She's in L.A., right? I can get her to London with me.“

 

„Harry-“

 

„No, listen. It's not that expensive for me. And I sound like a douche saying it, but it's true. It would mean a lot to Lin, you and Briana so let me do this. Send me her phone number and I'll get in contact with her.“

 

„Thank you. Not just for the flight but for not being a jealous shit about my ex.“

 

„Oh, I am a jealous shit.“ Harry laughed over the line. „But I also have eyes and can see that there is no other bond between you two than you two being Lin's parents.“

 

„If you have nothing else to do anyway. Do you want to come by tonight? Lin hasn't seen you in forever and you wouldn't believe how much Simba has grown over the last months.“

 

„Absolutely. I'll bring dinner.“

 

*

 

It was always a weird change to leave England and land in Los Angeles. Both cities have become home to Harry over the years, but they were two completely different cities. And for right now home was in England where he could actually work on his relationship and enjoy his time with Louis. But Louis had been write. He couldn't stop working just because he wanted to be with Louis. That was why he was back in Los Angeles to finish his album and be done by the time Linnea had her show and birthday.

 

Harry pushed his sunglasses that had been in his hair down over his eyes to shield himself from the camera flashes and made sure to walk quickly through the airport, following Paul. Even in Los Angeles where he was expected by fans he was able to walk around without security but airports were always a bit tricky. A car was waiting for him and Harry only relaxed once the door behind him was closed. Some parts of his job were just a bit more stressful than other parts. He made it to his house and got a shower before his phone was ringing. His first thought was Louis, but he would still be asleep. Harry himself tried his best to crash the jetlag. He had gotten better with all the traveling he had to do for his job but sometimes it still knocked him out. Looking at his phone he saw that Nick was calling.

 

„I still don't want to get laid.“ he greeted but smiled, sure Nick could hear it in his voice. He was just so happy ever since his talk with Louis.

 

„I know. A reliable source in my team has a lot of happy pictures of you and Louis. I guess you already got laid.“

 

„That's really none of your business.“ Harry laughed. „Why did you call? I hope you're not live right now.“ Nick liked to call Harry out of the blue and make him part of his morning show without telling him.

 

„No, I'm not working. The same source told me you're back in L.A. And I just wanted to know if you want to go out. Not even necessarily dancing just, you know … quality time.“ Harry looked at himself in the mirror. Especially at his long curls. Being with Louis felt like a new chapter in his life. And what did Coco Chanel say? A man who cuts his hair is about to change his life. She might've talked about women but fuck genders.

 

„I want to cut my hair. Want to come with me? We can get something to eat afterward.“ Harry decided. He got annoyed with his hair for a while now, it wasn't too spontaneous.

 

„You're getting rid of the Styles curls?“ Nick asked in disbelieve. Well, it had been Harry's trade mark for at least a year now, probably longer.

 

„Yeah, it's too long.“

 

„Well, okay. Want me to pick you up?“ Nick asked.

 

„Nah, I'll pick you up. I missed my car.“

 

„Of course you rich teenager missed your fancy, expensive car.“ Nick teased.

 

„I'm 26, idiot. I'm hardly a teenager.“

 

„Oh, you'll always be a kid in my eyes. Now get your young ass over here.“

 

„Alright.“ Harry laughed, hang up and got ready to start this new chapter. Cutting his hair sounded like a good idea until he was actually in the hairdresser chair, hair wet and pulled back into a ponytail.

 

„Oh god, wait.“ he said and just looked at himself in the mirror. His long hair had represented him for so long and they surely would've been a great touch to his sex life. But in the end it was just hair that would grow back, he tried to tell himself. „Okay.“ with his hands before his eyes he gave the hair stylist the okay to cut the ponytail. He could hear Nick chuckle beside him at his dramatics but it was a drastic change. Harry was allowed to freak out a bit.

 

„Done. You want to keep them?“ The hair stylist said and Harry dared a look. Shit, his hair was short. Like a bob. It wasn't done yet but Harry couldn't help but laugh at himself.

 

„I hope this isn't a hysterical What-have-I-done laugh.“ Nick told him and Harry shook his head.

 

„No, it's great. And yes, I'll keep the hair. It will go to charity.“ Harry played with the cut off hair for the rest of the haircut and was really happy with the result. Before he got up to pay he pulled the beanie he had brought over his head, hiding all of his hair.

 

„Do you hate it?“ Nick laughed.

 

„No, I just don't want Louis to see. I mean, he deleted his social media he probably won't see any pictures but just to be sure.“

 

„You don't want your boyfriend to see your short hair? What, are you not going to see him for a year until it's long again?“

 

„You really are an idiot.“ Harry deadpans. „I just want it to be a surprise for when I'll see him again at the end of February.“ Before leaving Harry took a picture of the cut off hair in front of a nice colored wall at the hair salon to post on Instagram. He sent the same picture to Louis as he wouldn't see it on the App.

 

His response of 'Harry Styles what have you done?!' made him giggle all the way to the restaurant. And even when they 'saw' each other the next time, Louis wasn't impressed with Harry's little game.

 

„You're a real tease, you know that?“ Louis whined the next time they Skyped. Harry was already ready for bed but made sure to put his beanie back on before accepting the call. „You can't just show me the hair you threw away, make me break my promise in googling you and then hide your hair in every picture. Even now!“

 

„I want to see your face when you see it.“ Harry shrugged. Louis went to open his mouth but Harry was quicker. „Your actual face. Not on a display.“

 

„Fine. Maybe I'll just get a new tattoo and won't show you until I see you.“ Louis pouted.

 

„Do that.“ Harry laughed.

 

*

 

Harry worked hard on his album for the next three weeks. Once he packed his bags and ordered enough groceries for the next three weeks online to get delivered to his London home, all twelve songs had been recorded, Harry was happy with all of them and his team was happy to let him go on break. The only thing that still needed to be done was the photo shoot for the album but Harry was promised he could do that in London. One day before Linnea's Birthday Harry picked up Briana, who thanked him a thousand times and took a plane to London.

 

Harry got a driver to get his Audi to the airport so that he could drive them to Doncaster. Louis knew that they were coming, he had asked Briana to take Linnea for the night so that he could prepare everything for Linnea's birthday party was Harry had a suspicion that Louis wanted Harry in his home without nosy children ears. Briana, of course, said yes to one-on-one time with her daughter.

 

„Thank you so much for this, Harry. Should I ever become famous enough to actually make the money I need for the life I want to live I'll pay you back.“ Briana told him when they were close.

 

„You don't pay me anything.“ Harry told her. „What is it your working on? I mean, what kind of clothes do you make?“

 

„Well, I started with male fashion. I learned how to sew and play around with fabric in College. Louis would model for me. Did you know that? He used to pay his rent with the money he made at different model gigs. I'm sure he has the pictures still somewhere. I still have the one he did with my designs.“ Briana laughed and okay, Harry did not know that but now he wanted to see those pictures. „After I had Lin I tried some children clothes and then did some dresses and stuff for myself. I don't know, I do a bit of everything. Sometimes I think that's the problem. That I do too much a people don't find the one specific thing they want.“

 

„You'll be here until after Lin's show, right? Until next week?“

 

„Yeah, I'm looking forward to spending some time with my daughter but I do have my work stuff with me. I don't have a lot of clients but I do have some and they want their clothes.“

 

„That's great. I'm meeting with a photographer to discuss my shoot for the album. And I don't have a Stylist yet.“ Harry looked over to Briana for a second to see if she got what he hinted at.

 

„Harry, what are you saying?“ she sounded like she knew exactly what Harry was saying but didn't want to get her hopes up in case it wasn't true.

 

„Just that I have a meeting to discuss the shoot concept and if I happen to have a Stylist with me, who's also a designer … I mean we wouldn't need to look for another one.“ Harry shrugged like it's not Briana's big chance to get her name out there.

 

„Are you serious? Harry!“ Briana screamed in his face and Harry laughed out loud.

 

„Only if you want. The album is only coming out in about five months. You would have time to create new pieces if that's what you want to do. My team will tease the album with pictures of the shoot and link everyone involved. Could be your chance.“

 

„Only if I want?! Of course I want! Oh my god. Thank you!“ She looked at Harry with disbelieve in her eyes.

 

„I'm serious about Louis, you know. I think we can be happy together for years and become a family. You're part of that family. I'll always help out my family.“

 

„Don't tell Lou, but if you weren't head over heels for my ex I'd totally marry you.“ Harry just laughed again and parked in front of Louis' building.

 

 

Linnea must've seen them pull up as she was already waiting at the flat door screaming „Harry! Mommy!“ on the top of her lungs.

 

„Lin! We have neighbors!“ Louis screamed not really quieter and Simba decided to be part of the party and started to bark. Briana and Harry started walking up the stairs laughing. He felt right at home.

 

„Hey, Sweetheart!“ Briana hugged her daughter close. Harry didn't even want to imagen how shit it must be for a parent to see their young child so little times during the year.

 

„Hi Mommy. Daddy said we have a sleepover?“ You could see how excited she was to spend time with her mother and it warmed Harry's heart.

 

„Yeah. Harry booked us a very nice house for the next week. We can spend a lot of time together.“ Harry felt Louis' eyes on him. He hadn't known that Harry hadn't only paid for a plane ticket. But what could he say? He already saw himself as part of the family. And it was true what he had told Briana in the car.

 

„Thank you, Harry, for bringing my Mommy.“ Linnea threw herself into Harry's arms next.

 

„Of course. What would your birthday be without your Mommy?“ Harry asked and Linnea actually thought about it.

 

„Still my Birthday but not as fun.“ she decided and wiggled out of his arms and ran into the flat.

 

„Hey, Lou.“ Briana hugged her daughter's father next and Harry could hear her say „If you ever let go of Harry, I'll take him. He's the best.“ She followed her daughter inside and Harry finally got to say Hello to Louis and leave the hallway.

 

„What have you done?“ Louis asked. „Why does she want to steal you from me?“

 

„Nothing! I just offered her a Job as my Stylist and Designer for my upcoming album shoot.“ What Harry saw in Louis' eyes could only be descript as love.

 

„You're an angel, you know that?“ Harry just smiled and leaned in for a kiss, but Linnea came running back with her backpack on her shoulder and a big smile on her face and Harry brought some space between them.

 

„I'm ready for my sleepover.“

 

„Alright. Enjoy being six. When you come home tomorrow for your birthday party you'll already be seven years old! My big girl.“ Louis hugged her and kissed her face wherever she could reach before a giggling Linnea wiggled out of his arms.

 

„Have fun, Lils.“ Harry told her and it wasn't long before Linnea and Briana had left the two men alone.

 

„So, Harry Styles, can I finally see what you did to your hair?“ Louis asked and had already his hands under Harry's beanie that had become a part of him over the last weeks. Harry nodded and focused his eyes on Louis'. He could feel Louis' fingers in his hair before the Beanie came off.

 

„That's crazy short. I thought you'd gone back to the short curls you had when you were 16.“

 

„It's creepy how much you know about me.“ Harry pouted.

 

„I know shit about Harry Styles the media said. I'm sure half of it is made up. And I really like your hair. Makes you look older than you are.“

 

„It's still enough for you to play with.“ Harry grinned and pulled Louis closer by his hips and finally kissed his partner. Louis sighed into the kiss and buried his fingers in Harry's short hair. The kiss that had started innocently quickly turned passionate after Louis decided to let his body control the situation and press his groin into Harry's.

 

„Lou, if you not planning on getting me off we need to stop.“ Harry panted into Louis' mouth. He had fantasies about Louis for far too long to last very long. Louis just grinned wickedly at Harry and the singer could feel one of Louis' hands find their way to his jeans and under his underwear. He couldn't help but moan loudly into Louis' shoulder when the older man teasingly pushed a finger between Harry's cheeks before taking a good grip of the tight flesh of his arse.

 

„Take me to bed, please.“ Louis whispered into Harry's ear and the singer didn't waste any time in picking Louis up and walking towards his bedroom. He wasn't very fast, too distracted by Louis nibbling on his neck and too focused on not walking into anything. Once they made it safely into the bedroom Harry laid Louis down on the bed and watched him getting undressed. He couldn't help but just stare. One after another Louis' clothes came off and the more clothes landed next to the bed the more ink and sun-kissed skin appeared. He shouldn't even be this tan in winter but god, he looked beautiful. Harry was so, so lucky.

 

„Enjoying yourself?“ Louis asked smirking and Harry could just nod. „How about you get naked and we enjoy ourselves together?“ Yes, that sounded like a great idea. Harry was a lot faster than Louis in getting naked, almost falling on his face when he tried to get out of his pants. But he finally landed on the bed and all of his naked glory. Louis rolled on top of him and attacked Harry's lips yet again. Harry's penis, now actually free, was very interested in what Louis was doing and got hard within seconds. Especially when Louis not only kissed Harry but also got his tongue exploring his mouth while one of his hands played with Harry's nipples until they were hard.

 

„How do you … I mean are we going to -“ Harry tried to get the question out that had to be asked but his brain failed him. He couldn't even get a full sentence out with the way Louis was sucking on his nipples. The man was ruining him.

 

„I don't care. Either way is fine. Do you want to top or bottom?“ Louis asked and sat down on Harry's torso to give Harry time to answer.

 

„Please fuck me, Louis.“ Harry moaned and Louis reached over to his nightstand to grab lube and a condom.

 

„Your penis looks like it could use some attention.“ Louis told him with raised eyebrows and Harry moaned louder than before when Louis went down on him. The heat of Louis' mouth on Harry's penis was everything and when Louis started to suck lightly Harry could've come then and there.

 

„Oh god, Lou … I'm gonna come.“ Harry told him, gripping the sheets underneath him hard to hold back his orgasm. Louis stopped sucking but kept his mouth where it was. Distantly Harry could hear a cap opening and moments later he had a finger in his arse. It was toe-curling good. Louis knew exactly what he was doing and it wasn't long before he had three finders scissoring him. The moment Louis' fingers found his prostate he also decided to get back to sucking Harry and Harry didn't really stand a chance when he came with a shout of Louis' name in his mouth. Still coming down from his high and suddenly had a hot body on top of him.

 

„I didn't even get to use the condom.“ Louis pouted.

 

„Sorry. It's been too long.“ Harry panted and pulled Louis close. „We can try again.“

 

„Later.“ Louis decided and cuddled close to Harry, legs intertwined. They lay in silence, waiting for Harry's breath to go back to normal. „Would now be a bad and unromantic time to ask you to be my boyfriend?“ Louis asked and Harry's heart skipped a beat.

 

„Very.“ Harry agreed. „But I'd still stay yes.“ And Harry was all to happy to accept the kiss his boyfriend was offering.

 

*

 

Louis woke up in a panic. With Harry spending the night he had completely forgotten to set his alarm and he needed enough time to get the living room decorated and organize a cake for Linnea's birthday party. They would have a small party with her friends on the weekend, today was just for the family but even that was something Louis needed to prepare. Harry must've been up even before him. At least Louis could hear the toilet flush and a deliciously naked Harry came back into the bedroom.

 

„Morning!“ he greeted and got back on the bed to kiss Louis good morning. Louis accepted the kiss willingly but started looking for his phone right after.

 

„Morning. What time is it?“

 

„Around eight?“ Harry asked and tried to get Louis back in the mood. Louis wouldn't have it, push Harry off and put on some clothes.

 

„I'm so late.“

 

„For what? The Birthday girl isn't even home.“ Harry asked from his place on the bed.

 

„No, but she will be in four hours, I need to get the decorations I ordered, pick up the food, organize a cake and walk Simba.“ Louis threw on what he could find and went into the bathroom to at least brush his teeth.

 

„How can I help?“ Harry asked, leaning on the doorframe to the bathroom. Louis finished brushing his teeth and thought about what task he could give Harry.

 

„Can you make sure we have enough space for everyone to sit? Maybe vacuum the floor? Maybe take Simba on a walk? I don't want to make you clean my mess, but-“

 

„No, Lou, it's fine. I'll make sure everything here is ready. I'll even bake the birthday cake how does that sound.“

 

„You don't have to, I'll just buy one.“ Louis hurried past him already on the search of his shoes.

 

„I'll make one. You have enough to get already.“

 

„Thank you.“ Louis, finally ready to go, kissed his boyfriend quickly on the lips. Boyfriend. It was nice to finally call Harry that. „I'll be back in a couple hours.“

 

It took him almost three hours and a car full of stuff to get back home. He had to make multiple walks to get everything into his flat.

 

„Okay, I got the balloons, all the jungle decorations I could find and enough hot dogs to feed my family twice.“ Louis called once everything was inside and he put off his shoes. Simba came running at him and wouldn't move until Louis scratched him behind his ear for a bit.

 

„Flat is clean, Simba has been to the bathroom twice and Lili's cake is done.“ Harry called back emerging from the kitchen with a chocolate cake in hand. „I even found some Birthday Cakes in one of the drawers.“

 

„I'm so happy to have you.“ Louis told him and leaned around the cake to give Harry a deep kiss. Birthday Celebrations were a lot easier with two people preparing for it. Harry put the cake on the table and helped Louis with decorating for the party. Unsurprisingly Linnea wanted a Lion King theme and Louis had found some character helium balloons that the couple placed all around the room. The decorations that looked a bit like liana followed and once they were done it looked like a small jungle.

 

„And we still have an hour!“ Harry exclaimed.

 

„Yeah, I need to shower and get some new clothes that don't smell like sweat. Care to join? We could find out if we get to use that condom today.“ Harry was already on the way to the bathroom before Louis could finish his sentence but followed him laughing.

 

*

 

Somewhere between Harry's meetings for the album shoot, Linnea's rehearsals, the first I love you's, and Louis' work schedule, the couple decided to come out. They didn't want to make a big deal out of it, a simple picture or Tweet on one of Harry's accounts would be enough. They also didn't want to deal with it before Linnea's show was done and agreed on posting something after her show. Sonya had met them for a meeting, Louis eager to learn how everything worked, and they finally had a coming out plan everyone was happy with.

 

Harry would post a picture, one he already had picked out, with a short statement and that would be it. Louis also made clear that wouldn't get a new account just to be more accessible for fans. He felt happier without and didn't want to go back to question himself about everything. But before any of that could happen, Louis and Harry, sat Linnea down to talk to her about their relationship.

 

„Lin, do you know what it means when someone is in love?“ Louis asked one night just before their movie night started. The couple had sat Linnea down between them.

 

„Chloe said her parents are in love because they kiss all the time.“ Linnea nodded.

 

„Right. Because Chloe's parents mean a lot to each other and they show that with kisses. They make each other very happy.“

 

„I want to be in love.“ Linnea stated and Louis had to laugh.

 

„You will be when the right person is here. But what I wanted to talk about is, that Harry and I are also in love.“ Louis glanced over Linnea's head at Harry who had his eyes glued to Linnea. The little girl seemed to think about before coming to a conclusion.

 

„Will Harry be here all the time, now?“

 

„Harry still has to work and sometimes in a different country. But he will be here a lot and we will be a lot at Harry's house. How do you feel about that?“

 

„I get lots of Harry time! It's great!“

 


	5. Ch. 05 - Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em, Only thing they're good for is leaving

**Ch. 05 - Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em, Only thing they're good for is leaving**

_F.F.F (feat. G-Eazy) - Bebe Rexha (All Your Fault: Pt 1; 2017)_

  
  


_ I got a feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night _

_ That tonight's gonna be a good night _

_ That tonight's gonna be a good, good night _

 

The club was packed. People were dancing, drinks in their hands, jumping to the beat and singing their hearts out. Louis was one of them. Drink in his hand he didn’t even care if he lost any of his drink while dancing freely to the beat in their small group in the V.I.P section of the club in London. After they had come out publicly as a couple Louis and Harry had laid low for a while. But Harry had decided that they both deserved some fun with their friends and didn’t have to hide away from the media and Harry’s fans. This had been the point of confirming their relationship anyway - not to hide.

 

With Niall, Lottie and Liam, the couple had met up for pre-drinks at Niall’s pub. He had closed early to get everyone in the mood and a cab had brought them all to the club in the city where they could enjoy being young and childless for the night. And Louis made sure to enjoy the night with his family, friends and boyfriend. He already had a couple drinks in but wasn’t too drunk yet. Dancing in the quickly changing lights he didn’t leave any space between himself and Harry. It was like being back at college. Carefree with a feeling of freedom.

 

_ I got a feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night _

_ That tonight's gonna be a good night _

_ That tonight's gonna be a good, good night _

 

The club sang the last chorus loudly and their little group followed suit, bringing their glasses together once the song was over and finishing their drinks. Sweating but happy Louis took a break and sat down in their booth. He was completely happy with watching Harry dancing to Mambo No. 5. His boyfriends dancing was something else but it made Louis laugh and at that moment he felt nothing but love for his boy. Niall was quick to copy Harry’s crazy moves and the duo gave a performance of a lifetime in their circle. 

 

_ Took you like a shot _

_ Thought that I could chase you with a cold evening _

_ Let a couple years water down how I'm feeling about you _

 

As soon as the first chords were played over the speakers Louis ended his break and made sure to get between Niall and Harry. Ever since the song had come out Louis had associated the lyrics to his relationship with Harry. The song was a lot slower than the previous one and didn’t give for wild dancing, but Louis gave all his concentration to singing the lyrics in Harry’s face. Harry got his hands on Louis’ hips and was moving in sync with him, a big smile on his face, biting his bottom lip as he looked down to his boyfriend with nothing but love and lust in his eyes. 

 

_ I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to _

_ When I'm lying close to someone else _

_ You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it _

_ If I could do it all again _

_ I know I'd go back to you _

_ I'd go back to you _

_ I'll go back to you _

_ I know I'd go back to you _

 

Louis sang the last chorus and he wasn’t done with the last note when he had Harry’s lips on his own. Immediately he felt Harry’s tongue licking on his bottom lip, wanting access, something that Louis granted willingly. Getting on his tiptoes he tightened his arms around Harry’s neck to press even closer to his boyfriends’ body. The kiss quickly turned dirty with too much tongue and teeth but neither men really cared about it. Louis’ body and need took over and he started to rotate his hips against Harry’s. But at this point, Harry did stop him, used his hands on Louis’ hips to get a bit of space between them. 

 

“What?” Louis asked out of breath, hungrily eyeing Harry. 

 

“I’m not going to have sex with you on the dancefloor. Let’s find a bathroom.” with a wicked smile Louis took Harry’s outstretched hand and followed the younger man to the next bathroom. 

 

*

 

Harry had been on the phone with his team for the better part of the morning. Ever since he had finished recording his album he had basically moved in with Louis. It seemed to be the best decision. He could be close to Louis and Linnea but he also was out of the big city where people could easily spot him. But since everyone knew that he was dating Louis, they also knew where Louis worked and Harry had been spotted a couple times in Doncaster. But it hadn’t been too bad and he was still able to go and get some groceries without getting moped or needing his security with him. He had two months off and was planning to be Harry the boyfriend and not Harry Styles, the Popstar. But he still had to give his approval to certain things and ever since the meeting with the photographer and Briana, Briana constantly sent him pictures of possible outfits and asked for his opinion. Harry understood that this was big for Briana but he just wished everyone would respect his family time and do their job without him.

 

He had just come back to Louis’ after a small walk with Simba and finished their lunch when Linnea came running into the flat, already yelling her hello to Harry and throwing her backpack on the ground to cuddle her puppy. He saw Louis coming in with a smile, pulling off his shoes and picking up Linnea’s backpack before greeting Harry with a kiss. Harry could see right away that something wasn’t right but he didn’t want to ask in front of Linnea. He just hoped that Louis had learned from last time and would talk to him and not break up again. 

 

“Harry, my teacher said she is picking out the next play for us to do and I really, really want to be in it! I loved Matilda.” Linnea told Harry excitedly and pulled off her shoes. 

 

“I’m sure you can be a part in the new play,” Harry told her. He had felt so proud sitting in the audience with the rest of Linnea’s family and watching the little girl dance and sing her little heart out. She belongs on a stage. No matter if she wanted to go into music or acting or something completely different. Harry could see how comfortable she was on stage and he hoped Linnea would find a job in that field.

 

“I hope we do Annie next. If I get the part of Annie I can bring Simba and he can be part of the show!” 

 

“Let’s wait for the new show before we plan on bringing the dog on a stage.” Louis laughed. “We need to hurry a bit, love. After Lunch we have another lesson for Simba, remember?” They had started going to the school that would teach Simba everything he needed to know to help Linnea in her everyday life a couple weeks ago. Once a week they spent 60 minutes with a trainer. In two years he was supposed to be fully trained. Going once a week sounded better than giving Linnea a puppy only to take him away again to keep him at some school. 

 

Linnea ran off to the bathroom to wash her hands before Lunch and Harry used the time to ask Louis about his weird behavior. 

 

“Are you okay?” 

 

“I promise I’m not keeping secrets. But I don’t need Lin to hear about my problems.” Louis told him with a tight smile and kissed Harry before setting the table. 

 

“Tell me later?” Harry asked and sat down with Louis, both waiting for Linnea.

 

“Promise.”

 

“Promise what?” Linnea asked and climbed on her chair. 

 

“Promise that we will eat all of the veggies Harry has cooked for us,” Louis told her and started to eat. Linnea crunched up her nose and looked at her broccoli and carrots. 

 

“No, thank you. I don’t want to promise that.” Linnea said with a serious expression and started to eat her chicken. Harry had to hide a chuckle behind his hand and looked up to Louis to share the joy of Linnea’s mind. But Louis didn’t look amused. He looked thoughtful at Linnea before sighing and eating his own chicken. Harry didn’t want him to be sad and nudged his foot under the table. Louis looked up with a tight smile, as fake as he had been the entire time since he had been home. Harry gave him a real one before eating his own Lunch. 

 

“Lin, go and change your clothes for the dog school, yeah?” Louis asked once all three were done eating and piled their plates. Harry waited for the girl to leave the room before asking again. 

 

“Okay, what’s up? You’re trying for Lili but something isn’t right.” 

 

“Someone took pictures of us in the club,” Louis said, drawing patterns on the table in front of him. 

 

“Is that … bad? I can call my team and they can take them down.” Harry offered. Whatever it was, he wanted Louis to be happy. 

 

“No. I knew that this would happen if I date you publicly. I’m okay with that. But when I was waiting with the other parents to pick up Lin today … well, somehow Mary saw them and made sure I knew that partying with my partner and friends wasn’t what a good parent did.” Louis stood up and busied himself with washing the dishes. Harry watched him helplessly. He wanted Louis to sit down, give him a hug and talk this through until he was his happy boyfriend again. 

 

“Ever since I know you, Mary has been talking shit to you. Why does it bother you? We all know she’s wrong.” Harry asked. He knew Louis was insecure but he had thought he at least was over whatever Mary was throwing at him. 

 

“It’s not just her. Nobody else said anything but I could see their looks. They all agreed with Mary. As if … I mean just because I’m a single parent am I not allowed to have fun? It’s not like Lin was home alone, she was with Dan.” Louis stood at the sink, water running but he made no move to actually wash the dishes. Harry got up, turned off the water and turned Louis around by his hips. 

 

“This is what the media does. They have a photo and make up some story without knowing what really happened. It’s why I rarely read about what they say about me. It’s shit when it keeps on getting rubbed in your face. But everyone who is believing the media over you isn’t worth your time nor should you consider them friends. Their opinion doesn’t matter.” Harry moved his hands up to Louis' face to cup his cheeks and look into the blue eyes. “The only thing that matters is the truth. And we know the truth. Linnea was with her Grandpa. She had a great time playing with her aunts and uncle and she was a very happy camper when we picked her up the next day. She was with a person you trust and who knows how to handle seizures. You did nothing wrong, you’re a great parent and nobody should make you feel any different.” he finished his little speech with a kiss to Louis’ forehead. Sighing Louis closed his eyes and leaned forward until his head rested on Harry’s shoulder. 

 

“Thank you. It’s just hard to hear.” 

 

“I know. But I’m here to reassure you each and every time someone tells you stuff like this.” Harry whispered and hugged Louis close.

 

“I love you.” 

 

“I love you, too.”

 

“Don’t cuddle without me!” Linnea had changed into a dress with tights, the spring weather was still a bit chilly, and demanded to be part of the cuddles.

 

“One quick cuddle and you two need to get going,” Harry said and Linnea happily hugged both men tightly.

 

*

 

Louis knew that he was worrying Harry with his struggles. But all he could do was trying to figure it out and make sure that Harry knew that he was willing to figure it out with him, and not run away again. He wanted to be open with Harry but at the same time, he didn’t want to burden Harry with this. 

 

The main problem Louis had was that he was so good at ignoring people’s opinion about himself when he couldn’t read them. He got to a point where he didn't even wonder what people might say. He was happy with his choices. But having people say it to his face was a different story. Louis didn’t know how to deal with that. He couldn’t click delete and Mary disappeared out of his life. He couldn’t block people in real life. The truth was, that Louis always worried about Linnea’s wellbeing and his parenting. Having someone point out his worries - feeding his worries - only helped him getting deeper into that hole he had created. 

 

_ March 2011 _

 

_ Louis came back into his flat for the last time. His flight back home to the U.K. would leave the next day and he’d not only come home with a lot of memories but also his little bundle of joy. A week ago Briana had gone into labour and the young parents had welcomed little Linnea Johanna Tomlinson into the world. They had decided on Louis’ last name, mostly because she would live with him and it would make more sense for them to have the same name.  _

 

_ “Is she asleep?” Louis asked quietly and put the shopping bags down. Briana had moved in with him after the last semester had ended and would keep the small one bedroom flat after Louis left. For the last time, Louis had let her have all the time she needed with her daughter. It had been a mutual decision, Louis wasn’t just taking Linnea away, but he still couldn’t believe that their daughter would have parents on different continents.  _

 

_ “Yeah, finally.” Briana was sitting on the couch, Linnea resting against her chest, sound asleep. Louis carefully sat down next to her.  _

 

_ “She’s so perfect,” he whispered, eyes roaming around his daughters' small frame.  _

 

_ “We really are parents, Lou. We’re all she has.” _

 

_ “It’s terrifying. I’m so scared to go home with her without you.” Louis confessed.  _

 

_ “No, don’t be. You have your family. Your mom is an expert at this point when it comes to babies.” _

 

_ “She’s only days old, Bri. She relies on us knowing what she needs and wants. What if I don’t get it?”  _

 

_ “You’re her daddy. You know what she needs. Even when everyone else thinks we’re messing her up, we’re her parents. We know what she needs.” Louis wasn’t so sure about that. Sure, he had helped his mom with his younger siblings, but he never had the entire responsibility for them. They weren’t his. He basically was a kid himself, he couldn’t have his own. He had looked forward to having Linnea. The entire pregnancy he had been so excited to meet his baby girl. But now that she was here, all he felt was anxiety and helpless. _

  
  


A quiet knock brought Louis back to reality. Harry was standing in the doorway to his bedroom, looking at him concerned. Louis sighed and sat up from where he had been laying on top of the duvet. Harry took it as his invitation to come to bed with him and sat down next to him. 

 

“I had her when I was twenty-one. Fresh out of college and basically still a child. And then I had a child and the entire responsibility for this small human was resting on my shoulders. She was so pure and perfect and mine. Ever since I heard her first cry right before the midwife handed her to Briana, I’m terrified of messing her up and not giving her the foundation for a life full of everything she wants to achieve.” 

 

“I’m not a parent, but I think messing up on the way is part of it. And you didn’t mess her up for life. You might not have done everything some parenting guidebook is saying, but when I look at Linnea I see a bright young girl, with a caring heart, full of energy and love for everything creative. And when I look at you I see a loving father who would die for his child.” 

 

“Her life can’t be easy with her epilepsy,” Louis muttered another thing that was always on his mind. 

 

“Maybe not, but it’s part of who she is. If you ask me it only made her stronger. She can handle a lot, she knows her body and she learned from a young age to be responsible. It’s hard to watch, and to be honest, I’m glad I only witnessed one seizure. But who’s life is always easy? We all have something that makes some situation a bit harder than it has to be. For Lin it’s epilepsy. And this one isn’t your fault.” 

 

“Maybe.” 

 

“Louis! It’s a neurological thing. No one is an epileptic because of how they were raised.” 

 

“I know that. I’m just wondering if I should watch out more or give her more freedom. Should I have given her meds sooner? Is she likely to have trouble in school in a couple of years because some brain cells did suffer?” 

 

“Do you want to talk to a doctor about that? Maybe we can make an appointment and you can talk about all of that? I’m always here if you want to talk, you know that. But maybe someone with a bit more knowledge about it would help more.” 

 

“Yeah, maybe. I guess I just need to find a way to get over all my parenting worries.” Harry put an arm around Louis’ shoulder and pulled him close to kiss his temple. 

 

“Want me to pick up Lin?” Harry asked but Louis only sighed.

 

“I don’t think that would help. They’re already calling me a shit parent, I don’t need them to see someone that isn’t me to pick her up.”

 

*

 

With his hands intertwined with Louis’, Harry walked into the management building in London. He had watched Louis mood for a week and was done with it. He understood that Louis was insecure and that this wasn’t something that would disappear just because Harry told him again and again how proud he was of him as a parent and a person. But as his loving partner, he was also not willing to just sit there and let it happen. So he did the one thing he could do for Louis - call in a meeting with his team and discuss how they could keep Louis out of the media. 

 

Louis didn’t seem too excited or happy when Harry told him about there plans for the afternoon, but he also admitted that at this point he was happy for anything that would bring him back the happiness he had felt before all of this started. Harry organized for Niall to pick up Linnea from school - no matter what any parent had to say about that - and had driven them into the city. 

 

“You okay?” Harry asked while they were waiting for the lift to arrive and take them to the fifth floor. 

 

“Yeah, I guess. Everything’s just … a mess. I don’t really know where I’m at.” Harry was so glad that Louis was open with him and didn’t try to hide his emotions and thoughts anymore. 

 

“This might not help at all, or maybe it will bring you some peace again,” Harry spoke and squeezed Louis’ hand. “I’m sorry that all of this is part of being with me. That our relationship is stressing you out.” 

 

“It’s not your fault, Harry!” Louis quickly said. “This is something I deal with ever since Linnea has been born. Being in the public eye, or being with you, hasn’t made it worse. The only thing hard to handle right now is that it’s real people and not just a comment that I can delete.”

“I’m glad we’re talking about all of it.” Harry smiled and leaned down a bit to kiss Louis on the lips. 

 

“Me too.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

“Alright. Let’s see what we can do.” The lift had stopped at their floor and the two men went down the long hallway to the office where the meeting would be held. Harry’s team, especially his PR team, was already there, with notebooks in front of them. 

 

“Hello everyone.” Harry greeted and held the door open for Louis. He got a chorus of hello back and took with Louis the last two seats at the table. Harry spent the first five minutes introducing Louis to everyone and explaining their Job. It had been something that Louis had asked for, but everyone had too important jobs to simply come together and drink tea to meet Louis. 

 

“Okay, so we’re here because Louis needs to get out of the media’s eye. Correct?” Sonya started the meeting, looking at her notes. 

 

“Yes. He … it doesn’t matter. Let’s just say we don’t want to hide but for Louis’ privacy it would be great to keep pictures of him out of the media.” They were so open about Louis’ struggles and Harry usually had to be open about his life with his team, that he almost talked about everything. But Louis wasn’t their client, he was Harry’s partner. But he didn’t need to be managed. And this room of - at least for Louis - strangers, didn’t need to know about what was going on in his life. 

 

“You knew that pictures would be taken the minute you came out.” Brad, one of Harry’s team, said. He didn’t look too impressed with the meetings reason. “It’s a bit late to go back into hiding.”

 

“We’re not hiding. All I want is for you guys to buy any pictures of Louis before they can be released.” 

 

“People love you two as a couple. A picture every now and then would be a good push for your career. Publicity-wise.” Sonya told him. 

 

“I can still talk about him in Interviews, make sure that my fans know that we are going strong and are happy. I just want to protect his privacy.” 

 

“We can do a planned press walk,” Louis spoke up and Harry looked at him in confusion. Wouldn’t that have the same outcome?

 

“You’d be willing?” Sonya asked.

 

“I can control it. It can just be a walk in the park or something. I’d knew what would be out there and not some picture showing me in a bad light.” Harry reached over and held Louis’ hand. 

 

“Perfect. Throw in random Instagram posts about you two being happy and it wouldn’t be a big deal keeping everything else out of the press.” Sonya made some notes, but Harry looked over to Louis before confirming anything. This meeting was to make Louis feel better. He needed to have the last word. The control he seemed to seek. 

 

“It will have to be Harry’s Instagram. I’m still not willing to get a new one. But I’m fine with that.” 

 

“Great. We’ll get to that. Anything else?” 

 

“Do we have a date for the album shoot?” Harry asked. The important part was over and Harry took the chance to talk about his calendar over the next weeks. 

 

“As far as I know we’re still waiting for Design. But it should be happening around the end of March.” Harry took a mental note to call Briana later and talk to her about it. It could be her big break and Harry understood that she wanted her designs to be perfect, but he also knew how the business worked and that the shooting needed to happen soon for Sonya and her team to start the Promo. 

 

“Can we invite Niall tonight? Maybe Liam? He’s still in London, isn’t he?” Louis asked after the meeting was over and they walked back to the car. “Are you up for that?” 

 

“Sure. We can get some drinks and snacks on our way home.” 

 

“I just want a fun night without people questioning me. And Lin should meet Liam, I think. He’s a close friend of yours and I think it’s time for our families and friends to intertwine.” That was not something Harry had expected. Louis hadn’t met anyone from his family so far, and Harry was pretty sure he only knew Louis’ family because everyone was invited to Linnea’s little concert. 

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Feels right. Maybe we can plan a weekend and go up to see your family?” Louis looked at Harry with so much hope in his eyes, as if Harry would ever say no to that. Smiling Harry took Louis’ hand in his own.

 

“I’d love that.” 

 

*

 

“Daddy, will you read me my bedtime story?” Linnea had already changed into her pajamas after having a bath with Harry and was ready to hop into bed. 

“I will in a bit. But Harry’s friend is going to come over. He would like to meet you before you go to bed. Uncle Niall will be here as well.” Louis told her. They were standing in her bedroom, Louis helping his daughter to get her school things ready for the next day. 

 

“Uncle Niall is coming and I have to sleep?” Linnea asked with shocked eyes. Louis knew that she would be excited and probably not sleep as soon as she should on a school night. But everyone thought of him as a shit parent anyway, why not live up to it. 

 

“You can stay up thirty minutes longer to meet Harry’s friend. But then it’s time for bed. You don’t want to fall asleep in class tomorrow, do you?” Linnea shook her head no. She loved school too much to even think about missing any new information. Louis just hoped it would stay like this for many, many years. 

 

“Tomlinsons!” Niall’s voice was heard. Louis hadn’t even heard him coming in or ringing their bell. 

 

“Uncle Niall!” Linnea left her father with her school uniform in hands and ran out to her uncle. Louis didn’t even think about stopping her. She was as energetic as he had been as a child, and he remembered how he had hated it to be told to stop running or to bite his tongue. He tried to not do it with his daughter. 

 

“How’s my favorite girl?” Louis heard Niall say once he came into the living room and saw Linnea already in Niall’s arms. Harry was coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn in his hands and a wicked smile on his face.

 

“I love how he refers to me as a Tomlinson,” he whispered into Louis’ ear on his way to the couch.

 

“You love everything marriage related.” Harry just winked at him and put down the bowl. Louis quite liked the sound of it as well. For sure not anytime soon, but he could see Harry as his husband at some point. 

 

“I’m meeting Harry’s friend today!” Linnea told Niall excitedly. “I hope he’s nice. But Harry is the best, I don't think he would have bad friends.” 

 

“I met his friend, you know?” Niall told her and Linnea’s eyes went wide as if that was unbelievable news. 

 

“You did?”

 

“Yeah. And I can tell you that he is really nice.” 

 

“And he’s here,” Harry announced and put his phone back in his jeans pocket. Louis liked people who wouldn’t ring the bell but just text him in case his daughter was sleeping. Those people made his parenting life easier. 

 

Linnea wriggled out of Niall’s arms and went to sit in her daddy’s lap. Sometimes it was funny to Louis how his daughter was so open with some people and complete strangers but when it came to friends of friends she got shy. 

 

“You can go and say hi, honey. Liam is really nice.” The man in question came into the living room behind Harry. 

 

“This is Liam, Lili. He’s a friend of mine from L.A.” Harry told her. 

 

“Do you know Mommy?” Linnea asked and Louis grinned into the back of her head. 

 

“I don’t, no. But it’s very nice to meet you, Linnea.” 

 

“Do you like cookies?” was the next question out of the little girl's mouth.

 

“I do.” 

 

“We can share next time. Daddy made me brush my teeth and he won’t let me eat afterward. Even Harry won’t let me have cookies before bed!” 

 

“Because I want you to sleep and not be awake all night because of your sugar rush.” Harry laughed and got the girl from Louis’ lap to sit her down on his own. 

 

“When I’m a Mommy I will share my cookies with my kids before bedtime.” 

 

“We’ll talk about that in 15 years.” Harry laughed.

 

“Make it 20,” Louis argued and waved Niall and Liam over to the couch where they were still standing in the middle of the living room. They all talked easily for a bit before Louis got Linnea to say goodbye and bring her to bed. She wasn’t happy about it but Louis had expected a lot more resilience. 

 

“How’s everything?” Niall asked once Louis came back, sitting down on Harry’s lap. 

 

“A bit shit,” Louis told him honestly. “I’m glad we’re not hiding this. But everything I blocked out of my life when I deleted my social media apps is now coming back. It’s easy to question yourself when people keep telling you that you’re doing a shit job. There are nights when I think it would be easiest to just move and start knew. But I can’t pull Lin out of school or away from her friends. I have my Job here.” 

 

“I mean …” Harry spoke from behind him, head on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t say no to you two moving in with me in London. But rude people are everywhere. Just because you move it won’t change people.” 

 

“We already talked about this, Lou. Maybe you really should look into therapy options.” Louis just sighed and leaned back into Harry’s hold around his waist. It wasn’t that therapy was a bad idea, and he knew that it helped many people, but the word therapy usually sounded bad. And Louis wasn’t sure if he really wanted this. 

 

“Did you know that I’ve been to therapy for three years?” Liam asked and Louis shook his head. “When I started my career it kind of happened overnight. Out of nowhere all these people wanted something from me, everyone had an opinion on me and it was constantly so busy and loud only to be too quiet at the end of the day. I struggled and decided to go into therapy. It helped a lot and I’m mostly fine now. There are some days when I think too much about my Job, what it really means, how many people only have Jobs because of me and stuff like that. Those are the days when I have to call in for a session but mostly I’m fine. I can give you the contact if you want.”

 

“If your Bank account looks anything like Harry’s, I’m sure I can’t afford it.” Louis chuckled sadly. 

 

“I can pay for you.” came Harry’s voice next to his ear.

 

“Harry-”

 

“You don’t want me to spend money on you, I get it. And I respect that, don’t I? The only time I spent a lot of money was on Simba and his training. And that is something that helps you and Lin. Paying for your therapy sessions is the same thing, babe. It helps you. I’ve seen you this last couple of weeks and you’re not happy or okay. That’s all I want, for you to be happy and okay.” 

 

“Maybe I’ll try one session and see how I like it.” Louis decided and everyone in the room seemed happy enough with that answer.

 

*

 

The small stone jumped over the river water and made Linnea scream in delight. 

 

“Can you show me how you did it?” She asked and Harry nodded. Together they looked for more flat stones and Harry showed Linnea just how she had to throw it to make it jump over the water. It took a couple of tries before the girl got the hang of it, but as soon as she got it she wouldn’t stop. 

 

“This is so cool! I’ll show Daddy when he comes home.” Linnea decided. Louis had his first therapy session today and Harry had driven him to London and took Linnea out of the city to distract her from her Daddy being gone for a bit. 

 

“The next time we’re at a river you can show him. Do you want to get some ice cream before we have to go and pick up Daddy?” Harry asked knowing that Linnea would never say no to anything sweet. 

 

“Will you write a song about me, Harry?” Linnea asked out of the blue, sliding her smaller Hand into Harry’s bigger one.

 

“I did write a song about you. Why?” 

 

“The girls in school say that all the songs you sing are about Daddy.” she shrugged.

 

“The songs those girls know aren’t about your Daddy. I didn’t know Daddy when I wrote them. But all the new songs are about you and Daddy. Those are special songs.” 

 

“Will you sing them for me?”

 

“As soon as the album is done and I have the songs you’ll be the first one to have them, promise.” 

 

“You should sing Daddy a song before that. He’s sad. But I bet he’ll be happy again when you sing. I’m always happy when you sing.” Louis hadn’t heard any of the new songs either. Maybe Linnea was right. He should do something special for Louis, make sure he knew how loved he was and how proud Harry was of him. 

 

“Maybe I’ll give him a preview. Now let's get that ice cream before Daddy is lost in London.” 

  
  


Harry needed a bit of time to figure out how he wanted to do this. He knew that he didn’t want to simply give Louis the mp3 version and be done with it. Two weeks later he waited for Louis to come home after another therapy session. Talking to someone who knew how to help and what the right thing to say was, really seemed to help Louis. It was a Friday and Linnea was spending the night at her new friend Chloe’s house. 

 

The singer had driven her over and bought everything he would need for Louis’ favorite dinner on the way home. It was the first child-less night in a while and it would be all about Louis and making him feel good. For hours Harry had been standing the kitchen, glad that Louis decided to go to London via train and giving Harry a lot of time to prepare the night. At the end, he had a three meal course ready to be served, the table all set with candles and a fresh bouquet of flowers, and was waiting on the couch for Louis to come home. 

 

He didn’t need to wait long for the sound of a key in the lock. Seconds later Louis came in, looking tired, walked straight up to Harry and straddled his lap to hide his face in his neck. 

 

“Can you just hold me for a bit?” he asked and Harry was happy to oblige. It wasn’t unusually for Louis to be clingy after a session and Harry never asked why. Therapy was something private and if Louis ever would want to talk about it, he knew that Harry was ready to listen. They sat like this for a good fifteen minutes before Louis sat up and kissed Harry. 

 

“Thank you. Have you been cooking? Smells good.” Harry smiled at him and pulled him back down for another kiss. 

 

“Made you your favorite. Lils is with Chloe for the night and I thought it would be nice to have a night just for us.” 

 

“Sounds nice.” Louis got up from Harry’s lap and followed his boyfriend into the kitchen. Next to three candles in the middle of the table, there was also a huge bouquet of red and white roses and their appetizer already on the table. 

 

“Harry”

 

“Maybe more of a night for you. You deserve it.” Harry kissed his temple before releasing Louis and pulling his chair out for him. 

 

“You’re amazing,” Louis said in awe.

 

“I try.” Harry smiled cheekily. 

 

*

 

“I have something for you,” Harry told Louis after their dinner. They blew out the candles but left the dishes and Harry led the way to their bedroom. Over the weeks Harry had started to refer to Louis’ flat as their’s and he wasn’t even bothered by it. 

 

“I think I ate too much for whatever you have for me,” Louis told him once he saw where Harry was leading him.

 

“Shut up.” Harry laughed. “I’m not having sex with you. At least not now.” The singer opened the door and let Louis walk through. He had closed the curtains and made sure that the only light source was the ferry lights he had bought earlier and hang up on each wall in the room. He had cleaned the room, done Louis’ laundry and put fresh sheets on their bed. With even more roses on the bedside table, he had found the room ready. 

 

“Are you sure? This is pretty romantic.” 

 

“Yes. Okay, sit down, please.” Harry waited for Louis to sit down on the bed before he got his guitar out of the corner next to the door where he had left it. “My next album is 90% about you and 10% about Linnea. My songs mostly talk about how I have found the one in you, how I don’t think I can find someone more perfect for me, how much I love you and how perfect you are in my eyes. And I think lately you forgot how perfect you are and how much you are worth and mean to people who matter. So, I decided to give you a preview of one of the songs I have written about you.” 

 

Louis was stunned into silence. The thought that Harry was writing songs about him had crossed him before, but actually hearing a song about him was a completely different thing. It made it  _ real _ . Made Harry somewhat more  _ real _ . Harry wasn’t nervous singing his song in front of Louis. All he had written were feelings and wishes Louis already knew. 

 

_I found a love for me_   
_Darling just dive right in_   
_And follow my lead_   
_Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet_   
_I never knew you were the someone waiting for me_   
_'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love_

 

At the end of the song, Harry put his guitar aside only to find Louis in tears. He wasn’t full on sobbing but Harry could see that Louis was holding back tears. 

 

“I really hope you’re not crying because it’s bad. We actually planned for it to be a single. It will be everywhere.” Harry said with a faint smile and sat down next to Louis.

 

“I feel sorry for everyone who doesn’t have a partner who writes beautiful love songs about them.” Louis sniffed. “I love you so much.” 

 

“I love you. And I hope you know how perfect you are in my eyes.” Harry looked deep into Louis’ eyes to get the message across. Louis nodded and brushed away the tears that did escape. “If not, it will be on the radio a lot over the next months. You’ll have a daily reminder.” Harry grinned and Louis laughed, but Harry shushed him with a kiss. Kissing him he leaned forward until Louis got the message and let himself fall down on the bed, Harry over him not breaking the kiss. It was time for the next part of Harry’s plan of showing Louis just how perfect he thought his boyfriend was.

 

*

 

“Are you nervous?” Harry asked and looked quickly over to Louis before concentrating back on the road. 

 

“A bit,” Louis confessed. The last time he had met the parents was with Briana and that was the same day they had told them that she was pregnant. That was almost eight years ago. Meeting Harry’s parents didn’t feel much different. He didn’t have to tell anyone that a kid was coming, it was already here. And it had questions. 

 

“Are we there yet?” Linnea asked from the backseat. 

 

“Ten more minutes,” Harry promised and Louis felt like puking. They’ve been together for over six months - Louis decided he wouldn’t count the little break-up - and he still hadn’t met Harry’s parents. They didn’t even live that far away. 

 

“Is there a river?” Linnea kept her questions going. 

 

“What do you need a river for?” Louis asked.

 

“Harry showed me how to make the stones fly!” Louis wasn’t less confused but it seemed to be a thing between Harry and his daughter. 

 

“We’re meeting Harry’s parents first, Lin. After that, we can go the river, if there’s one.” Louis reminded her of the reason for their day trip. 

 

“Do you have a Mommy, Harry?” Linnea asked after a short break of questions. 

 

“I do. We’re meeting her and my sister. I don’t know where my Dad is and my Stepfather met your Grandma in heaven.” Harry explained his family situation. 

 

“It’s a good thing you have a Mommy. It’s like Mommy’s Mommy and Daddy’s Mommy. But Daddy’s Mommy had to leave us. But now I have your Mommy.” It was like she thought out loud. Louis bit his lip and looked over at Harry. He himself was sure of Harry as his partner for life. He didn’t mind Linnea indicating that she was meeting more family. But he was interested in Harry’s reaction. 

 

“Yeah … she’s excited to meet you.” Harry said, looking straight forward. 

 

“Can I call her Nanny? I call Mommy’s Mommy Granny and Daddy’s Mommy is Nana. Your Mommy is family, too. I need a name for her.” Harry suppressed a smile and Louis laid his hand on his boyfriend's thigh to signal him that it was okay. Whatever Linnea was indicating, he was okay with it. 

 

“I’m sure she’ll like that.”

 

Linnea seemed to be out of questions after that and was quiet for the last couple of minutes. As soon as Harry parked the car in the driveway he was looked back to Louis. 

 

“Ready?” Louis nodded. 

 

“Are you? Seems as you’re introducing a boyfriend and a grandchild.” Louis asked. Harry got a funny look on his face that Louis couldn’t quite place. 

 

“You know you’re it for me. You two are family to me. As long as you’re okay with it, I’m fine.” 

 

“I don’t mind at all. I’m just happy to have someone that makes me happy and who my child considers family.” They shared a last kiss before exiting the car. Louis helped Linnea out of the vehicle and together the small family walked up to the front door. They didn’t have to wait long before a woman so similar to Harry opened the door. Harry couldn’t deny his mother. 

 

“Hey Mom.” he went right in for a hug.

 

“I’m so happy to see you.” his mother - Anne, Louis knew - told him. It must be hard to see her son as little as she did. Louis didn’t even want to think about a time when Linnea was moving out.

 

“Mom, this is Louis. My boyfriend.” Louis stepped forward, Linnea’s hand in his own, to give Anne his hand, but before he could she had already pulled him into a hug. 

 

“It’s so good to meet you. I’m Anne.” 

 

“I’m Linnea! But my family calls me Lin. Except for my Harry, he calls me Lili.” Amazing how she wasn’t shy at all around the Styles Family. Chuckling Louis broke the hug. 

 

“That’s my daughter.” 

 

“Well, hello Linnea. I’m Anne, Harry’s Mom. And with all your nicknames, what do you want me to call you?” 

 

“Lin! You’re my Nanny, you’re family.” Linnea told her as if it was the obvious thing. Anne looked up at Harry and for a moment Louis got defensive in worry that Anne wouldn’t accept his daughter. 

 

“Surprise! You have a granddaughter.” Harry shrugged sheepishly. Anne gave him a look that told him that they would talk later but was all smiled when she turned back to Linnea and Louis relaxed. 

 

“How do you like some cake? I bought some for tea.” With that Linnea happily walked with her new Nanny into the house. 

 

“Probably should have warned her about that one.” Louis laughed. 

 

“How? She decided this was her family ten minutes ago.” 

 

“I’m really happy about it. She sees you as a parent and I just know that you will be the best parent for her.” 

 

“I don’t know about the best.” Harry shrugged. “I still think that’s you.” 

 

“Okay, let’s forget about that. I heard there’s some cake. And I still need to meet your sister, who’s now an aunt!” Louis went into the house with new found confidence, Harry hot on his heels. They found Gemma in the living room on the way to the kitchen, where Louis could hear his child laughing. Gemma was just coming out of the room and Louis’ first thought was that the Styles Gene’s must all come from Anne. The three of them couldn’t deny that they were family. 

 

“Hi, you must be Louis.” Again, Louis was pulled into a hug. This time though, Louis was prepared and hugged Gemma back without second thought. “I’m Gemma.” 

 

“It’s good to meet you,” Louis told her. “Have you met my daughter?” 

 

“Oh, my niece?” Gemma looked at Harry when she said that. She obviously had been addressed as aunt and hadn’t been expecting it. 

 

“Lili decided on us being her family in the car. I couldn’t really tell you before we got here.” Harry shrugged. “Are you okay with it?” 

 

“Are you?” Gemma countered. “I mean, are you two serious about this?”

 

“I can see my life with Harry. But even if, for some reason, we shouldn’t work out, I wouldn’t pull Lin away from Harry or you. Harry has been in our lives for a long time. To be honest I was wondering when Lin would start seeing him as family. You guys are her family. It’s not going to change, even if how we feel should ever change.” Louis said. At this point, Harry was a third parent for Linnea and it would be like pulling her away from Briana. 

 

“You’re a family man?” Gemma asked and Louis nodded. “Oh, you’ll fit right in then. Harry’s the same. His biggest dream is to be on stage, singing for a crowd of screaming fans, and seeing his partner and twenty kids on the sidelines cheering him on.” 

 

“I don’t know about twenty.” Louis laughed. “But I wouldn’t say no to more kids.” The excited flicker in Harry’s eyes made Louis realize that this could actually become his reality in the soon future. 

 

*

 

“Lin, are you ready? We’re late!” Louis called for his daughter while pulling on his shoes. The day for Harry’s photo shoot had come and Briana was back in London. Louis still hadn’t done her tattoo and Linnea was always happy to see her Mom. That’s why the Tomlinson duo was visiting the set and drive back to Doncaster with Harry and Briana. 

 

“Look, it’s like Harry’s show clothes!” Linnea had found a thin pink sweater with flowers on it. She would probably be hot real quick in it, the weather got warmer every day, but Louis wanted to give her the freedom of dressing herself how she wanted to. 

 

“You look very pretty. Now, put your shoes on and let’s see what Mommy has made for Harry.” Louis already had his keys in the hand, waiting for his daughter to be ready. On the way to London, again on the train, they would all drive back in Harry’s car, Louis got them a little snack and bought Harry a coffee and cookie at Starbucks at the station in London. 

 

The shoot was in some Hotel, hard to miss with all the security in front of it. Thankfully Harry had told them that Louis and Linnea were coming and they were led through. With Harry staying in Doncaster and being able to live somewhat normal, it was always a bit of a shock to see how famous he actually was. 

 

“What are they all doing?” Linnea asked once they in the lift on the way to get to the penthouse. 

 

“Do you remember when we were at Harry’s concert? And people were there to keep him safe? They made sure nobody got backstage who wasn’t supposed to be there.” Louis tried to explain.

 

“Are they keeping Harry safe?”

 

“Yeah. They make sure his fans can’t come in her. Sometimes, when too many people try to reach someone, it can become dangerous. No matter how excited you are to meet someone, always remember to be respectful and kind. Don’t forget that, yeah?” Louis wanted his daughter to understand the new life they were living, but also make sure that she wouldn’t become a crazy fan who put others in danger. 

 

“No, I want to be nice,” Linnea promised. 

 

“That’s good. Alright, let’s see where Mommy and Harry are.” There were a lot of people in the penthouse. Some Louis recognized as part of Harry’s team, others were busy with makeup brushes, hairspray, and cameras. This was the exciting backstage stuff that Louis had been looking forward to. 

 

“There’s Mommy! Can I say hi? Is that nice?” Linnea asked, remembering their conversation in the elevator.

 

“She’s not working, you can go.” Louis chuckled, pleased that Linnea had actually listened. 

 

“Mommy!” Linnea cheered and ran up to her Mother. 

 

“Hey, Sweetheart! Look at you, I love your sweater.” 

 

“It’s like Harry! With flowers.” Linnea told her proudly. 

 

“You’re even matching today.” Briana pointed to Harry who was talking to the photographer while getting his hair done. 

 

“You did a good Job,” Louis told her and gave her a kiss on the cheek in greeting. “He looks really good.” 

 

“I’m sure you would say that no matter what he wears.” Briana laughed. “But thank you.” 

 

“You’re still good for your tattoo?” Louis asked. The next part of the shoot had started and he sat down with Briana, pulled Linnea on his lap. 

 

“Are you kidding? I’ve been waiting for almost nine years! We weren’t even dating when you promised.” 

 

“I think I’ll get the same today. A matching parenting tattoo for our little flower.” Louis had thought about that for a while. He had a lot of tattoo’s but never got one for his little girl. He wanted something that represented his girl and as she got older her personality changed and he never knew what exactly he could get. Until he heard what Briana wanted, and he knew that this was the only right tattoo. 

 

“That’s nice. It shows not only our love for Lin but also that we’re in this together.” Briana said.

  
  
  


It was already almost time for Dinner by the time that they were all in Louis’ studio. Harry had changed into Joggers and a Shirt, his hair was sticking up wildly from all the product in it. But Louis found him soft and beautiful. He was busy drawing with Linnea on his lap while Louis worked on Briana.

 

“Okay, where do you want it?” Louis asked, gloves already on and ready to place the stencil. 

 

“On my wrist.” Briana showed him the exact place and Louis got to work. She had decided on a small flower design, but not just any flower - a Linnea. 

 

“It’s crazy to think that we’re parents for seven years,” Louis said quietly. 

 

“We did a good Job. Mostly you, but I think for being separated parents we’re really good with communication and putting her first.” 

 

“Sometimes I look at her and am amazed that we did that. We raised her. We are partly reason for her view on things, for her interests … it’s crazy. And sometimes I just want to give her to you and not have the responsibility.” It was something he had talked about in therapy and something he had never really talked about with Briana. Of course, it had been both of their decision to have her live with Louis in the United Kingdom, but sometimes Louis felt it all a bit too much for one person when two are supposed to do the job. 

 

“She wouldn’t be as happy if she would’ve stayed with me. I work too much. She wouldn’t be happy if I wouldn’t be happy.” 

 

“I know. And I’m happy that I have her in my life all the time and not just for a couple months during the summer. It’s just hard on my own sometimes … you know, not to be able to share the responsibility.” 

 

“But there’s nothing we can do about it.” 

 

“No. I just … there is a reason why there are two parents for each child. It’s a lot on your own and you never have a break. Everyone's eyes are on you when you’re a single dad. Especially as a man. Maybe that’s where my problems started.”

 

“You have Harry, now.”

 

“Yeah, took me a while to realize that I actually have him for all parts of my life.” Louis chuckled. He had talked about it a lot in therapy before he was ready to let Harry pick Linnea up from school and not care about looks the next day when he brought her in. There are two parents to each child, and Linnea had three. There was nothing wrong about that. 

  
  
  



	6. Epilog -I pay my own bills and I pay my own rent, 'Cause I'm indepe-, independent

**Epilog -I pay my own bills and I pay my own rent, 'Cause I'm indepe-, independent**

 

_Bad Bitch - Bebe Rexha (All Your Fault: Pt. 1; 2017)_

 

 

_One Year Later_

 

„Lin! Would you stop running? People have work to do!“ Louis could hear Briana call when he came back from catering with three cups of coffee in his hands. Just when he turned the corner to Harry's dressing room, his daughter was dashing out of it, Simba happily trotting behind her. Laughing Louis let her through and entered the room where Harry was getting dressed, Briana, making sure the Outfit looked like she had planned.

 

It was summer and Louis and Linnea were traveling with Harry for a bit on his tour before Linnea would need to go back to school. The first few times Harry had to travel for his Job, Louis had been a bit lost. His therapy had been working as long as he came home to his supporting boyfriend, but as soon as he was gone Louis started to doubt himself again. It was hard and he had called his therapist to ask for more sessions. Looking back it had been a good thing. Louis had to learn to really rely on himself and trust his intuition and decisions. Before that, he had understood what his therapist was telling him but relied on Harry telling him how good a parent he was. Now, a year later he could honestly say that he was a confident father, much more at ease when it came to possible seizures and not caring about other people's opinions.

 

But just because he was okay on his own, it didn't mean that he didn't want his partner with him. That's why, as soon as Harry had his tour dates, he made sure to close his studio for the summer and pack their bags to follow Harry around the world. For two weeks they had been on tour with the Popstar and the family still had four weeks to go.

 

„I got her,“ Louis told Briana and handed his boyfriend and Ex their cups. „We'll be back before you go on stage.“ Louis kissed Harry on the lips.

 

„Thanks, love.“ Louis simply smiled and went to find his daughter with his own cup of coffee in hand. Everyone on Harry's team – Tour family how he called them – knew who Linnea was and that she possibly could have a seizure. But none of them were handling her with more concern than necessary. She was a normal, happy kid with them and Louis was thankful for that. He had learned to trust every member of the Crew and knew that, should Linnea ever have a seizure or accident, someone would be there and let Louis know. It was part of why Louis could let his daughter run around freely and not worry too much.

 

„Lin! C'mon, let's go outside and play with Simba!“ Louis called down the hallway and minutes later Linnea was running back up. The Summer Sun had colored her blonde hair even lighter and given her the faintest freckles. With the missing front tooth, she looked so grown up and childish at the same time. Louis' heart ached a little knowing that his little girl was growing up. But at the same time, he felt incredibly proud of the girl she became.

 

„Daddy, look! One of the fans gave it to Harry when they met him! It's for Simba!“ Linnea was holding a tennis ball. Ever since Louis felt more confident about himself, he and Harry slowly started to share more about their private life and family. Fans quickly fell in love with Linnea and her dog and ever so often they would bring presents for them rather than Harry to Meet and Greets.

 

„Have you been playing with that ball inside? Mommy is right, you know? People are trying to work in here. C'mon, let's play with it outside.“ The hot summer air greeted them outside but they both spent so much time outside that none of them really minded. Some security guys were standing outside at the makeshift walls to make sure Fans were staying behind it. A couple Fans started to scream when Louis and his daughter got outside, another thing Louis had needed to get used to but was honestly fine with now.

 

They both played with Simba without caring for the fans. At first, Louis had felt bad about ignoring them, but Harry had made him understand that he didn't really ignore them, but went on with his day. There wasn't anything wrong with saying Hi to them, but he can't feel like needing to stay with them everytime he left the building.

 

Louis found a balance that worked for himself and made him feel good about himself.

 

„Daddy, I think Simba is done.“ Linnea laughed. The dog had caught the ball one last time and went on to lay down in a cooler place in the shade.

 

„It is really warm out here.“ Louis agreed. „I think it's also almost time for Harry to go on stage. Let's go and wish him good luck before the show starts.“ Linnea took Louis' hand and waved to fans before going back into the building with her father. Simba always had an eye on his owner and followed them back inside.

 

„Daddy?“ Linnea asked, small fingers on the tattoo Louis had on his wrist, not even six months' old.

 

„What is it?“ Louis asked.

 

„Can I have a tattoo?“ Louis had known that the question would come sooner or later. He was covered in them and Linnea knew what his Job was. He just hadn't expected it when she was only eight years old.

 

„You can have a temporary tattoo.“ Louis agreed.

 

„But I want this one.“ She referred to the latest one on Louis' wrist. It was a purple ribbon, standing for epilepsy awareness. He had wanted the tattoo ever since he used his slight fame as Harry Styles' boyfriend to spread awareness. The day he got it, Harry had been with him and decided spontaneously that he wanted the same tattoo. As soon as the tour had started Briana had gotten it, too. „I'm the only one in my family without it. And it's about me.“

 

„You're not the only one, baby. Only three people have the tattoo.“

 

„Yes, but all of them are family.“ Linnea decided and Louis felt as happy as he always did when Linnea referred to Harry as family.

 

„You're eight years old, Lin. You're not getting a real tattoo. The day you turn eighteen I'll get you your tattoo for free but until then I can get you a sharpie and you draw it on.“

 

„You're no fun.“ Linnea pouted.

 

„Oh, you'll thank me when you're older.“ Louis laughed.

 

„What if I ask Mommy? Or Harry? He's the easy one.“ Louis had to laugh some more at that.

 

„You can try, but none of them will allow you a tattoo anytime soon. Not even Harry.“

 

„Harry!“ Linnea called out after the two returned back to his dressing room. Both, Harry and Briana, were sitting on the couch waiting for the show to start.

 

„Mhm?“ Harry asked.

 

„You like tattoo's, right?“ Linnea asked and settled on Harry's lap.

 

„I do. On adults.“ Harry was smart enough to answer.

 

„Mom?“ Linnea immediately asked the last person who could allow her a tattoo.

 

„Dad said no, didn't he?“ Briana asked, but from her tone, Linnea knew that she wouldn't allow it.

 

„I'll find a sharpie.“ The girl announced and left the room.

 

„I told her she can draw a tattoo but I won't give her a real tattoo before her eighteenth birthday,“ Louis explained after seeing two confused faces. „She wants the epilepsy ribbon.“

 

„At least she doesn't want some Disney character.“ Briana sighed.

 

„Maybe we should stop getting tattoos for the family. She's getting the wrong idea.“ Harry grinned. Louis laced their fingers together and looked down on Harry's wrist where his own ribbon tattoo was, next to the Linnea tattoo that both Briana and Louis had.

 

„I like your tattoos for us. We make a good parenting trio.“ Louis said.

 

„We really do.“ agreed Briana. Harry didn't say anything, but Louis knew it was because Harry – even after a year – still was a bit hesitant when it came to parenting. Louis liked to throw Harry in Situations that would force him to be the Step-dad, just for the fact that he wanted the singer to realize that this was part of his life now. And that it was okay. Nobody was mad at him for taking on the role of Linnea's parent.

 

„I'm going to find Linnea and get her to the stage.“ Briana excused herself. As soon as she was out of the door, Harry got up and looked through his bag before coming back with a USB Stick.

 

„What's that?“ Louis asked.

 

„A Mixtape,“ Harry explained. „Not as old-school as I would've liked, but none of us have a CD Player so … I got you Songs that remind me of us on this Stick.“

 

„Thank you.“ Louis' last Mixtape had been in High School and he had made that one for himself. Never had anyone made him one for romantic reasons. „I love you.“

 

„I love you, too,“ Harry told him and kissed him fiercely. „And I'm really late.“ he giggled against Louis' lips.

 

„Go on and make them happy,“ Louis told him and kissed him again.

 

„Listen to the songs,“ Harry told him and left the dressing room. Louis wasn't even mad about not seeing the entire show. He always loved seeing his boyfriend on stage but it was the same show every night and this mixtape was something Louis really wanted to listen to right now.

 

He got Harry's MacBook out of his boyfriend's bag and put the Stick in. A list of sixteen Songs was waiting for Louis and while he could hear his boyfriend starting his show, he pushed his earphones in his ears and listened back to the last year and a half of their relationship.

_**All Your Fault – Playlist** _

  1. _I've Got You – Bebe Rexha_

  2. _Sweet Creature – Harry Styles_

  3. _Shut up and Dance – Walk The Moon_

  4. _Small Doses – Bebe Rexha_

  5. _Little Things – One Direction_

  6. _Happiness – The Fray_

  7. _Atmosphere – Bebe Rexha_

  8. _Revolting Children – Matilda – The Musical_

  9. _Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinéad O'Connor_

  10. _Gateway Drug – Bebe Rexha_

  11. _Perfect – One Direction_

  12. _Fuck Fake Friends – Bebe Rexha_

  13. _I gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas_

  14. _Back to you – Selena Gomez_

  15. _Perfect – Ed Sheeran_

  16. _Bad Bitch – Bebe Rexha_




 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! It took me a while to get this entire Story written so thank you to everyone who read and commented on every chapter. In case it wasn't clear, the Playlist Harry got Louis is the Playlist for this Fic - basically, every one Song mentioned xx

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also really shit at those fake IG Posts ... xD


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